I ended things, I believe she hurt me purposely. Should I be mad?

[Am313]

Long story short, my ex hurt me very badly on purpose.

 

She broke up with me in February but we got back together in March. We only dated for four months but our chemistry was incredible. She told me she needed me in her life, that she loves me, that I make her want to be a better person, etc. Things were going well until she asked for space again. I didn't let it bother me and apparently that made her change her tune. *She asked me to come over and I did. She said Im still mad at yoy but Im just being cordial.*In my own mind, I could see that this wasn't good. That something relatively small could happen and she would let her emotions get the best of her. So I left that night and wrote a break up letter. I was very nice about it, and even told her how much I love her and how important she is to me, but that her emotions get the best of her and that she needs to figure her brain out, and that it's hurting me to have to deal with her behavior.*

 

I gave myself space for two days while she kept texting. I gave in and met up with her. Stayed the night at her house and in the morning she asked me what my problem was. Simple: that she was going to break my heart.*

 

Well, that night she asked me to hang out with her at the bar. When she arrived, she ignored me for most of the night. She flirted with other guys in front of me, even some dude she has a history with. Some guy kept hitting on her and she bought him a shot, in front of me. Like a dumbass, I stayed and tried to keep my cool, but it was written all over my face. She then has the nerve to text that I'm being jealous and that I have " no idea the **** you put me through".*

 

She leaves and makes a point to stare at me when she walks out. I go to her house and she tells me she's going to the bathroom and then texts me "you can't stay here anymore, night". She thought I left. I didn't.

 

A few minutes later she comes out and I confront her as she's trying to leave for her sisters house. I told her that she'll never meet another man as good as me. She tries to get into her friends car, but I pulled the door open and told her that she planned all this out, to break my heart, and that she got exactly what she wanted.

 

The next day she called me, so I blocked her number. She kept calling, and she called me once today (I can see the calls that I've blocked).*

 

She hurt me so badly, I really feel devastated, and I don't know what to do.

 

It's worth mentioning that she told me a few days before that she could never hurt me. I can't believe she would do this the same day I told her that I was afraid she'd hurt me.

 

What's going on here? What do you all think? Thank you very, very much!

[CaliBabe]

Sounds like she is crying for attention, trying to get it from you and other guys (still in front of you, how horrible). Maybe because she is insecure. Either way, I think the best thing for you is to stay NC. You are still emotionally hurt and you need time for that to heal.

 

I think intentionally hurting someone is so callous. How could you intentionally hurt someone you LOVE? That's even messed up on a friend level.

 

I think she has some issues she needs to sort and only she can fix those. In the meantime, you do your thing and heal. Come back and post when you are feeling weak or want opinions, this forum is a great place.

[Am313]

Thanks Cali, I truly believe that you are right. I really want to heal from this. Right now, it's like everything was a lie, a game, and I was just along for the ride. The things this woman would tell me haunt me right now. She really made me feel loved and important, and the she does this.

 

There is one important part that I left out. The day after I dumped her I went out with two girls to the bar (it's a mutual hangout). One of them I have a history with and we both knew we were going home together. I HOPED my ex wouldn't show up. Unfortunately, she did a couple hours later. I gave her a hug, and when I saw her face I literally said to myself "don't you dare hurt her". I played one game of pool with her, gave her another hug and then left. She texted me and I invited her to come hang out with me, but she asked me to come back. So I did, and on top of that I stayed by her side to let her know that I'm with you, that I'm loyal to you (I know, it's kind of contradictory)

 

I think maybe she wanted revenge. I don't know.

Edited March 27, 2012 by Am313

[travelbug1996]

It sounds like both of you are playing games and you both have a right to be upset and hurt. Give it some space and time and maybe revisit the situation after your emotions have calmed down.

[Chi townD]

This relationship is too toxic. It's best to say NC. Heal and move on.