Foreverstrong Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I have another post about a break up that turned into us getting back together, this is sort of related. Long story short is that when my and my boyfriend were in a big fight I had accidentally scratched him when he grabbed onto me (had no idea I did it), I hit him with my keys when I left and I threw my keys in the direction of his friends car later on when they were leaving (didn't come near to hitting it though). His friend took my keys and left them at the police station. The problem is that my mother found out about a fight we had and that we were "taking time apart" even though we weren't actually doing that, he was just thinking out loud. Anyways, I had been speaking with the police over the phone for a couple days about arrangements to get my keys and they respected the fact I didn't want my parents involved, they didn't even have my home number. I lied to my mother to bring me to the library where I would be working on a school project. I waited 5 minutes inside and then ran across the street to the police station, grabbed my keys, and ran back to the library. I thought I was in the clear and things worked out perfectly. I got home late that night and my mom wanted to talk to me... she said she knows I went to the police station and she wanted to know what is going on. I lied and told her nothing... she then told me someone told her that I had scratched up someone's car and was being charged with assault (this is completely untrue btw, my boyfriend never even thought of doing that)... she connected the dots and assumed I needed a lawyer and I was in over my head and that I needed her help. I started crying and told him that his friend had my keys (didn't give reason) and he left them at the station for me, I didn't tell her because she'd overreact. She then treated me like I was lying and started going into details that were just creepy with accuracy. I told her everything was fine between us but she still won't believe me. She is convinced I am begin charged with assault! I don't know how to get her to leave me alone. I don't want her involved with my business even if she means well. I am also trying to get her to spill who called her because neither my or my boyfriend have any idea who would have the nerve to call her from a blocked number... I suspect the officer because of the details involved but I'll never know if she doesn't tell me.
woots31 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Let your mom know if she wants you to be honest with her she has to be honest with you. Instead of having no relationship, try one with mutual respect. I would love to have that sort of relationship with my mother.
Author Foreverstrong Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 I would be able to speak with her and let her help me if she'd listen to me. I told her that none of those things were true and she is treating me like I am lying to her. She is utterly convinced that I am facing charges and that everything is over between us. I told her again this morning that I was honestly just picking up my keys and that my boyfriend and I are working on things but she keeps on talking about lawyers and charges.... How can I open up to someone when she just keeps on overreacting and assuming I am lying about every detail.
TaraMaiden Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 you've lied before, and that's very difficult to forget, because however legitimate your reasons for doing so, lying just leads to more lying, and mistrust is the most difficult thing in the world to repair. try to prove to her, or ask her how you can - that you are not facing charges, and apologise unreservedly, and unconditionally for lying to her. After you have provided proof that you're not lying, do whatever it takes to renew her trust in you. This means being completely transparent about everything - she will demand this - and you'll have to give it to her.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Yeah she knows youre not telling her the full story. You wont be able to get her out of your business as long as she is driving you places. She knows youre impulsive and emotional, so she knows you are not telling the full truth. For her to be honest with you, you have to be fully honest with her first. She has the upper hand, not you, so you will have to give in. And for god sakes, stop throwing hissy fits!
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