DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I attended a formal banquet dinner with a few friends this past weekend there was drinks and dancing and also available men in which I had no interest in except there was this one man that caught my attention, he was handsome and I liked his personality. We laughed and talked for about 45 minutes until a friend of mines pulled me to side, she asked me what we were talking about and I told her; he told me that he was divorced with no children, is currently working as an engineer for Caltrans in California and looking to relocate to Nevada. She shared with me that he was not only a lier but that he is also a newly wed married to my xHusbands - xOW "Whaaaat"? Now you all know what ran past my mind although I never told my story about my life as a BS it was definitely a dramatic, heart breaking and just plain cold time in my life. Flash back began to run though my mind about how she would harass me, how she thought it was funny that my husband choose to hurt me and our kids just to be with her, how she didn't care that we were married, how she thought it was cute at thought that she might be able to "Take My Man"... Then I realized that I have the ability to hurt her just as she hurt me At the end of the night he found his way to me and asked me for my number... He explained that he wanted to get to know me better and if it was okay take me on a date. I smiled and replied "Go home to your wife, oh and tell her :my name: said hi"! Although it was tempting I just couldn't do it I'm so much better than that but it was satisfying to know that karma got my back 2
bosunmate Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I think that a revenge affair would only complicate things more, glad you used common sense unlike your husband...
Author DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I think that a revenge affair would only complicate things more, glad you used common sense unlike your husband... exHusband... His cheating a** is no longer my problem!!! I could not see myself playing 2nd to her anyhow she's getting a taste of her own medicine that's why it's best to treat people the way you would want to be treated so I guess she living her life's story in reversed scene... Is it wrong of me to smile because of that?
nofool4u Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Then I realized that I have the ability to hurt her just as she hurt me And she'd deserve it. It would have been sweet, no? But YOU deserve not to be lumped in the same category as her. Last thing you need is to act like a C and bed him down, even though it would be in revenge to her. You deserve better than to lower yourself to that. You are better than her.
2long Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You deserve better than to lower yourself to that. You are better than her. AND him!! -ol' 2long 2
Author DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 And she'd deserve it. It would have been sweet, no? But YOU deserve not to be lumped in the same category as her. Last thing you need is to act like a C and bed him down, even though it would be in revenge to her. You deserve better than to lower yourself to that. You are better than her. You said it best... I would have loved to but I have to much dignity!
SandieBeach Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I am still in the unforgiving stage these days, and often think how I would love for my H's OW to find someone she can be happy with, spend years with that man, and experience what I experienced with their cheating. In other words, I wish her my happiness and my pain... Good for you, though - classy exit!
Author DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 AND him!! -ol' 2long Agreed... See I'm a bitch. No I would NOT have an affair but is have to do something. I would have said straight out meet me at the hotel xyz lobby tomorrow night at 730. Wear a red rose. Then I'd send her a note (cheap flowers delivery so the shop writes on the card) asking her to do the same but 5 min earlier. Turn up and watch her squirm. Ok ok I am evil. In reality I'd have done what you did. Hehe... That would have been a good cold harsh reality to her (well deserved)... But she will have her day!
Author DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I am still in the unforgiving stage these days, and often think how I would love for my H's OW to find someone she can be happy with, spend years with that man, and experience what I experienced with their cheating. In other words, I wish her my happiness and my pain... Good for you, though - classy exit! Sandie, Thank you... If this would have happened 5 years ago I know I would have... I wanted her to feel my heart break too and I'm glad that she is or will finally get to experience what it like to be the BS
Spark1111 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 OMG! This is a common fantasy. For the longest time I wanted to bump into her to just gauge a reaction, a response, an acknowledgement of my existence. But you handled it very well. My only caveat: she may not have cared or exhibited the same pain you did. My fOW was bitter over the betrayal by her xH who married his last AP: a younger, more successful woman....and they seemingly are living happily ever after. (Ouch!) When I finally spoke to her 2 years after dday, I told her I only had one question: How did you do to me the very thing that had been done to you? Woman to woman, I could never wrap my head around it. You alone knew the pain of that betrayal. She started screaming. Some people never learn, grow, introspect, or take ownership of their behavior. They are always right, and everyone else is wrong. Glad you did what you did. Always take the high road.
2long Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 OMG! This is a common fantasy. For the longest time I wanted to bump into her to just gauge a reaction, a response, an acknowledgement of my existence. But you handled it very well. My only caveat: she may not have cared or exhibited the same pain you did. My fOW was bitter over the betrayal by her xH who married his last AP: a younger, more successful woman....and they seemingly are living happily ever after. (Ouch!) When I finally spoke to her 2 years after dday, I told her I only had one question: How did you do to me the very thing that had been done to you? Woman to woman, I could never wrap my head around it. You alone knew the pain of that betrayal. She started screaming. Some people never learn, grow, introspect, or take ownership of their behavior. They are always right, and everyone else is wrong. Glad you did what you did. Always take the high road. Excellent point. Fantasies like this one may not play out in reality like we'd expect, especially if we're projecting visions of personal integrity and senses of right and wrong on2 people behaving so badly - they might just be despicable people! LOL. -ol' 2long
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