orion1010 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Anyone ever dated a county sheriff before? I was out with 30 of my co-workers last Thursday night and this county sheriff, I'll call him John Doe, was on duty. He asked for my number and now we have a "date" on Friday and he's going to watch me take a horseback riding lesson.. Then the following Friday night I'm doing a ride along with him to see what it's like to be a cop. Will be with him his entire shift pulling people over and being with him while he takes dispatch calls. A co worker that night told me cops are one to be abusive and jaded. He seems nice during all the texting we have been doing but would like to hear any input anyone has on dating a police officer. Also if you're a police officer, and want to put your 0.02 cents in please do.
dasein Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 What area are you in? If you were in my neck of the woods, I wouldn't advise it. Here they are exactly like the criminals, running the exact same kind of "Cousin Leroy" scams and crimes, only fat, stupid, inbred with bad haircuts and not nearly as interesting or entertaining as criminals are to hang out with. Both criminals, just one set of criminals are all Homer Simpson clones with a badge. I could never date a cop in my area, mostly due to the cringeworthy prospect of hanging out with cops, which won't be a problem as 99% of the female cops in my area are lesbians anyway. 2
OhHey Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You'll love the ride-along, I've done a few(not in the back seat BTW) lmao, but with my high school friend who became a state trooper. She let me drive the car(off duty) but I couldn't play with the lights though. All the cops I know are nice people and yes the pressure of the job or a bad night taking down a drunk that killed someone in a car wreck can have an effect, but I wouldn't listen to people that say cops are bad news to date. It wouldn't hurt anything to go on a date and ride-along...enjoy yourself.
OhHey Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 What area are you in? If you were in my neck of the woods, I wouldn't advise it. Here they are exactly like the criminals, running the exact same kind of "Cousin Leroy" scams and crimes, only fat, stupid, inbred with bad haircuts and not nearly as interesting or entertaining as criminals are to hang out with. Both criminals, just one set of criminals are all Homer Simpson clones with a badge. I could never date a cop in my area, mostly due to the cringeworthy prospect of hanging out with cops, which won't be a problem as 99% of the female cops in my area are lesbians anyway. Totally opposite in my area...All the cops here have strict standards in grooming and actions...extremely professional and uncorrupted. There could be exxceptions, but every work place has exceptions.
Author orion1010 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 What area are you in? If you were in my neck of the woods, I wouldn't advise it. Here they are exactly like the criminals, running the exact same kind of "Cousin Leroy" scams and crimes, only fat, stupid, inbred with bad haircuts and not nearly as interesting or entertaining as criminals are to hang out with. Both criminals, just one set of criminals are all Homer Simpson clones with a badge. I could never date a cop in my area, mostly due to the cringeworthy prospect of hanging out with cops, which won't be a problem as 99% of the female cops in my area are lesbians anyway. haha.. thanks for reply. Here is the thing, I'd learn alot about the cops in the area if I dated him. But, he's not the "hick" looking type. Has the military type haircut and is very clean cut. He did make the comment to undermind my competition's credibility b/c I'm up for a promotion. lol... He was prob joking, but I don't know him that well. Thanks for sharing your insight!
Author orion1010 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 You'll love the ride-along, I've done a few(not in the back seat BTW) lmao, but with my high school friend who became a state trooper. She let me drive the car(off duty) but I couldn't play with the lights though. All the cops I know are nice people and yes the pressure of the job or a bad night taking down a drunk that killed someone in a car wreck can have an effect, but I wouldn't listen to people that say cops are bad news to date. It wouldn't hurt anything to go on a date and ride-along...enjoy yourself. I'm SO looking forward to the ride along! It will be on a friday night so I hope I see some action!! I do plan on these couple interesting dates we have lined up. For one, they are exciting and for two, so far he seems to be a nice guy. BUT.. the stats on cops and relationships scare me. I never dated a cop but a guy I work with who was going a cop and did the training told me to be careful. Some, not all can be abusive and narcissists. I haven't had my own experience so just looking for inputs on what others think.
FrustratedStandards Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I think that's sexy! There is something bad ass about it, but bad ass in a good way. Lots of cops are "jaded" like how your co-worker said, but again this is just the stereotype. I say go on this date and see how it goes. You never know and you don't have anything to lose. Plus it's a nice connection to have
OhHey Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I'm SO looking forward to the ride along! It will be on a friday night so I hope I see some action!! I do plan on these couple interesting dates we have lined up. For one, they are exciting and for two, so far he seems to be a nice guy. BUT.. the stats on cops and relationships scare me. I never dated a cop but a guy I work with who was going a cop and did the training told me to be careful. Some, not all can be abusive and narcissists. I haven't had my own experience so just looking for inputs on what others think. Like I said it is a job with pressures that can be brutal. I'd expect some bad times, as they see so many things no one should have to see. Keeping your cool not to punch out a drunk that is calling you a fat, pig or that just ran over a 19 year old girl with his car, builds pressure. It's not a 9 to 5 job, it's prestigious and lots of valor involved. I'd approach this with him if there is a connection, tell him if the job can be left at the job and not brought home. If he says he can do it and you connect then give it a go, but I'd def bring this up to him from the start...If he reacts well and tries to talk to you of it then great...If he shrugs it off and gets defensive....then...I don't know. Anyways, enjoy the ride-along..... Nothing like going 55 MPH, getting a call and whipping around the street, being punched back into the seat as we speed out to the incident, lights a blazin!
