water4150 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 So I'm trying so hard to ignore my ex and everything about her. But the thing is.....I CANT!!!! No matter what is happening there will always be that one trigger that sets me off. For example I was on facebook today doing the routine notification check. I have her deleted off my page but not blocked. I feel like blocking her is a bit to extreme and I don't want to permantly cut off communications even though she has my number and mutual friend etc. But...as I'm checking...of all the thousands of words on my news feeds I see her name liking my mutual friends status (MF is a girl) and it just set me off into the "shakes" and "thoughts"... I can't see her facebook since she's private and vice versa but it just set me off big time. Totally unexpected and I was completely fine the entire week. She barely even uses facebook I had a friend look at her page for me (bad mistake i know) and there hasn't been anything since Feb. But I don't know about private messages etc. and that thought bothers me so much! After almost 6 months bu I still love her, still want her back and still wish she would come back...but I know she won't atleast that's how it seems now. I want this pain to stop.... Bad day today...
jennisfora Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 i've had a bad couple of days. i hear it gets better. im still waiting for that to happen. Hang in there. nothing worth doing is easy. *hugs* 1
blindesided Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I had a bad day today too...just come here to the forum if you feel like conatacting her or checking up on facebook. Make this place your new obsession. One day (or hour) at a time - It will get better
Author water4150 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Yea I been coming on here once a week or something. It's been rough but has gotten better. But I'm not where I want to be. Its not fair that we are the ones that are suffering the most while they walk away unharmed or untouched. They get to walk with their heads up high but what do we do...we still picking up the pieces they shattered... It's just not fair...I just want this pain to stop... 1
lostconfidence Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 today am really struggling. havent slept a wink am temtped to unblock her on facebook just to see that she getting on woth it and dosnt care. i dont need to drive past this punks house this morn but i think i will jst to prove that her car is there and that she just dosent care .... dosnt seem fair that am lyin awakw while shes lyin getting banged
sweetheart5381 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Yea I been coming on here once a week or something. It's been rough but has gotten better. But I'm not where I want to be. Its not fair that we are the ones that are suffering the most while they walk away unharmed or untouched. They get to walk with their heads up high but what do we do...we still picking up the pieces they shattered... It's just not fair...I just want this pain to stop... Me too. They are feeling it too though...the pain sets in slower for them though. Easy to walk if they have the "power". After being virtually ignored for along time through the last part of the relationship then through the breakup (he broke up with me) I can say honestly after I went NC for 3 weeks, he jumped at my text and responded. They feel it too, no worries. We have talked and I have learned that I hurt him too. Alot. Ya, we are picking up pieces, but perhaps, they are too. Either way, we are each responsible for our own happiness in the end, not them. Forget blame, it's a muddy, dirty lost cause.
Kaotic Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Hard day today for me as well Hang in there, you're not alone. I sort of broke NC today I didn't call or text or Facebook, etc but I had a certificate for a Frozen Yogurt shop in his city that I e-mailed him since I can't use it (different city)...Just wrote that I was cleaning out my email and found the old certificate and for him to feel free to use it since its in his city. Not really expecting a reply to come from that.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 today am really struggling. havent slept a wink am temtped to unblock her on facebook just to see that she getting on woth it and dosnt care. i dont need to drive past this punks house this morn but i think i will jst to prove that her car is there and that she just dosent care .... dosnt seem fair that am lyin awakw while shes lyin getting banged Please dont think these thoughts... they are really harmful. Even if she is banging another, it's her business, not yours. Don't waste your time with these thoughts. They are terribly harmful and ruin your own self-respect.
