Enlightened:)

[BewitchedandBothered]

So I was dwelling as usual on my situation. I am more angry with myself for having been with this guy in the first place. Angry that, though initially I thought he was strange, I met him anyway because of his charm. Angry that after the verbal and mental torture I endured by him, he found someone new to worship.

 

I was angry at this new girl for being so perfect, having a career, having traveled the world, being a successful veterinarian, angry at her for being tall with blonde hair and blue eyes.

 

I was angry that he put her out in the open on his Facebook for all to see, he is bragging about her, proud of her and making sweet comments under her pictures==he kept me hidden. I have no career like this girl/nothing to brag about, haven't seen the world and am afraid of my own shadow--she has been on skis, whitewater rafting, kayak...I cannot swim, I cannot drive at night. I'm not tall and pretty like she is. I am short with brown eyes and plain. But....

 

I got extremely angry at myself for letting him do this to my self worth==his ex wife whom he never really got over emasculated him after having been abused by him. She left him and is now marrying another woman. He took out all his hurt on me, as I see it. Whatever she made him feel, he did it all to me and he won.....At first.

 

I vented to a dear friend who went through the same thing--she healed quicker than I. She told me that my ex wins if I keep believing I have nothing to speak of regarding myself. That I need to look at my self esteem and see how it has plummeted since being with this guy and the aftermath of him. She is right. I am strong, cute, smart, witty, fun to be around, generous, helpful, caring. I am all these good things and more.

 

I no longer need to focus on all the good things this new woman has===because SHE GOT THE BOOBY PRIZE!!!!!!!!! He could be her punishment in life, LOL. In all seriousness, when my friend said this lady got the booby prize, I laughed so much that tears streamed down my face. Someone got my old stuff, my leftovers and leftovers are not always good the next day. It made me realize that things happen for a reason and the reason doesn't have to be a punishment to me.

 

I was told a leopard doesn't change his spots; all this charm he is showing is just the beginning/the honeymoon. She will get to see his true colors come out eventually and I no longer have to worry about him making me cry or feel bad about myself. I can finally hold my head up high and proud:)

 

It feels so damned good to have gotten to this place. And this friend never once told me to 'get over it already'; she listened and helped me. She called me with her problems at 3am needing to talk; I was there. I will always be there. It helps to have a support system to lets you go on and on and on about the same stuff and never judge, just listen and offer a good fresh perspective.

 

Just wanted to share with you===don't fret if your ex has a new love interest=--that love interest got the booby prize<3

[Mack05]

I think Bewitched you need to focus now on loving yourself. To try become more positive. Let go of all the negative emotions that are still within you. This is a slooooowww process, but how we deal with grief and how we heal will determine the kind of relationships we have in future.

 

People can heal in healthy or unhealthy ways. Healthy ways are just purely focusing on yourself. Listening to advice/criticisms of us and strive to resolve the flaws that have held us back in the past. Unhealthy is to focus on your ex and their behaviours in the R. Putting all the blame on them. Feeling resentment, anger, bitterness, cynicism, and other negative emotions longer then you ideally need to. By focusing on our ex's, we are not learning the lessons we need to learn.

 

Myself and my most recent ex brought the worst out in the other. I don't believe it makes us bad people. It just means we are not right for another. We all need to find partners who bring the best out of us. The best chance of that happening is when we are happy inside and truly happy in our overall lives.

 

It doesn't matter how amazing this girl is. How many pictures he posts of them. Leaving your Facebook open for your ex to see, posting all these happy status's and pics, screams insecurity and self denial. "Look at me world I am happy". When people are really happy within themselves they don't need to broadcast it to the 'Facebook' world.

 

You need to rise above his immaturity. You need to believe in your heart that you are the best prize he has ever lost. You have to learn to truly love yourself so that a) you will recognise the red flags in future and b) you will never allow ANY man to treat you like this again. Once you make these positive changes to your life, it's amazing how new opportunities will arise for you and how you will start attracting the right guy for you..

