starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 So I have been out with this guy a few times now (it was all mostly daytime dates). He asks me out he kisses me at the end of the dates....but he is not flirty whatsoever and does not seem to be trying to escalate things. Just seems to me we are heading for the friend zone fast as it comes off as he is talking to me as a friend and not someone hes trying to date/sleep with. He has not complimented me or verbally flirted. Not sure if this can be saved.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Not every guy thinks he should sleep with a woman he's dating just after a few dates. Secondly, some guys also like to take it slower in order to see who they're actually dealing with. In my opinion, if the latter is the case, then that's a good sign, because that means he's serious about a relationship and he's serious about you. I understand why you think like this, because most guys ARE like you expect them to be, however this isn't true for every guy out there. There are still some guys that try to go about things in a more classy way. Yes I'm hoping this is the case, but I'm not sure that it is....the passion is dying if something is not done about it soon I think it will be friend zoned for good I'd really like to go on an evening date with him or something more intimate.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Then I suggest to you that you try to make that evening date happen and that you reciprocate your interest to him in a way that a mere friend would never do. Men look for reciprocation too, he needs to be able to read you in the sense that you really do like him more than as a friend and that there is a chemistry between you two beyond friendship. That has to be clear, because men look for such signals too. Oh, but I have and have told him I like him
Andy_K Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, but I have and have told him I like him In which case, he probably thinks things are going great and doesn't want to put the moves on you too quick for fear of coming across as 'just another creep'. Have you made any flirty comments to him? Have you suggested an evening date, or going to your/his place?
Eddie Edirol Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Oh, but I have and have told him I like him How have you acted flirty and showed him you are into him that he hasnt reciprocated?
Dust Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Starla there is no such thing as the friendzone. Also he's kissing you. Yes you might get rejected and the old line "lets just be friends" but thats not the friendzone. The only thing you can do is if you like this guy give him a chance. Also let him know you like him which kissing and going out on dates with him should be more then enough to let him know. Not all men escelate things like sex or what ever you may be talking about on the time scale you're used to. So if you're still attracted to him I wouldn't worry about it.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Starla there is no such thing as the friendzone. Also he's kissing you. Yes you might get rejected and the old line "lets just be friends" but thats not the friendzone. The only thing you can do is if you like this guy give him a chance. Also let him know you like him which kissing and going out on dates with him should be more then enough to let him know. Not all men escelate things like sex or what ever you may be talking about on the time scale you're used to. So if you're still attracted to him I wouldn't worry about it. Yea this is true we are very affectionate with eachother, but otherwise he talks to me as a friend. I'm used to much more aggressive guys that show more interest I guess so this is tough.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 How have you acted flirty and showed him you are into him that he hasnt reciprocated? Good question. I mean we touch eachother and all, but he hasn't once said he finds me attractive or anything. You know guys usually say oh you look nice today? Or oh it was so nice to see you again. Yeah none of that.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 In which case, he probably thinks things are going great and doesn't want to put the moves on you too quick for fear of coming across as 'just another creep'. Have you made any flirty comments to him? Have you suggested an evening date, or going to your/his place? I'm planning on it.
Dust Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Yea this is true we are very affectionate with eachother, but otherwise he talks to me as a friend. I'm used to much more aggressive guys that show more interest I guess so this is tough. Well are you losing interest? If not I don't see it as a problem. I mean just talk to him and ask him "how he feels about you" if you like him but this is really bothering you. I think a guy who dates a girl but isn't really interested in her is very lame... Is that what you think is happening? Or maby you're just being scared?
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Except notice that those much more aggressive guys aren't with you anymore. Perhaps you should wonder why that is. That's why I said that when a guy takes it slow, it can be a good thing, because by looking who he's dealing with before sleeping with you he's taking the relationship and you into serious consideration. I'm not saying this IS the case in your situation, but it could be the case. According to a study I read about, it's when the man takes it slow, that the most stable relationship tends to form after that. From my perspective as a man I think that could very well be true. Because if you as a man are really considering a woman as the love of your life, then you want to know if they really fit the bill and figuring that out takes some time, hence a guy could take it slower in such situations. How slow are we talking? Because once a week for a month seems pretty darn slow to me.
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) When I say "slow", I meant the time frame before he decides to sleep with you. I didn't necessarily mean the frequency of the dates. Dating/meeting one time a week does really seem like too little. If I was really into a woman, then I'd want to see her as much as possible. One time a week wouldn't cut it for me. If she only wanted to see me once a week, then she'd be starving me out and there would probably come a point where I'd draw a line and tell her it's probably best for us both if we'd stop seeing each other. This is exactly how I feel. I want to see someone more than once a week...or nothing. Not like we have slept together yet though so he may be taking his time as our schedules are pretty crazy atm, but honestly just not showing me enough interest. Edited March 28, 2012 by starla33
Author starla33 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 I would love some female input here
Eddie Edirol Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Take the reigns Starla, dont be afraid to be more aggressive with him. Start being more affectionate, show him more that you are interested so there wont be any doubt in his mind that you are physically attracted to him. if that doesnt work, then you know for sure he isnt interested, or maybe on a rebound.
somedude81 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Interesting thread. It's something I'm going to keep in mind next time I'm out with a girl. 1
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