jeffrey777 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 So I met a girl online about 7 months ago. We took a fast liking to each other. Talking on the phone and text for 2 weeks before we met. Things started to get really difficult in our lives with my work (maybe getting laid off) and her financial situation. The stress caused fights as did our sleeping patterns (she likes light and silence) I need a fan and darkeness. Thru all of it I've tried to bite my toung and meet her halfway on resolutions to the issues that would come up. Things would usually come to a boiling point nea the time to go to bed. Her reaction is to say she doesnt want to talk about it anymore and go to bed. I like to talk things thru and put my mind at ease otherwise I'd never get to bed. I've tried to talk to her, reason with her, but I think at the core we really care about each other but just might not be compatable. Again this has been going on since month 2 and I thought we would be able to work thru it but there seems to just be this endless cycle of build-up to a boiling point only to have a big fight then wake up the next day and everything is fine. Now for the +1. I was at work and am friendly with everyone...Coworkers and customers. Enter 3 girls going on vacation. I'm friendly, funny but not flirty, just having fun at work makes the time go by alot quicker. They wanted to add me to facebook but I had already mentioned having a GF and said that wouldnt be a good idea since I wasnt looking to cause a problem. So being nice I gave one of them my email address. (they said they were going to write a good letter to my company) well about a week later I got an email from one of the girls, so we chatted there harmlessly stuff. Even mentioned my GF a few times. I never really wrote back right away and there were some 7-10 day breaks between me replying. She emailed me her phone number and said to call her sometime. I honeslty didnt know what to do so I didnt do anything. Now I get into the last huge fight with my GF and we break it off. So I emailed my +1 and said I was single now (cause I just knew she was interested after all those emails)...Then came my GF wanting me back but I started to not be convinced that we wouldnt be fighting like we had done sooo many time in the last 7 months. So now I'm not with either and I'm weighing everything out....I have my doubts about my GF because of our past (her defense is to pull away)... She even wanted to move in together later in the year and I'm scared to since I dont want to be in a bad situation if things dont work out. I'd like to give my +1 a chance but I'm scared to since I still have alot of feelings for my EX/GF....
veggirl Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Hey, you need to go NC with your ex. 7 mos in and already fighting from month 2? That is not a healthy relationship, there is nothing to salvage. You are just addicted to the drama with your ex--each fight, each low leads to a huge high when you make up. That is unhealthy and will never go anywhere good for you. Just forget her. See what happens with the other girl and learn to have stricter boundaries. Drama 2 months in should be a dealbreaker, you need to learn to walk away when things turn sour so early on. Just remember, drama does not equal passion. Lots of people mistake those things for one another. Learn to not be that person. 1
Author jeffrey777 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Thankyou soo much for responding! Yes your right...we had a long talk last night when I told her I cared for her but I just couldnt be her BF right now...I know people can change if you give them the space and time to think about things without shutting them out completely. I'm physically exhausted from all the Up's and Down's. I crave stability so you can only imagine how I've felt the last few months. She did have a string of very bad things happen to her and she did great handling it all. But she said I was her rock and that bothered me because I've felt like that before about someone else and I know that you have to be your own rock. You cant lean on someone your entire life and take out your stress on them in order to be OK. I'm not gonna go NC with her just because I do really care. I love her family and friends amoung other things. I know what its like to be forcefully shut out and it leaves nothing for the future. I've hated that in my own life. So i'm trying not to be an ogar. I am gonna give it a try with girl #2 who seems to be a much better match so far and picked me out in person (how often does that happen to a guy?)
Recommended Posts