Edited March 27, 2012 by Mack05

[BewitchedandBothered]

I think Bewitched you need to focus now on loving yourself. To try become more positive. Let go of all the negative emotions that are still within you. This is a slooooowww process, but how we deal with grief and how we heal will determine the kind of relationships we have in future.

 

People can heal in healthy or unhealthy ways. Healthy ways are just purely focusing on yourself. Listening to advice/criticisms of us and strive to resolve the flaws that have held us back in the past. Unhealthy is to focus on your ex and their behaviours in the R. Putting all the blame on them. Feeling resentment, anger, bitterness, cynicism, and other negative emotions longer then you ideally need to. By focusing on our ex's, we are not learning the lessons we need to learn.

 

Myself and my most recent ex brought the worst out in the other. I don't believe it makes us bad people. It just means we are not right for another. We all need to find partners who bring the best out of us. The best chance of that happening is when we are happy inside and truly happy in our overall lives.

 

It doesn't matter how amazing this girl is. How many pictures he posts of them. Leaving your Facebook open for your ex to see, posting all these happy status's and pics, screams insecurity and self denial. "Look at me world I am happy". When people are really happy within themselves they don't need to broadcast it to the 'Facebook' world.

 

You need to rise above his immaturity. You need to believe in your heart that you are the best prize he has ever lost. You have to learn to truly love yourself so that a) you will recognise the red flags in future and b) you will never allow ANY man to treat you like this again. Once you make these positive changes to your life, it's amazing how new opportunities will arise for you and how you will start attracting the right guy for you..

 

Mack, I couldn't agree more; and after my friend helped me open my eyes today, it felt damn good to know that I am good things. It was a long time of mental torture with my ex and after awhile, I felt terrible about myself. In these 18 months of healing, I've had good days and bad. I am tired of feeling icky about myself===I was a good gal before this guy and I never stopped being me. It is time to focus on ME, not on the situation and the things that happened and certainly not that oaf I dated. I feel like a gigantic weight was lifted from my shoulders and I will keep going up from here:)

[Mack05]

I feel like a gigantic weight was lifted from my shoulders and I will keep going up from here:)

 

Time to leave the past in the past. To say 'Goodbye' for good and finally move on with your life to a new, bright, exciting chapter..

[BewitchedandBothered]

PS, Mack, you are sooooo right about what you said-----My ex is extremely private; doesn't put anything out there on his fb for people to see if you are not friends with him on there. That photo album was made public intentionally. I discovered this when I was sharing my photo album; found that you can place the settings to 'public'. He is not a public kinda guy---Me thinks it was an 'in your face' to his ex wife because she is very recently engaged; he never got over her. One night he kissed me and said "I love you.....*ex wife's name*"--after that he called me by her name 5 more times. I don't think he cares what I think--I think it was directed to her. Wanted to point out your rightness on that; another relief/burden lifted.

[Mack05]

PS, Mack, you are sooooo right about what you said-----My ex is extremely private; doesn't put anything out there on his fb for people to see if you are not friends with him on there. That photo album was made public intentionally. I discovered this when I was sharing my photo album; found that you can place the settings to 'public'. He is not a public kinda guy---Me thinks it was an 'in your face' to his ex wife because she is very recently engaged; he never got over her. One night he kissed me and said "I love you.....*ex wife's name*"--after that he called me by her name 5 more times. I don't think he cares what I think--I think it was directed to her. Wanted to point out your rightness on that; another relief/burden lifted.

 

Bewitched I am AWESOME at analyzing other people. Not so awesome when it comes to analyzing myself.

Edited March 28, 2012 by Mack05

[BewitchedandBothered]

Bewitched I am AWESOME at analyzing other people. Not so awesome when it comes to analyzing myself.

 

You truly are awesome. But when it comes to ourselves we aren't too clear; much too close to the situation and we could try to analyze in our favor. Coming here and getting others' points of views has really helped. And all you have said really helped lighten my heavy heart. I was in a dark place for a long time, wanting to get out. No one WANTS to feel that way; we just feel that way till we don't feel that way anymore. My pride, ego and heart took a big hit.

