CBlasek Posted June 14, 2004 Posted June 14, 2004 Ok. Here goes. Me and a good friend of mine got togethor and started to date. Everything was going great, atleast I thought. Two weeks into everything she becomes very depressed and tells me she has feelings for me and for this other guy. She wants time to think about things. I say thats ok and tell her to go find out what these feelings are for him and we will still be friends. She has yet to. She still calls me everyday and we always make plans to spend the evening with each other. It rarely happens though. I told her that when we broke up we wouldnt be getting back togethor. We both come from long term relationships and I am afraid of getting hurt again like I did with my ex. She said she needs some time to think about it. So I said when she decides to let me know. That was a week ago and I am starting to feel like I am intruding in on her life. Ok now I have these questions for you. 1. I still love her very much and dont want to wait any longer. How do I get her back. I would do anything for her. 2. These feelings for this other guy, and than I tell her to go see what they are and she has yet to. What do you think she really means.
avsguy01 Posted June 14, 2004 Posted June 14, 2004 If you havent already done so trying making a move on her sexually, immediately.
Author CBlasek Posted June 14, 2004 Author Posted June 14, 2004 I dont want to lose her as a friend. If I do that I think she might get the wrong idea of me and pull away. She is my best friend right now. She is helping me through a tough time in my life and I am helping her. She has a problem with cutting, I was just diagnosed with Diabetes and its hard for me.
avsguy01 Posted June 14, 2004 Posted June 14, 2004 I could be wrong but my thinking is if you want something with her your going to have to persue her a little more. Show her you want to be more than just friends. Thats mean becoming more intimate is a must. The only thing i can think of is the other guy has quite possibly started to make moves on her and thats why she is becoming torn between the two of you. She seems to really dig you and probably thinks your the perfect one, but for there to be more the other part of a closer relationship is lacking. Whats the most you can lose? If you start making moves on her and she thinks it's affecting your friendship than maybe thats all you two can be. Trust me on this. Work on her a little more if you want a little more
Leikela Posted June 14, 2004 Posted June 14, 2004 Sorry, I have to disagree with the poster above. If you want to push her away more, then put the moves on her. If I was that girl and told you I needed space and then you tried to get into my pants, I'd have no respect for you. It's not all about sex. Also, you only gave the girl a week. That's way too short of a time. It will probably take WEEKS for her to sort out her feelings. The best you can do right now is keep on doing what you're doing. Continue to be there for her in a friendship way and express to her that you care. Girls love random gifts. Surprise her with a boquet of flowers or a card to show that you care. We girls eat that kind of thing up! Good luck to you.
avsguy01 Posted June 14, 2004 Posted June 14, 2004 Im not saying to just go for the pants, im just saying try to show her you're more interested than just being friends. See ive been hurt that way before. I have always been the mr. nice guy and ive been burned for it plenty of times. Fortunately i have found someone that i became good friends with and then slowly got more intimate and this is by far the best relationship ever in my life.
Author CBlasek Posted June 15, 2004 Author Posted June 15, 2004 I think I am going to talk with her tonight. I need to show her how I feel, but not so much like the way avsguy states. I do not want to lose her as a friend no matter what. I would rather us be over as lovers if we can only be friends. Im thinking of taking her to a local field tonight after 10 and having a picnic. She is a pizza and beer kind of girl, hard to believe, she is like 5 10 and like 110 pounds. So the planning should be easy. Just have to think about what to say/do. Wish me luck. Any comments/suggestions would be much appreciated. I will check back in before leaving tonight.
Leikela Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 Tell her whatever comes from your heart. If she loves beer and pizza then a beer/pizza picnic is a great idea. Surprise her by bringing her a single rose too. As long as you talk from the heart you'll do fine. Best of luck to you and let us know how it goes!
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