Author water4150 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Me too. They are feeling it too though...the pain sets in slower for them though. Easy to walk if they have the "power". After being virtually ignored for along time through the last part of the relationship then through the breakup (he broke up with me) I can say honestly after I went NC for 3 weeks, he jumped at my text and responded. They feel it too, no worries. We have talked and I have learned that I hurt him too. Alot. Ya, we are picking up pieces, but perhaps, they are too. Either way, we are each responsible for our own happiness in the end, not them. Forget blame, it's a muddy, dirty lost cause. I think I'm on 4 weeks nc or 5. I don't remember. But I'm not expecting a message from her any time soon. Idk if she seeing or talking to another guy. And that thought bothers the hell out of me. It got so bad to the point where I told my best friend to change my fb password for the time being. I'm having so many negative thoughts that it's killing me here. N I'm scared cuz I want this pain to stop but nothing happening. Nothing is making it hi away n I try so hard to get rid of any triggers. I just want to be healed!!!
jennisfora Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 same here, i want to be over it, or i want him to call me, say he is sorry, and that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work...i know the first option is what will most likely happen. but right now, i just want it to be over. sometimes i think if i knew if he was dating someone it would be easier. but knowing anything in his life right now, just makes me so sad. so, trying to be strong. its hard.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I think I'm on 4 weeks nc or 5. I don't remember. But I'm not expecting a message from her any time soon. Idk if she seeing or talking to another guy. And that thought bothers the hell out of me. It got so bad to the point where I told my best friend to change my fb password for the time being. I'm having so many negative thoughts that it's killing me here. N I'm scared cuz I want this pain to stop but nothing happening. Nothing is making it hi away n I try so hard to get rid of any triggers. I just want to be healed!!! 1. Don't feel negative about yourself, that's the first step. It's hard because of the rejection you feel at the end of the relationship. We all feel ****ty, we all make mistakes, that's how we learn. 2. Triggers will happen. You can lessen them with avoidance but they are still there til you tackle them. (I work with my ex, same place, every damn day) At some point you cannot avoid, just have to deal with it. 3. Willpower is there if you believe that you have it. Take back the power. You had the power to give it, now take it back when needed. Stay away from FB... you dont need a friend's help, just stay away. Take care... it sucks now, but gets better. If you really wanna feel better, listen to LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It Feel good honey, life is short!
Author water4150 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 1. Don't feel negative about yourself, that's the first step. It's hard because of the rejection you feel at the end of the relationship. We all feel ****ty, we all make mistakes, that's how we learn. 2. Triggers will happen. You can lessen them with avoidance but they are still there til you tackle them. (I work with my ex, same place, every damn day) At some point you cannot avoid, just have to deal with it. 3. Willpower is there if you believe that you have it. Take back the power. You had the power to give it, now take it back when needed. Stay away from FB... you dont need a friend's help, just stay away. Take care... it sucks now, but gets better. If you really wanna feel better, listen to LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It Feel good honey, life is short! I'm trying so hard. But it's like I take one step forward and 4 steps back.. Ty for your encouragement.!!!!
mymission Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Yeah I'm having a really bad day as well. Miss him loads and I just want to tell him that. But its not a good idea and it won't go down well.
chris24 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Me too. I wake up every day and tell myself it's going to get better, but then the emotions come flooding back in and all I want to do is for her to call and say I made a huge mistake, but that's not going to happen. It's a tough realization, but one that you have to make concrete in your head. It's terribly sad to think about though.
offcloudnine Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I find that there are moments each day where the NC would be get really bad, particularly at night for me. Like chris24, all I want to do is call her, talk to her, and tell her that I want us together again, but it won't work. Secretly I hope NC would help bring us back together someday, but I'm not even sure whether NC is helping or not anymore. Just keep soldiering forward, I hope that at least some of us can have our happy ending.
Author water4150 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 I find that there are moments each day where the NC would be get really bad, particularly at night for me. Like chris24, all I want to do is call her, talk to her, and tell her that I want us together again, but it won't work. Secretly I hope NC would help bring us back together someday, but I'm not even sure whether NC is helping or not anymore. Just keep soldiering forward, I hope that at least some of us can have our happy ending. I know exactly what you and chris mean. There has not been one day (we been broken up for almost 6 months and I think 4-5weeks of NC) where I don't think about her... I forced myself to wear a rubberband on my wrist and snap it everytime i think of her. Does it work...yea its a good temporary relief...but my wrist hurts like a B&*$#. Scary part is...I kinda enjoy that pain rather than the pain from the bu... I keep saying to myself "she's not coming back" "she's gone forever" but I just don't believe it...I want to believe it so I can move on...but I can't...