 

A friend of mine told me to watch it unravel because this fellow will end up alone. (she dated him a couple years before he met his ex wife). She said and I quote "I couldn't stand him then and he is much worse now; he will end up alone; it won't last with this girl; something will go go wrong and his true colors will show, unless she is just as looney as he is..."--what say you?

[ThatDudeXO]

I like this. We really romanticize and think way too highly of our exes when we shouldn't. I think after a breakup, a dumpee's love actually grows massively. I've never been this in love with my ex, during most of our R I was having fun but didn't think I was that in love but now it's over I'm head over heels in love with her and what for? She's a fake immature *****.

 

same goes to you, you're still in love but you're seeing the late. You can do sooooo much better and be glad that you got rid of this abusive fool.

There is no way you would have enjoyed life with an assh**e like that...

 

...so forget LOVE, ignore our stupid needy hearts and let's be logical about this. They are NOT good enough for us so there is no reason for us to think of them so much.

 

I can relate to you so much because we're at similar stages. We aren't that hurt anymore, all we have to do now is to fall out of love with those fake idiots and start loving ourselves more. We spend hours on LS trying to figure stuff out because we are amazing, kind and caring people, something our exes clearly aren't. We don't give ourselves enough credit so we put ourselves down for being dumped when we shouldn't.

 

We are beautiful human beings who deserve other beautiful human beings, not fake, dishonest, unworthy people such as our exes.

[BewitchedandBothered]

I like this. We really romanticize and think way too highly of our exes when we shouldn't. I think after a breakup, a dumpee's love actually grows massively. I've never been this in love with my ex, during most of our R I was having fun but didn't think I was that in love but now it's over I'm head over heels in love with her and what for? She's a fake immature *****.

 

same goes to you, you're still in love but you're seeing the late. You can do sooooo much better and be glad that you got rid of this abusive fool.

There is no way you would have enjoyed life with an assh**e like that...

 

...so forget LOVE, ignore our stupid needy hearts and let's be logical about this. They are NOT good enough for us so there is no reason for us to think of them so much.

 

I can relate to you so much because we're at similar stages. We aren't that hurt anymore, all we have to do now is to fall out of love with those fake idiots and start loving ourselves more. We spend hours on LS trying to figure stuff out because we are amazing, kind and caring people, something our exes clearly aren't. We don't give ourselves enough credit so we put ourselves down for being dumped when we shouldn't.

 

We are beautiful human beings who deserve other beautiful human beings, not fake, dishonest, unworthy people such as our exes.

 

When we are dumped and then that dumper finds someone new to idolize while they are talking trash about you, that tends to take the ol' self esteem down a few notches. I grew weary of giving him that kind of power over me. the very fact that he put this photo album set to 'public' while that is not his style is extremely telling. He is already using her to stick it to someone. that's what it looks like from where I am standing.

 

The person I fell in love with never existed. It was a ruse to lure me in; he chameleonized himself to me and my interests. Most likely he is doing the same with this one. Right now it's honeymoon for them; it will be nice at first, but he is a very sick individual and I had to find out the hard way.

 

Also, several women warned me in the beginning, but I was in that honeymoon stage. Denial. Now I am starting to finally get 'me' back. I know I am a good person which makes me a perfect target--sociopaths like my ex are attracted to nice people that they can sully and bring down because it helps elevate them.

 

I was fine before this guy and I am fine now. It took awhile to get here, and it feels good to breathe again. That guy was a waste of time and I know he isn't going to suddenly change into Mr. Wonderful for this lady he idolizes so much--as he blatantly put it all out there for the Facebook world to see. He is not Mr. Wonderful, he is Douchey McDouchebag.

[BewitchedandBothered]

I also have been thinking about the possibility of Borderline Personality Disorder---I always had a strong feeling he has this because of the abuse. At first, he put me on a pedestal and worshiped me; it wasn't long before he totally devalued me. There was never an in between there. When I went to his ex wife because his behavior scared me, she told me she felt he was "undiagnosed bipolar"-her words. I read the symptoms of BPD and it all makes sense. My past boyfriends were jerky, but there were no extremes like this and none of my ex's except for 1 matched this man's behavior.

