Author Kaotic Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Thanks for the honest feedback. One of the first things out of his mouth was that there was no one else because he knew I'd ask. I don't know if he was lying. I'd like to believe he was being sincere but who knows. Part of me things he got a case of GIGS. When he was in NYC he met up with a close female friend of his and I wasn't worried because he even asked if I had issues with that I I trusted him 100% so I had no problems with him catchin up with her. I don't think anything happened, I really don't. But I have a feeling that it might have triggered some GIGS in him.
volkl1996 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 My ex went to Europe for 2 weeks for work. Things seemed a lot different when she returned, and, 2 weeks later she announced she was done. Did she meet someone? No idea, I never asked nor do I care. My guess is she had a great time being "on her own" and realized she no longer wanted to be married. Knowing if, or if not, she met someone else had no value to me. I caution you to not dwell on or think about this. Why, right now, it's really not important; he has made his decsion and you should not try to influence him or convince him otherwise. It happened, accept it, take care of yourself. Repeat, take care of yourself. Rather, rinse and repeat over and over 1
budley12 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Thanks for the honest feedback. One of the first things out of his mouth was that there was no one else because he knew I'd ask. I don't know if he was lying. I'd like to believe he was being sincere but who knows. Part of me things he got a case of GIGS. When he was in NYC he met up with a close female friend of his and I wasn't worried because he even asked if I had issues with that I I trusted him 100% so I had no problems with him catchin up with her. I don't think anything happened, I really don't. But I have a feeling that it might have triggered some GIGS in him. My ex also said there wasn't anyone else. Then I found out the person he is dating now visited him in NYC over winter break... Sounds very similar. 1
Author Kaotic Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Thanks for the advice everyone! It really helps to get these words from people who are in a similar boat. It's one thing to hear it from my best friend who is an amazing relationship, or another friend who couldn't have a serious relationship to save his life, etc. 1
CaliBabe Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Yes, I find it very comforting to have other people who relate as well. Those who are happy in relationships can't relate to the same pain. I really am grateful for all the forum members here. It's amazing how uplifting it is to have someone who can relate and care. 1
blindesided Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I'm having a rough morning. Been at work for an hour and can hardly stop thinking about him. Mornings are the hardest for me :-( its hard to keep myself preoccupied and to keep my thoughts from wondering at this time every day. Does anyone else experience that at work? What hurts the most is the lack of the Morning routine that we had together and I catch myself thinking, "oh he's probably wakin up right now" and stuff like that :-/ I think I knew that today was going to be hard since last night. I spent 4 hours reorganizing my bedroom and bathroom and came across so many things that he gave to me, that he reminded me of, that we bought together and even two of his shirts. It was really hard to keep composed when I found one of those shirts....but I kept going and got everything organized and went to bed and I think some of the memories I avoided last night I can't avoid now :-( *sigh* Mornings are THE WORST for me. I too miss the routine. I have tried to get into a new routine - but there isnt much to change in the morning. I sleep ok at night but I dread waking up! I wish this would stop - the pain just comes crashing back in the morning. Some days are better than others at work & some days I cant concentrate on a thing - I feel exactly where you are coming from - it sucks!!! 1
volkl1996 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Weekend mornings, and weekends in general were the worst for me. During the work week I did better. Thus why I stated try to get busy. Try to make plans ahead of time for every weekend. Don't allow yourself to wake up and think "OK, what now, what do I do today". Join some MeetUps, make plans with family, friends, go for a walk, join a gym, find a new hobby, a new interest, etc. 1
Author Kaotic Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 One of the worst things is that I can't concentrate on homework because it forces me to be alone with my thoughts for a long time and that is not the way to go haha :-/ Volkl, you have a lot of great suggestions and thas exactly what I've been doing
mike588 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I agree with others about there being someone else...there usually is. I'm 42 and have been dumped several times and EVERY TIME there was someone else. They just want to let you down easy...for you to find out later after you have broken up so they don't have to face you or explain. My ex. told me several times that there wasn't anyone else....she just needed time to think...to be alone. Well there was someone else...her ex.
Author Kaotic Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I think part of me would feel better if there was someone else (because its a REAL reason) but also far worse Sucks either way haha
immitable Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I think part of me would feel better if there was someone else (because its a REAL reason) but also far worse Sucks either way haha Sorry about your breakup, the real reason doesn't matter and you are going to get there in time but it takes time. I know it is hard but try not to dwell too much on what ifs and why it happened. You are going to get a new prospective on life through this breakup so it is very important to focus on yourself. By saying that I mean go easy on yourself, treat yourself something nice, you deserved it, focus on your goals and things you always wished but never could do, you'll see the power is amazing, but give it time and everything is going to be ok. Cheers! 2
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