Wideload Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Hi All, First post on these forums. A bit of back ground to start with. I was working with a lady who I had meet a long time ago, we started to flirt with each other even though she was married. She had been through a couple of separations with her husband and he would change but then drift back to how he was before hand. Well flirting turned into more and she did leave her husband and move into her own place. We starting seeing each other quite a lot even though he was trying to get her back and making changes like he had before. we have been together about 6 months and now she dumps me saying she thinks she has made a mistake and that her husband is going to councilling and making changes. She still says she loves me and is sorry for hurting me. I believe that she does still love me and I love her. I have read all over the net that the No Contact is the way to go about it, making her miss me rather than me showing her that I care for her and do want to be with her. The issue I have is that her husband has not used this method and it looks like it might be working for him. It is hard to try this no contact but will do it. But if/when she does make contact with me to I continue to go no contact or do I start to make contact with her on a more regular basis?
january2011 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 No contact is for you. To give yourself breathing space to get your emotions in check. To process the hurt and get your life back in order. It is not a ploy to get your ex back. In that regard, it provides a poor guarantee. Go 'no contact' because you need to get on with your life and move on, for your own mental and emotional health. And respect her decision to reconcile with her husband.
Fitz Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I'd wager that you probably were lied to and don't have all the facts. Unless you have had open communication with her husband about this affair, then you are in the DARK (with a bag over your head... and a blind fold...). That's the nature of the beast when you're participating in an affair. And lies are like roaches. If you find one, then you can bet that there are plenty more hiding in the walls and cupboards... Forget her. Move on. She's damaged goods. If she disrespected her husband by this affair, she will certainly be able to do the same to you.
Philosoraptor Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Sadly you were very likely a rebound used for her to avoid her emotions. You need to not make any contact with this woman to take care of yourself as even if she left him she is obviously in no way ready for a relationship.
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