 

That other ex, my very first bf when I was 17, has BPD and takes medications for it. Back then, I didn't understand it and he didn't take meds back then. When I was dating my recent ex and noticed the behaviors, I kept thinking "Wow, he reminds me so much of my first b/f"...I wonder what the odds are. Just going on a curious hunch.

 

When I went to the ex wife, it was with good intention; I figured if he had a condition and it was confirmed, I would maybe understand and have compassion. But it wasn't confirmed; just a hunch on her part as well. When he found out, that was it, He hated me completely and insisted that I did this to cause drama and malice. I am not that type of a person; I only wanted answers and she filled in the blanks for me.

[LSgirl]

oh geez, i feel like ours is a little similar. my ex was with his ex-fiancee for 8 years but she cheated on him with a woman and moved across the country with her new girlfriend. We got into a relationship months after their breakup and I feel like I had to endure all the pain he was going through. I had to listen to it, I felt inferior to her and don't know why I put up with it for over a year. Finally I had to walk away from the relationship when he said he didn't see me long-term. He never got over her. I don't know what he's doing now or if he's seeing someone, ignorance is bliss in this case for me.

[Million.to.1]

oh geez, i feel like ours is a little similar. my ex was with his ex-fiancee for 8 years but she cheated on him with a woman and moved across the country with her new girlfriend. We got into a relationship months after their breakup and I feel like I had to endure all the pain he was going through. I had to listen to it, I felt inferior to her and don't know why I put up with it for over a year. Finally I had to walk away from the relationship when he said he didn't see me long-term. He never got over her. I don't know what he's doing now or if he's seeing someone, ignorance is bliss in this case for me.

 

Sorry to hear it didn't work out LSgirl. I was wondering if you would pop up again.

[BewitchedandBothered]

oh geez, i feel like ours is a little similar. my ex was with his ex-fiancee for 8 years but she cheated on him with a woman and moved across the country with her new girlfriend. We got into a relationship months after their breakup and I feel like I had to endure all the pain he was going through. I had to listen to it, I felt inferior to her and don't know why I put up with it for over a year. Finally I had to walk away from the relationship when he said he didn't see me long-term. He never got over her. I don't know what he's doing now or if he's seeing someone, ignorance is bliss in this case for me.

 

My ex's ex wife stayed with him for 18 years; she had a son; told me she loved him and tried to make it work, but because of his abuse, she left 3 times before saying she had had enough. He claims she cheated with a woman; according to her, this is not the case. I believe her. A year after the divorce is when she started dating again and met another woman and fell in love. He never got over her. He kept talking about her, trashed her, but compared me to her, too. She could do this, and that, had a career, made money, etc. but later he would say she is a psycho.

 

He called me by her name many times and it hurt like I cannot describe. He would act like he didn't realize he did that, but 6 times? Come on. He has a 5 x 10 picture of her on his book case with word "dyke" written across her forehead in black marker. He saved it. Also showed me a whole trunk of pictures of her from their years together. He would blame his treatment of me on him still healing--yet in the beginning told me he was completely over her.

 

After reading about Borderline Personalities, it pushes me further into healing and this new woman can have him. Sadly he will break her heart the way he did me and the others in his past, and some who warned me. I agree with you that ignorance is bliss. Indifference is bliss, too. I don't even feel hate for this guy anymore.

[LSgirl]

Million to 1, yeah we broke up once but got back together as it seemed like he would be a different person. He wasn't an awful person, but he definitely had some issues from his past breakup he hadn't got over. So for 3 months I think I came back here saying things were working out and were great, but here I am now. Although this time it was for good and for the best. I still haven't made contact with him for over a month since the breakup. We're just strangers now....but I feel relieved now.

