Onlyjonley Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. Aside from a few minor issues (that we've talked and worked through), we've had a great relationship and I definitely see a future with him. We haven't talked about marriage yet. We've talked about the general idea of marriage .. in the sense that we both definitely want to be married eventually. But we haven't talked about marrying one another yet. My boyfriend can be incredibly shy about "the next step". He was almost too shy to ask me out in the first place -- I had to suggest hanging out. And I initiated the "define the relationship" talk. He is just very reserved when it comes to those types of things. But I feel like he has hinted at marriage more so in the last couple of months. He has asked me how I'd feel about getting proposed to in this way and that way. And he has asked about ring shopping. "Is it pretty common for the couple to go shopping for rings beforehand? Or would you rather be totally surprised?" He also slipped up one day. I said that I was going to decorate my future house like crazy for every holiday, and he was like "No way ... not in my house you won't." Then he got embarrassed and changed the subject real quick. Are these signs that he is tossing the idea of marriage around in his head? Or am I looking into things too much? I'd like to bring it up -- I just don't want it to be too soon and I don't want to freak him out. And if I waited on him to bring it up ..... I could be waiting years!
make me believe Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Yes.. those seem like pretty good signs. I would bring it up in a general way again, but ask more questions & get more info from him. You know he sees himself married eventually which is good, but you can ask him things like how long he thinks a couple should date before getting engaged, how long the engagement should last, and you should DEFINITELY start some conversations about the deeper issues like money, sex, kids, and other important areas of compatability. 10 months doesn't seem too soon to me, depending on your age and what your relationship is like. My H and I were talking about marriage in general terms from the very beginning (the convos it seems like you & your BF have had), and we started talking about us specifically getting married after just a few months. I'd never done that with anybody though.. if you're the type of person to get super excited early on & think every guy you date is "the one" then you should take it slowly. But it sounds like it's definitely on your BFs mind!
Author Onlyjonley Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 We actually do talk about kids and finances a lot already. We talk about where we'd like to end up financially and how to be more responsible financially (paying off credit cards, saving etc.). We also talk about parenting sometimes. Such as .. "Well when I'm a parent, I'm going to do this or that." We talk about what we'd like to provide for our future children one day. And I'm excited to say we are incredibly compatible in both of those areas. And though we talk about this stuff, we never refer to it as "we" or "us". We also have been talking about houses a lot lately. He has mentioned he wants to get a house sometime in the near future and be done with the whole roommate thing (he lives with 2 of his friends now.) But we talk a lot about what we'd like our future house to be like. Maybe that's a good sign as well? I'm nervous to bring it up, but I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the encouraging words!
FitChick Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 you should DEFINITELY start some conversations about the deeper issues like money, sex, kids, and other important areas of compatability. It's amazing how many people never discuss those things before they get married, just assuming their spouse agrees with them or, if they don't, will change their mind later. Mistake!
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