gurr13r Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Im feeling all of your pain too, I unblocked her on facebook, subscribed to her and keep checking every few minutes to see if she is up to anything (even though I know she is very busy with work and college assignments) she is too busy to probably be even missing me at all, in the meantime im lying on the couch with no motivation to do much at all, I know it will get easier because I tried NC before a few times and failed miserably, im now on day 3 of NC and desperately want her to contact me, to want to resolve our differences and try and make it work, I can tell myself I accept its over and try to move on, but I dont believe it, deep down I believe NC will give her the space she needs to realise she loves me as much as I love her and she will want me again
Poovey Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I'm sailing in the "bad day" boat too. It sucks. I keep trying to keep myself occupied, but it's little things that just seem to pop up and bite me in the butt. I know with each day it has gotten better by the inch, but I'm so ready for these feelings to end! Good luck!
Ben00 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I have been without my ex for 1 week now, NC. Yes, the days are gradually passing by, but time seems to go by so slowly. Thoughts of her constantly bombard me since I drive past her house on the way to work. I find myself looking for her car in traffic. It hurts bad. We would make weekly visits to my parents' house and have dinner with them. Tonight was one of those nights... except I was alone this time of course. I was doing ok until I saw one of the pictures of my ex and I in my parents' living room. The tears came. Later, on my drive home, "Somebody That I Used To Know" came on the radio (Gotye). It solidified the fact that my ex is now exactly that. Just somebody that I used to know. Tonight is a very hard night. Wish I could just call her up and hear her voice, it seems like forever. That's not going to happen though. I know I (we all) have to stay strong. Here's hoping all of our nights get just a little better...
Author water4150 Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 I have been without my ex for 1 week now, NC. Yes, the days are gradually passing by, but time seems to go by so slowly. Thoughts of her constantly bombard me since I drive past her house on the way to work. I find myself looking for her car in traffic. It hurts bad. We would make weekly visits to my parents' house and have dinner with them. Tonight was one of those nights... except I was alone this time of course. I was doing ok until I saw one of the pictures of my ex and I in my parents' living room. The tears came. Later, on my drive home, "Somebody That I Used To Know" came on the radio (Gotye). It solidified the fact that my ex is now exactly that. Just somebody that I used to know. Tonight is a very hard night. Wish I could just call her up and hear her voice, it seems like forever. That's not going to happen though. I know I (we all) have to stay strong. Here's hoping all of our nights get just a little better... Be strong my friend. I know your pain. I'm 5-6 months into bu...thoughts are still there. I tried to remove all the triggers. I put all of her stuff in a draw that I never use andI never want to open it up. There was a point where I had to to put more stuff in there...and I broke down crying. I don't want to get rid of it, I know its there but it doesn't bother me that it's there. It bothers me if I see the stuff. I hope that one day they all call us back begging for forgiveness and everything. But we can't wait for that. They left us and if they want us back...they have to come get us. And when they do call us back...it will be our time to be in control of our emotions and it will be our decision to take them back or not. Be strong everyone....I wish us all the best and happiness to come around that corner... 1
chris24 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I hope that one day they all call us back begging for forgiveness and everything. But we can't wait for that. They left us and if they want us back...they have to come get us. And when they do call us back...it will be our time to be in control of our emotions and it will be our decision to take them back or not. Be strong everyone....I wish us all the best and happiness to come around that corner... You're exactly right. They left us, for whatever reason it may be, whether justified or not, they left and right now they aren't coming back, or ever coming back. It's strange though, it's been one month since my breakup and while I still think about her from time to time, something clicked the other day and told myself there is no reason to be sad, because LIFE GOES ON. It's so hard to accept the love of your life, or so you thought, is gone, but realize with time and healing comes happiness. You will be happy again. I hope my ex-girlfriend realizes just how much we went through together and I hope she comes back someday, but hoping will only get you so far and until you give up that, sometimes false, sense of hope, you will never move on and it's something a lot of us have to do. As stated, stay strong everybody - you are not alone in this journey.
gotye Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 ya... I thought by now he would try to talk to me in some way but noooope
Follower Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Everyday day for me is a bad day for NC... Lives awsome aint it
camarad Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Acceptance is the only way to set your soul free. Everything begins for a reason as does everything that ends.
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