 

B&B, wow same thing here! He told me how she was crazy, and even called her a dyke on his facebook. I realize now that even when you're talking badly about an ex, that still means you're not over her. I was led to believe that he was over it, but after a year, I couldn't be blind to it anymore. I was in denial for a bit, even blindly optimistic, but it just took a blow to my self-esteem. I had to pick up whatever self-respect I had left and walk away. I'm glad I did, although it still hurts when I think of him, I know I wasn't the one for him. I hope he never contacts me, and he's been good about that. I do feel that he's not ready to be with anyone and whoever he dates next will maybe feel it less than I did, but she's in for some real heartbreak. This relationship was the biggest emotional rollercoaster I've ever been in, never again will I ignore these red flags...

[cflowers32]

You know BB, I can tell when I read your posts that you are holding on to a lot of anger. I really don't blame you, I know I'm going to go there too, but at the same time, I am also doing everything in my power to EMPOWER myself.

 

I can't wait to go hit the gym, it's downtown by the way too, by the water, where all the people are hanging and doing their thing, it's near my house, and I happen to love going there.

 

My friends have validated me in letting me know that they appreciate me because of how I have been towards them, it makes me feel better about myself because right now, I could feel a lot worse and think "I wasn't good enough for him, boo hoo, boo hoo....." He's not worth, but I AM!!! So are you!!!

 

You'd probably be the first one to tell me "Caitlin, you're stupid if you think he's ever coming back", and again, this is my journey, but I hope he does. I do love him, he's being an idiot, and I hope he comes back before the window I have for him is gone.

 

IN ANY CASE, I also accept that he may not be coming back, so I'm still going to get up everyday and do me. I deserve to be happy, and so I will rediscover my friends, I will be completely selfish and make every part of my day, me, me, me!!! Because with him being gone I can do that.

 

I feel sad, but I feel better than I did yesterday, and the day before that.

 

You are a prize, I think we are all a prize. Relationships are so, so, so hard, but don't let that pull you to the ground. Be better than that, and keep your eye on the prize, that's you!!

[BewitchedandBothered]

Million to 1, yeah we broke up once but got back together as it seemed like he would be a different person. He wasn't an awful person, but he definitely had some issues from his past breakup he hadn't got over. So for 3 months I think I came back here saying things were working out and were great, but here I am now. Although this time it was for good and for the best. I still haven't made contact with him for over a month since the breakup. We're just strangers now....but I feel relieved now.

 

B&B, wow same thing here! He told me how she was crazy, and even called her a dyke on his facebook. I realize now that even when you're talking badly about an ex, that still means you're not over her. I was led to believe that he was over it, but after a year, I couldn't be blind to it anymore. I was in denial for a bit, even blindly optimistic, but it just took a blow to my self-esteem. I had to pick up whatever self-respect I had left and walk away. I'm glad I did, although it still hurts when I think of him, I know I wasn't the one for him. I hope he never contacts me, and he's been good about that. I do feel that he's not ready to be with anyone and whoever he dates next will maybe feel it less than I did, but she's in for some real heartbreak. This relationship was the biggest emotional rollercoaster I've ever been in, never again will I ignore these red flags...

 

You are so strong for having gotten through this and stronger still for having given it another go. I am glad you are feeling relieved=--that is where I am now. Relieved. One thing I have learned is if a fellow trashes his ex's, that in itself is a red flag. A decent guy would simply say "it didn't work out between us", but when he is saying 'she is a psycho, evil and sinister", we have a problemo. I am now all of these things according to him. And to this day, roughly 18 months later, he is still talking about me and asking if people on FB are still friends with me and if so, why, etc. It's hurtful, but if he is truly BPD, he can't help it; he really fits the description; in my gut, I feel he has that condition. Did you feel that in your ex as well?

[TaraMaiden]

Bewitched I am AWESOME at analyzing other people. Not so awesome when it comes to analyzing myself.

 

QFT

 

QFT

 

QFT

 

there's a whole club, right?

[BewitchedandBothered]

You know BB, I can tell when I read your posts that you are holding on to a lot of anger. I really don't blame you, I know I'm going to go there too, but at the same time, I am also doing everything in my power to EMPOWER myself.

