Awarth Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Hi everyone, so i have a question i would like to ask regarding GIGS.. so assuming g.i.g.s is true and really exist, so at the earlier stage, the ex will start to do alot of guilt tripping right? So after they have blow out all of their guilt, and they seem to be relieved abt dumping their other half, what will they generally be feeling after this stage? Happy? thinking they can finally be happy with another guy? My 5 yrs gf broke up wif me for another guy for almost 6mths nuw...we r both young and i tink she is thinking that the grass is greener on the other side..anyway, so for around 5 mths after the break up, she will be initiating contact wif me once every few weeks. During a number of ocassions, she will tell me how sorry she is for dumping me, and wat a great guy i am..she even told me a few times how she cry when she missed me at night. So lately, i found out from one of my ex's fren that my ex has been telling everyone that she is very happy with the new guy and that she feel in love again. So i am thinking that maybe she is now at e stage where she dont feel guilty anymore rite? So what's nxt? wats e nxt stage? Thks everyone!
Philosoraptor Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 If you live your life expectant that this person will come back you will surely delay your healing. You would be best off taking care of yourself right now and working on your healing, not worried about what she may or may not be thinking. The truth is that it doesn't matter where she is or what she is doing. You need to live for yourself and let life happen as it will. If she comes back and you both have worked on your issues, then great... maybe you could try again. But you can't let the fact that some people get back with their ex make you put your life on hold. Stop obsessing over this person. What have you done for you? Have you dated? Went on any adventures? Lived it up since she left? Have you considered that she left for a reason and has been confused and trying to relieve her guilt? Going through the stages of grief and such? That maybe she really is starting to feel a love spark with this person?
robkris8079 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 am I hearing this right? She left you for another guy, she is with the other guy and contacting you? If this is the case you need to raise your standards, bring up your self esteem and tell yourself that you are worth more and deserve better then someone like this. Leave this one be, go out and find something totally new and enjoy it. I actually envy some of you that know the ex left for another man. I have a feeling mine started to get feelings for someone else but no concrete evidence and since I don't check up on her now I would have no clue. Due to past relationships I have found it easier to get over someone that I know for a fact left for someone else. This is just one thing I don't tolerate. 1
Author Awarth Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 If you live your life expectant that this person will come back you will surely delay your healing. You would be best off taking care of yourself right now and working on your healing, not worried about what she may or may not be thinking. The truth is that it doesn't matter where she is or what she is doing. You need to live for yourself and let life happen as it will. If she comes back and you both have worked on your issues, then great... maybe you could try again. But you can't let the fact that some people get back with their ex make you put your life on hold. Stop obsessing over this person. What have you done for you? Have you dated? Went on any adventures? Lived it up since she left? Have you considered that she left for a reason and has been confused and trying to relieve her guilt? Going through the stages of grief and such? That maybe she really is starting to feel a love spark with this person? i think i may have sound quite obsessed in my post? haha, actually i have already accepted the fact that she is gone for good...i still love her, but i acknowledge the fact that she already left me..so reluctant as it is, i have let her go.. in the months after break up, i have been doing some healing..taking up a new part time job after my classes, take up old and new hobbies, and of course, went out with dates with a few girls..lol, funny thing is, i used to think that asking a girl out will be so difficult, but somehow after the breakup, some girls are actually asking me out instead...lol..though none of them i am feeling the spark.. so, anyway, thanks for the advice! i know i am in process of moving on, but i am just curious about wat my ex is thinking nuw..lol..i have spent 5 yrs of my life with this person..i tink it is normal to still be thinking of her.. =)
robkris8079 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 totally normal to be thinking of your ex after 5 years together. I know I will have thoughts of her for many many more years.
Fitz Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) Having GIGS does NOT mean that your ex is going to change her mind and automatically think positively about you. (or come running back) How she behaves with GIGS will depend on what she finds: If she actually does find GREENER GRASS then she will not think about you all that much. And she will definitely not come running back. So if she decides that her current man is richer, cuter, more fun, sexier etc. then the Grass is greener and that's it. Game over. BUT if she does NOT find greener grass then she will at least consider getting back with you. For this to happen, the new guy has to be BROWN GRASS: he's sexually incompatible, not as attractive, has less money, duller personality, etc. Remember, GIGS does NOT mean she will come back to you! It simply means that over time (sometimes even years) the person who has the greenest grass might be able to keep the girl (or boy) in the long run. Edited March 27, 2012 by Fitz
gibson Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) Go read my latest post in my G.I.G.S. thread. Click Here I think it will answer some of your questions. Edited March 27, 2012 by gibson
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