OhHey Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 It is dumb to think that cops are so in there jobs that relationships do not work...Yes some of them do not, but you can't tell me all cops have bad relationships...I'm sure many many of them are happily married and the job stays at the job. Screw the stereotype
snug.bunny Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I've dated three. Two approached me and the other I was introduced through a mutual friend. A friend of mine is married to a former chief of police, and he is one of the sweetest/coolest guys I've ever come across. Unfortunately, there is a stereotype attached to the uniform, but the same can be said for other professions. Personally, I prefer to take into consideration someone's prior relationship history and how they are in the present day versus their current profession. 1
Star Gazer Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I've dated several sheriffs/cops. They all had very different temperaments, but they were all divorced and when discussing their ex-wives were big bundles of blame and finger pointing.
dasein Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) Would add that other areas of the country I've lived in or visited for extended periods probably wouldn't be as bad. Where I am now though, stereotypes all true. But you know the more I think about it, I don't want my tax dollars paying for cops taking girls on "ride alongs" for dates or part of courtship. That doesn't sit well with me on a couple of levels. Edited March 27, 2012 by dasein 1
EmpoweredWoman Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) There's nothing "bad ass" about a cop. Give me a badge, a gun, and the entire band of NYPD thugs who have my back , and Ill be the biggest bad ass in human history (If I'm not already it). The cops I know, including ones in my family, are always over-caffeinated and frantically chewing gum, as well as hard to read. Sometimes they forget to "turn it off" when they're around family and friends, and end up acting in comical (but they don't think so) hyper-masculine ways where their conversations start sounding like something people would write for a Wrestlemania backstory, Joe the cop in the wheelchair in Family Guy is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Don't be shocked if when you're banging him you hear YA YA YA YA YA GET SOME GET SOME GET SOME then realize its not even in you yet rofl The guy might also be normal, or just looking for a lay. Only you can possibly know. Edited March 27, 2012 by EmpoweredWoman
shayla Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Any time I think of dating cops I think of Drew Peterson, I know that isn't fair, but I can't help it.
RedRobin Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 A serious ex-BF of mine was a chief investigator. I've also gotten to know someone else in federal law enforcement and tended to have come across others in law enforcement for some of the community work I do. I can imagine it would be no diifferent than dating someone in the military... which I did when I was in my early 20's before I met my ex-H. My observation is that they tend to have a very strong sense of justice and pull towards community service (at least the ones I'm attracted to). These are the things that attract me to them. With any job that has alot of 'power', there will be the ones who don't manage it well. The biggest job risk, is yes, becoming jaded about humanity. When all you come across in your day-to-day work is the dregs of society, I suppose it must be very difficult not to be affected by it. I also think they tend to be somewhat emotionally unavailable and distant to all but the most seasoned observer. Of course, it is this very trait that they need to develop to do their job well and not become a total basket case with the things they witness. With my ex-BF (now friend), I learned his mannerisms and subtle 'tells' that showed me his inner workings...but it wasn't easy. That is probably the main reason we didn't last. I needed to be with someone who was a bit more open. But that's just me.
oldguy Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 (edited) My wife is not a cop per say, but she is a CSI & so I know lots of cops & my opinion s are, 1; there are good & bad ones, 2; I appreciate what they do but I wouldn't want to be one, 3; I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one 'nough said? btw, if he is patrolling a rural area the ride along will be more boring. Edited March 27, 2012 by oldguy
Ursa Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I think it's generally a bad idea to pigeonhole an individual due to their profession, as there are always exceptions to stereotype. Some are drawn to the law enforcement profession out of a genuine desire to help their fellow humans, others are drawn to it as a way to wield power. I would say in general that male cops tend to have a lot of testosterone, and cops often tend to be fairly black/white thinkers, without a lot of shades of subtlety. I suspect the majority of them do become jaded, over time, with everything that they see--however, jaded within reason isn't necessarily negative, that depends somewhat on you. If proximity to world-weariness will rub off your sunshine and turn YOU into a little ray of gloom then that's something to be wary of. For what it's worth, I've never dated a county sheriff but I did date a police detective on a major urban police force. He was jaded, but also very protective and seemingly thoughtful, and took me on some pretty interesting dates: shooting range, trip to the morgue, etc. I was a biology student at the time and so the trip to the morgue was more relevant and interesting to me than it might be to most other girls . However, he turned out to be married, so obviously I broke it off and took a negative view of his trustworthiness. I was also friends for a couple of years with a sheriff's deputy. He was a pretty awesome guy, a huge extrovert, he liked to blow off steam in his off hours and dance and drink and be very social, and he had a lot of interesting stories from his work. He was always very responsible about his partying and would administer drunk tests, making it a game but keeping a close eye on the drivers. I occasionally failed miserably but it didn't matter because I was cabbing it home anyway. We never dated because he was gay and I didn't have the necessary parts, but he was pretty sexy, kind, and seemed to handle his job pressures well. I had seen both men go out of their way to assist in handling disruptive situations, coming to a stranger's rescue even in their off hours, which was an attractive trait to me.
KathyM Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I think police officers have a lot of qualities that appeal to women--they're masculine, brave, edgy, and the uniform is a turn on, IMO. I'd say you should go for it. There may be some cases of men who let the power the uniform gives them to go to their head, and they are controlling types that don't make good partners, but you can't judge or stereotype everyone to be like that. Everyone is an individual, and there are a lot of good, caring and compassionate men out there who are police officers. Get to know the guy first before deciding which category he falls into. Some are power-hungry. Some have a sense of justice and want to make the world a safer place. Some like the danger or excitment. You really can't assume they all fit into a certain stereotype.
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