 

I can't wait to go hit the gym, it's downtown by the way too, by the water, where all the people are hanging and doing their thing, it's near my house, and I happen to love going there.

 

My friends have validated me in letting me know that they appreciate me because of how I have been towards them, it makes me feel better about myself because right now, I could feel a lot worse and think "I wasn't good enough for him, boo hoo, boo hoo....." He's not worth, but I AM!!! So are you!!!

 

You'd probably be the first one to tell me "Caitlin, you're stupid if you think he's ever coming back", and again, this is my journey, but I hope he does. I do love him, he's being an idiot, and I hope he comes back before the window I have for him is gone.

 

IN ANY CASE, I also accept that he may not be coming back, so I'm still going to get up everyday and do me. I deserve to be happy, and so I will rediscover my friends, I will be completely selfish and make every part of my day, me, me, me!!! Because with him being gone I can do that.

 

I feel sad, but I feel better than I did yesterday, and the day before that.

 

You are a prize, I think we are all a prize. Relationships are so, so, so hard, but don't let that pull you to the ground. Be better than that, and keep your eye on the prize, that's you!!

 

Thank you for that:) Yes, I was angry for a very long, long time. Now it's tapering off because it was wearing me out. I am more relieved now and don't have any feelings for him. He is a stranger to me and I am beginning to feel that he always was. I do harbor some anger toward myself for falling for him and his games. I need to forgive myself and move on. But...Now it's about curiosity and wondering if he has Borderline Personality Disorder. He fits all the criteria except harming himself. I do fear he could one day harm someone else, though--it's a creepy feeling I have had. I am afraid of him. If something sets him off, he knows where I live.

 

The new girl can keep him occupied, I guess, but if he is BPD, she is in for it and it pains me knowing there is not a damn thing I can do to save her. Someone I didn't know warned me on Facebook, but I didn't believe her and my ex trashed her saying she is on drugs/a liar, what does she know. He later threatened her and insisted I block her--he had me convinced. Others warned me, too, but I didn't listen.

 

You are right I am the prize; as I said in the beginning of this thread, he is her booby prize;) LOL. And also, knowing he may have a condition, it makes it easy to forgive and move on---if he has it, he can't help what he does...Each day it gets easier. I don't even miss the guy he pretended to be anymore.

[BewitchedandBothered]

PS; the very fact that he is normally extremely private and intentionally put his photos with his new g/f on a trip for the public to see is very telling--I know that was an 'in your face' to the ex wife who is recently engaged. I just know it.

[cflowers32]

PS; the very fact that he is normally extremely private and intentionally put his photos with his new g/f on a trip for the public to see is very telling--I know that was an 'in your face' to the ex wife who is recently engaged. I just know it.

 

Ugh!!! And I can see why you're so angry, someone like him just doesn't even give a sh*t it sounds like and the worse is that he is doing that, and you're right, probably to be a douche.

 

Mine was upset that I unfriended him from FB, but why do I want him on there??? I'm too busy sharing with my friends, letting them know when I'm having a bad morning, blah, blah, blah... I don't want to share that with him, but I guess, at least he cared. Meh.

 

One of my favorite sayings (applies to crap-bag X husband), "what doesn't come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse", she'll find out, he'll show his true colors, and hopefully you'll get a little revenge should she dump him on his face.

[BewitchedandBothered]

Ugh!!! And I can see why you're so angry, someone like him just doesn't even give a sh*t it sounds like and the worse is that he is doing that, and you're right, probably to be a douche.

 

Mine was upset that I unfriended him from FB, but why do I want him on there??? I'm too busy sharing with my friends, letting them know when I'm having a bad morning, blah, blah, blah... I don't want to share that with him, but I guess, at least he cared. Meh.

 

One of my favorite sayings (applies to crap-bag X husband), "what doesn't come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse", she'll find out, he'll show his true colors, and hopefully you'll get a little revenge should she dump him on his face.

