budley12 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 G.I.G.S or no? My ex dumped me 4 months ago after a 3 year relationship. We were each others firsts. The story between us is a long one, however I will try to keep it short. My ex came out freshman year of college and that was when I started to experiment. We fooled around, and he immediately fell in love with me. I told him over and over that I was not ready for a relationship with another guy because I was not comfortable with it. Over the next year we were "together" but not dating... we were still freshmen and I wanted to see what else was out there so I fooled around with other people (and told my ex exactly what I was doing/how I was feeling). In my eyes it was not cheating because we were not dating, and I told him how I felt about "us" and I was not ready for commitment. I broke his heart over and over again after each time he found out I fooled around with someone else. I had told him to move on if he wanted more from me, but he stuck around hoping it would develop. After some time it did develop into more. He gave me an ultimatum to be with him or not with him... so I chose him. I did not fool around with anyone else after this point. Everything was perfect then for about a year, but thats when a mutual friend got involved and tried to hook my ex up with a new guy. This mutual friend told my ex that I had cheated again and then my ex immediately broke up with me. One month later he wanted to get back with me but then decided against it and said "he forgave me for the heartbreak but could not forget". Now my ex is with a new guy and I have been NC for 7weeks. He said he wanted to stay friends and for me to be apart of his life but it is too painful to see him with another guy. My ex truly loved me, and I honestly fell in love with him. We were starting to make future plans and I was even getting ready to propose. I am wondering if my ex has a case of GIGS, or if I truly did hurt him beyond repair. Is it time to 100% let him go, or do I keep some hope for us. We were each others firsts so maybe he is just testing the waters in other relationships. Also, we are both studying abroad in different countries next semester, so I am hopeful that if I stay NC with him until after we get back it may give us time to heal and possibly start something back up after? Thanks
flitzanu Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 G.I.G.S or no? My ex dumped me 4 months ago after a 3 year relationship. We were each others firsts. The story between us is a long one, however I will try to keep it short. My ex came out freshman year of college and that was when I started to experiment. We fooled around, and he immediately fell in love with me. I told him over and over that I was not ready for a relationship with another guy because I was not comfortable with it. Over the next year we were "together" but not dating... we were still freshmen and I wanted to see what else was out there so I fooled around with other people (and told my ex exactly what I was doing/how I was feeling). In my eyes it was not cheating because we were not dating, and I told him how I felt about "us" and I was not ready for commitment. I broke his heart over and over again after each time he found out I fooled around with someone else. I had told him to move on if he wanted more from me, but he stuck around hoping it would develop. After some time it did develop into more. He gave me an ultimatum to be with him or not with him... so I chose him. I did not fool around with anyone else after this point. Everything was perfect then for about a year, but thats when a mutual friend got involved and tried to hook my ex up with a new guy. This mutual friend told my ex that I had cheated again and then my ex immediately broke up with me. One month later he wanted to get back with me but then decided against it and said "he forgave me for the heartbreak but could not forget". Now my ex is with a new guy and I have been NC for 7weeks. He said he wanted to stay friends and for me to be apart of his life but it is too painful to see him with another guy. My ex truly loved me, and I honestly fell in love with him. We were starting to make future plans and I was even getting ready to propose. I am wondering if my ex has a case of GIGS, or if I truly did hurt him beyond repair. Is it time to 100% let him go, or do I keep some hope for us. We were each others firsts so maybe he is just testing the waters in other relationships. Also, we are both studying abroad in different countries next semester, so I am hopeful that if I stay NC with him until after we get back it may give us time to heal and possibly start something back up after? Thanks you didn't say if this was true, bollded, whether you did cheat or not. as for the "we were each others' firsts" that doesn't really matter, and thinking he's "testing the waters" doesn't matter either. you're just trying to find reasons and excuses that aren't there. he's moving on, and unless he's coming to you saying "hey i want to fix this" then you shouldn't try to read into anything that's happening. i'd suggest keeping your chin up and moving on with YOUR life.
Author budley12 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 you didn't say if this was true, bollded, whether you did cheat or not. No i didnt cheat. I was falling in love. But the person my mutual friend said I cheated with I have done stuff with in the past so my ex assumed it was true. I feel that my ex wanted out and was just looking for a reason to end things. But I am just hopeful that he will miss me down the road and come back. I know I need to try and move on now but seeing him on campus almost everyday makes it so hard. When I do see him I just ignore him and pretend not to see him, but I want to talk so badly but idk if im ready for it. Ready to hear about how happy he is with his new relationship and being without me... I hope this is just a GIGS/seeing what else is out there thing and that he will come back to me with time, but I just wish there was something I could do to increase the chances of this
flitzanu Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 No i didnt cheat. I was falling in love. But the person my mutual friend said I cheated with I have done stuff with in the past so my ex assumed it was true. I feel that my ex wanted out and was just looking for a reason to end things. But I am just hopeful that he will miss me down the road and come back. I know I need to try and move on now but seeing him on campus almost everyday makes it so hard. When I do see him I just ignore him and pretend not to see him, but I want to talk so badly but idk if im ready for it. Ready to hear about how happy he is with his new relationship and being without me... I hope this is just a GIGS/seeing what else is out there thing and that he will come back to me with time, but I just wish there was something I could do to increase the chances of this well, the "best" advice given on that is to start "living well". no dumper wants to get back with a sad, mopey dumpee. go out and be confident and happy, and bigger than life. let them see what they're missing. however don't wait for him. go on with your life. 1
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