Nevergivingup Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Hey guys, so I'll give you a basic run down of what has happened so far! I am 17 years old and just graduated from school in 2011 and started talking to this girl from my school who is currently in year 12. I asked if she wanted to go to the Hunger Games midnight premiere and she said yes as two of our friends were already going so said that we could tag along with them. So we got seats in the cinemas before our friends arrived and we chatted which was awesome. Anyways, the night went well and I dropped her home and I thought everything went really awesome!About a day or two later, I texted her and we sent about 10 messages each to each other, and then I asked what she was doing the following Thursday. It took her about 15 minutes to reply which was odd as she was replying quite quickly previously, but when she did she said, " Sorry, I was in the shower I think I have work that night whyy?" So I replied, "Ohh, I want to take you out how about Saturday night?" and then she did not reply.The next day I texted her saying, "I hope I didn't make things awkward for you! If you don't want to go out, which I'm assuming by your lack of a response from my text, that's fine! I hope you did well with your test." She didn't reply to that either. That night, I stupidly drunk called her and I don't remember anything I said, but I asked her what I said and she said we sorted things out. I don't think she meant we organised a date, instead that we'd stick to friends. I don't want to just be friends with her. Help me out, she's so beautiful and I have such a good time when I'm with her. If you've ever been turned down by a girl, what have you done to get her to eventually say yes. I understand these things take time, but anything you could do to help me out would be perfect. And please don't say, let her go, plenty of fish in the sea, cos I want this fish! Help me out please
SJC2008 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Well my fist gf was at 17 and I thought she was the one. That being said it was the first time I felt strongly for someone in my life and it was total euphoria so I know the feeling. I don't want to rain on your parade but let's take it one step at a time. You are young and should not even be thinking about the one now as I did. Just have fun that's all! I'd say make 3 attempts to show interest/ask her out and leave it alone after that. Also, from my limited exp calling girls out (I got into a bad habit and will stop) like you did telling her about her lack of response usually doesn't work. I hope she likes you and things work out but do not make the mistake I did and get overly hurt (she was MEAN) and let it get you down because it will put you at a disadvantage and make you insecure about women like it did to me. Good luck!!!
Professor X Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I wonder if I was dumb as you are at the age of 17. Probably was. 1
Teal Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 It would be best to respect her wishes. She's spent some time with you and clearly doesn't think you're what she's looking for. Not only is it going to waste a lot of your time and energy to try to change her mind, but it might make her uncomfortable to have someone she said "no" to pressuring her for a "yes."
insertnamehere Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 The important thing is to lay off the pressure. The number one thing a man can do for a woman is to provide her a safe emotional place. Pressure undermines that badly. Is she "The One"? Probably not. Why? Because there is not such thing as The One. Think how ****ed up that would be in the real world! Seven billion people on this planet. Only one of them is The One for You?! What if The One for You is presently herding yaks on the high plains of Tibet? That would be a real **** deal. It's cute and it's fun to buy into these relationship myths. But, there's a real world. And to be deadly blunt, you're not a man in full until you live in the real world. You're not a man in full until you realize there is no "The One for Me' out there. There are lots of wonderful women in this world. You'll be getting to know some of them over these coming years. Keep the cuteness of your romantic notions, but temper them with the enough understanding to live in the real world. No one should suffer the pressure of having to be "The One". It's not fair. And from the standpoint of what it takes to love and keep a woman, it does serious damage to the one thing you have to give her to make anything work: a safe, non-judgmental emotional place where she can be herself. No woman can live up to being The One. So, don't ask her to. It's not fair. 2
CarrieT Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 All I saw was that a 17 year old was drunk. I know that teenagers have access to alcohol and all that but it still pisses me off... You screwed up, kid. She is not "your one." Wait a few years - like 10 or 15 - and you will meet The One. Hopefully you will be sober.
volkl1996 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Wow, I really wish I could reply with some helpful and insighful comments, I can't, you are 17, one date, she is not interested, move on...guess it's that simple. Sorry
Chs Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 All I saw was that a 17 year old was drunk. I know that teenagers have access to alcohol and all that but it still pisses me off... You screwed up, kid. She is not "your one." Wait a few years - like 10 or 15 - and you will meet The One. Hopefully you will be sober. Totally irrelevant, so let me piss you off a little more, i am 19 and started drinking when i was 13, totally legal too.
ASG Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 All I saw was that a 17 year old was drunk. I know that teenagers have access to alcohol and all that but it still pisses me off... You screwed up, kid. She is not "your one." Wait a few years - like 10 or 15 - and you will meet The One. Hopefully you will be sober. Legal drinking age in my country is 16. I was getting legally drunk at 17. We don't all live in a 21 or older drinking age country. As for the point in question... You're 17. You haven't even really dated this girl. YOu like her, sure, but that doesn't mean she's The One. Clearly she not even A one, as she doesn't seem to be interested. I say let it go and look elsewhere! There's plenty of fish in the sea! And at 17 they're not all married with kids, so you have plenty of chances!
DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Just be her friend is that is what she wishes... Maybe something will progress later maybe not that's just life!
KathyM Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 She's made it clear she's not interested. You have no other option but to respect that--otherwise you'll just come off as a pest if you continue to bother her, and that is not going to result in anything good. Sorry, but you're going to have to learn to take no for an answer and move on.
veggirl Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 OP, you really need to take a step back and gain some perspective. One group date and 10 text messages tells you she is "The One"? Come on now. You barely know this girl.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Dont be her friend, nothing will ever progress later. You may have had fun with her, but she didnt have fun with you. Whenever you text a woman and she doesnt reply at all, it means she isnt interested in you. Hurry up and find another woman to be your gf before you see this one with another guy and get hurt. BTW, the only way you can make her interested in you, now that you totally killed your chances by drunk dialing her, is by letting her see another girl all over you. It wont make her interested for long, but thats the only way. She already saw you puppy dogging after her, you are no challenge to her, she isnt going to want that.
CarrieT Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Legal drinking age in my country is 16. I was getting legally drunk at 17. We don't all live in a 21 or older drinking age country. Point taken. Apologies. Still, a drunk-dial is a drunk-dial and displays a lack of control...
ASG Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Point taken. Apologies. Still, a drunk-dial is a drunk-dial and displays a lack of control... Oh, definitely! Drunk people should not be allowed anywhere NEAR phones! And even more so if you don't even remember what you said during said drunk dialling incident!
DonVee Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Awe why not be friends? OP clearly stated that he didn't want to hear "let her go, plenty of fish in the sea", sooooo let him bump that drunk little head of his. Life's a lesson and OP will learn! So go ahead Nevergivingup, don't give up she will come around and you two can ride off on a white house and plan on getting married and have a bunch of cute little babies... 2
Author Nevergivingup Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 What I was really looking for was for someone who had been turned down by a girl but found a way to ask her out again and it had been successful, and if so how you did it. I know I screwed up by drunk calling her but I havent pester her, I haven't talked to her since the time she explained the drunk dial. Thanks
Teal Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Awe why not be friends? OP clearly stated that he didn't want to hear "let her go, plenty of fish in the sea", sooooo let him bump that drunk little head of his. Life's a lesson and OP will learn! So go ahead Nevergivingup, don't give up she will come around and you two can ride off on a white house and plan on getting married and have a bunch of cute little babies... In movies, it's cute and romantic. In real life, it's pushy and uncomfortable. 1
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