 

Oh yes, I was extremely angry; he lured me in, I fell for it, and he clearly didn't care about me. He was still not over his ex wife and if the truth be known, I don't think he will ever be over her. I do wonder if the new girl will see it.

 

Last night I did some heavy reading about Borderline Personality Disorder and it all made sense. I didn't feel that angry anymore--because if he has this, he cannot help it. The anger I feel now is more toward me for being such a schmuck and falling for him--even though there were some red flags I chose to ignore in the beginning. He was just so damned charming. And sadly very unattractive, but his fake personality made him into a Prince Charming.

 

Before he blocked me, I did delete him and he was so very upset; not sure why since he blocked me after I accepted his friend request again. It became an immature game. I didn't want to play anymore. But the BPD makes so much sense and fits him completely. It helps me to move on, but there is always that little nagging thing that says...I HOPE THE NEW GIRL SEES WHAT I SAW AND WHAT HIS EX'S SAW!!!!!!

[cflowers32]

Oh, and in regards to my X-husband (this is where you and I can relate), I bought the book "The Sociopath Next Door" after our divorce. I used to tell him all the time that he had anti-social behaviors. HE LIED ALL OF THE TIME, and he like, LITERALLY, did not care about anything, he just didn't. It was horrible being with someone that... well, it was like no one was really in there, and I was there for just the sex, cleaning, working, helping with the bills, and just nothing from him, and like you, I got sucked into his BS because he was such a good liar. Sad that I wasted 8 years with him.

 

I was angry at myself for being so naive (putting it mildly, more like stupid), for believing him for so long. I took over three years off from relationships because of that disaster of a relationship.

 

And he's still an ass. Like I had mentioned before, once I started dating my current X, he was beyond his normal horrible self, and we have a son together so hence why I have to deal with him. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

 

And you know, he's wanted to get back together with me so many times... LMFAO!!!!

[BewitchedandBothered]

Oh, and in regards to my X-husband (this is where you and I can relate), I bought the book "The Sociopath Next Door" after our divorce. I used to tell him all the time that he had anti-social behaviors. HE LIED ALL OF THE TIME, and he like, LITERALLY, did not care about anything, he just didn't. It was horrible being with someone that... well, it was like no one was really in there, and I was there for just the sex, cleaning, working, helping with the bills, and just nothing from him, and like you, I got sucked into his BS because he was such a good liar. Sad that I wasted 8 years with him.

 

I was angry at myself for being so naive (putting it mildly, more like stupid), for believing him for so long. I took over three years off from relationships because of that disaster of a relationship.

 

And he's still an ass. Like I had mentioned before, once I started dating my current X, he was beyond his normal horrible self, and we have a son together so hence why I have to deal with him. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

 

And you know, he's wanted to get back together with me so many times... LMFAO!!!!

 

Because you are what he is familiar with and probably wanted to toy with you again. People like that are sick====I did tell my ex I thought he had issues and needed help, but he turned the tables and called me a psycho, evil and too many names not worth mentioning. Everything he did, he turned it all onto me; projecting. Did your ex husband do that as well? He would do the very thing to me that someone did to him and would blame me for it. Glad you got away from that toxic situation.

[cflowers32]

Because you are what he is familiar with and probably wanted to toy with you again. People like that are sick====I did tell my ex I thought he had issues and needed help, but he turned the tables and called me a psycho, evil and too many names not worth mentioning. Everything he did, he turned it all onto me; projecting. Did your ex husband do that as well? He would do the very thing to me that someone did to him and would blame me for it. Glad you got away from that toxic situation.

 

Not so much, he just did not believe there was anything wrong with him (typical narcissist) and he just lied, and lied, and lied, and he was worthless. I felt crazy a lot of the time, and I get why. I am so glad I am no longer with him either, it would have never gone any where.

 

It's actually so pathetic when he does suggest we get together, because on the inside I'm screaming "ARE YOU F-ING SERIOUS, YOU LOSER!!!! I HATE YOU, YOU ARE DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!" and I stay so calm. I hate him.