humanfly Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Hey guys, I've been reading your posts a lot for the last couple of days in order to prepare myself for the inevitable, and I must say it has really helped me. I've been with my girl for a little over a year, and we were deeply in love, but for the last several months she has been distancing herself from me slowly but surely. We used to live together, but than she moved out and contacted me less and less until I was the only one that would ever initiate contact. It got to the point where we would only see each other once or twice a week for a few hours, and she would text me maybe once every couple days, claiming she was busy, or tired. Haha, she used that second one a lot. I definitely got this strong gut feeling that she was cheating on me too. She would always change her story about her whereabouts and her excuses for not being able to go out, and she would hide her phone from my view when we were together. The thing is, even with all this, I've still been paying her bills because she has been unemployed for 5 months now. She asked me for a large sum of money last week, and i didn't give it to her immediately because I wanted to think on it first under the circumstances. Seemed reasonable to me, but just yesterday I confronted her about her treatment of me, and she turned it around and said that i promised her that if she ever needed help i would be there for her, and she said i let her down big time and that if this is the way I'm going to treat her, she doesn't want to be with me. I guess that finally made me snap, because this morning I changed my number, my email, and my netflix password. Full on no contact. It's been maybe 18 hours, and already it's getting tough, hehe. I know I'm doing the right thing here, but of course I can't help but question myself. She used to be such a sweet and loving and supportive person. She was my best friend, my soul mate, and she just turned into this poisonous, harmful force in my life seemingly overnight. It's all just very confusing, and I guess I'm a bit in shock. It really helps to get this all off my chest, even if it is just an online forum. Thanks for reading guys, and I deeply appreciate the support. There's a good thing going here.
ludovico Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I definitely got this strong gut feeling that she was cheating on me too. She would always change her story about her whereabouts and her excuses for not being able to go out, and she would hide her phone from my view when we were together. The thing is, even with all this, I've still been paying her bills because she has been unemployed for 5 months now. She asked me for a large sum of money last week, and i didn't give it to her immediately because I wanted to think on it first under the circumstances. Seemed reasonable to me, but just yesterday I confronted her about her treatment of me, and she turned it around and said that i promised her that if she ever needed help i would be there for her, and she said i let her down big time and that if this is the way I'm going to treat her, she doesn't want to be with me. always go with your gut my friend... i hate when people pull this garbage and turn it around like everything is your fault - so cowardly... ...this morning I changed my number, my email, and my netflix password. gotta admit i chuckled at this good to see you are being proactive in your approach to rid yourself of such a manipulative person... good luck my friend!
Author humanfly Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 so its been three days of NC now, and it's been ok for the most part so far. I do have my moments, like when I'm pulling onto my street at night and I'm sort of hoping deep down that she'll be waiting outside my house to say she's sorry and beg me to give her another chance. psh. some pipe dream. This girl is NOT the begging type, and she rarely looks back. She's gone for good, and i need to get used to it. I'm trying to adjust to that reality. Well, it's still way early in the game. Wish me luck guys!
Nohbody Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sounds like you are doing the right things. You are very probably better off without this person. At least you are in LA, lots of things to do and keep you distracted!
leannesagoodman Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Good luck humanfly! It's good to hear you're doing okay for the most part. It's inevitable that you'll have your moments - we all do;fluctuation is very normal. You're right in that this is early on in the game - but that means it's only going to get better overall from here on in. We're all here for you through it.
Author humanfly Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 Oh christ no, I wouldn't dream of it at this point. Ive cut off all contact from her. Although something strange happened yesterday. I was cleaning up my disastrously filthy room, and i stumbled upon a bunch of her stuff. Pay stubs, UPS envelopes, all with her name and my address, and her senior year school ID. Man, that set me back a step or two. As if that wasn't enough, I was stepping outside to toss this stuff out, and I saw her drive by my house! She has a friend that lives around the corner from me, but man, seriously? I had to go outside at that very moment? I tried to talk myself out of it, but to no avail. I walked over to the friends house and saw her parked in front. I walked up and she opened her door and I couldn't even say anything, I just held out her ID. I felt pretty lame. She asked me what I had been up to, and I just stammered something generic and noncommital, and I asked her what's going on and she said she's just been hanging with people, having a grand ol time it seemed. I wanted to say so many things to her. I wanted to tell her that she treated me like dog****, that i know she lied to me and has been cheating on me, but I didn't say much of anything. I couldn't. Seeing her again kind of destroyed me a little bit. The progress I had made feels pretty wrecked now. The thing is, she acted as if nothing had happened. I changed my number, and she didn't even act like she knew, like she hadn't tried calling or messaging me in the past week. She just said, text me later, i love you, and than we actually kissed. I mean, wow, weird right? In my mind we were already broken up, but she doesn't agree. She still thinks of me as her puppet I guess. I sure acted like it. I turned around and walked away in a haze of confusion. These mind games are too much for me. I'm not going to give her my new number though. I've decided that it's best to stay the course and ride this out. This girl is far too poisonous to let back into my life, much as I may want to right now. I miss her, the way she was, very much. But she's not that person anymore. I have to remember that. Thanks for the support guys. This forum is the only way for me to get things off my chest. I'd implode without it, hehe.
Frank13 Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 I've decided that it's best to stay the course and ride this out. This girl is far too poisonous to let back into my life, much as I may want to right now. I miss her, the way she was, very much. But she's not that person anymore. I have to remember that. Thanks for the support guys. This forum is the only way for me to get things off my chest. I'd implode without it, hehe. Good for you. You want her back but you know that is not for the best. Stick to your guns and NC. We are proud of you. 1
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