USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 So, I recently ended my long distance relationship with the older woman...and from the feedback I'd gotten from some earlier threads, it looks like I've got some personal issues to deal with and resolve before I start dating again... I recognize that it all stems from my deep-seeded self-esteem issues, but I'm not sure exactly how one goes about fixing them...do you just carry on with life, and then one day the switch magically goes off and you're cured...? Are you supposed to look for some sort of external validation to jump-start the confidence train so that your confidence comes from within? Do you hire an overpriced therapist to blow sunshine up your ass...? People often say that you need to "work on yourself" before you let someone in again, but what exactly does that mean to you...? How did you make yourself more "relationship-worthy"...?
Dust Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Maybe we need to climb a mountain or go survive deep in the jungle for a while. That might do it. Really though why didn't you just use that woman. I mean she would have enjoyed it more then you playing bf/gf with her. Did you trick yourself? Ever see a hot young girl who just turned 18. Maybe you should do the other end of the age spectrum... A real hot girl. I mean really give it to her. Tell her you just want her to be your personal slut or something really dirty. Maybe that would awaken you. I don't know maybe the quest thing is really what you need though. Something to open your mind. what are your thoughts.
FitChick Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I already told you. Lefkoe Method. Don't date anyone until you get back from Afghanistan. You'll likely be a very different person as a result.
jobaba Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 So, I recently ended my long distance relationship with the older woman...and from the feedback I'd gotten from some earlier threads, it looks like I've got some personal issues to deal with and resolve before I start dating again... I recognize that it all stems from my deep-seeded self-esteem issues, but I'm not sure exactly how one goes about fixing them...do you just carry on with life, and then one day the switch magically goes off and you're cured...? Are you supposed to look for some sort of external validation to jump-start the confidence train so that your confidence comes from within? Do you hire an overpriced therapist to blow sunshine up your ass...? People often say that you need to "work on yourself" before you let someone in again, but what exactly does that mean to you...? How did you make yourself more "relationship-worthy"...? I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You seem like a good grounded dude. Are you aware of how many shallow, petty people, attention cravers, and people with serious issues are able to be in relationships? Unless you're hung up on somebody, I'd say get right back into the game. But you know yourself better than I. 3
Million.to.1 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Great question USMCHokie! - I'm subscribing. How much does it cost these days to have some sunshine blown up ones arse? I would definitely go with this option if it worked. 1
Million.to.1 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I already told you. Lefkoe Method. I heard you talk about this before... can you please explain the basic principals of this to us FitChick?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Yeah I do think there's something wrong with you... yiu think ecvery relationship is headed for failure because you don't think you're good enough. Honestly if you do think you're the problem, then you probably are.
Million.to.1 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Yeah I do think there's something wrong with you... yiu think ecvery relationship is headed for failure because you don't think you're good enough. Honestly if you do think you're the problem, then you probably are. ......Ouch. 1
RiverRunning Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Crap, I don't know. I work out. I try to keep busy with my other interests - work, games, reading, writing, seeing family members and friends, going out for movies or coffee with people. My weight's been a BIG issue in my self-esteem (no pun intended). Very recently I started wearing size 14 pants. I know that's still 'fat.' But for me, it was also the day I realized - I AM THE SIZE OF THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WOMAN. I know - not much when so many of us are overweight and fat. But man, that was the day I really stopped seeing myself so negatively. Lots of thinking. Lots of putting myself out there. I've been in LTRs for so long (since I was 19, almost continuously, and I'm 24 now) that I have forgotten that, besides my two exes, there are actually others out there who might find me sexually attractive. But mostly...the first paragraph. And trying to separate myself from what I THINK most people think about me.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Yeah I do think there's something wrong with you... yiu think ecvery relationship is headed for failure because you don't think you're good enough. Honestly if you do think you're the problem, then you probably are. I've already identified that I'm the problem...nothing new there...I'm just trying to figure out the best way to solve that problem... 1
jerbear Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I've already identified that I'm the problem...nothing new there...I'm just trying to figure out the best way to solve that problem... Have you considered therapy? or Fitchick's Lefkoe?
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Unless you're hung up on somebody, I'd say get right back into the game. But you know yourself better than I. Of course I'd love to jump right back into it, but I keep hearing how I need to "fix myself" before subjecting anyone else to dating me...so does that mean I'm a eunoch until I'm no longer a liability..? And how do I even reach that point...?
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Have you considered therapy? or Fitchick's Lefkoe? I feel that I'm too intelligent and unimpressionable for therapy...and I don't really buy into what I've read so far from Lefkoe's website...
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Well you just RECENTLY ended. That's true, take time for yourself by going out with friends or focus on your job (if employed). Love will just come at the right time so when you still havent seen that person? Just enjoy your single life It's nice being single by the way.
Dust Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I feel that I'm too intelligent and unimpressionable for therapy...and I don't really buy into what I've read so far from Lefkoe's website... I got offer you the somedude offer. Fly out and have a vacation and fun with me. I'll show you how to have fun with women. You know instead of always worrying about if they like you and what other people think.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I got offer you the somedude offer. Fly out and have a vacation and fun with me. I'll show you how to have fun with women. You know instead of always worrying about if they like you and what other people think. You know I'd take that offer in a heartbeat.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Well you just RECENTLY ended. That's true, take time for yourself by going out with friends or focus on your job (if employed). Love will just come at the right time so when you still havent seen that person? Just enjoy your single life It's nice being single by the way. The problem is that I associate the "single life" with that of my disgustingly attractive male friends and get jealous...and suddenly the single life sucks terribly... 1
cerridwen Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You know I'd take that offer in a heartbeat. Prove it. .....
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 This is ****ing bull****. Love hasn't reached me in 42 years. Three weeks with no sex is my longest relationship. HAHAHAHAHA. really? sorry for that But for us women, guys like you dont deserve our time if it's only sex your after. I guess people have different perspective so go on with your life. hehe
Dust Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You know I'd take that offer in a heartbeat. Olright well you've been given the offer. I have a better chance of actualy helping you. I through it out to FortyNineThousand as well. So now 3 men have been lucky enough to hear my calling. Many women on LS have heard that calling to but for a much different purpose hahahaa. 3
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Prove it. ..... Challenge accepted. Seriously.
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 The problem is that I associate the "single life" with that of my disgustingly attractive male friends and get jealous...and suddenly the single life sucks terribly... I guess this is true I'm single and yes I get jealous sometimes with my girlfriends dating with their bfs. But the good thing is I still enjoy being single. I've been in a 4 year relationship with my ex so I guess it's really hard to find another guy.
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 When the **** did I say I just wanted sex? Never but it's another lie from a woman. It's all the haves and have nots. It's all a ****ing joke to you but it isn't to me. **** you all. Okies. hehe
Author USMCHokie Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I guess this is true I'm single and yes I get jealous sometimes with my girlfriends dating with their bfs. But the good thing is I still enjoy being single. I've been in a 4 year relationship with my ex so I guess it's really hard to find another guy. Well, it's not exactly that they're happily in relationships...but rather, they happily get tons of attention from women...so it's a little hard to enjoy being single when I'm around them...makes me feel very invisible to women...which only feeds my insecurities... 1
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Well, it's not exactly that they're happily in relationships...but rather, they happily get tons of attention from women...so it's a little hard to enjoy being single when I'm around them...makes me feel very invisible to women...which only feeds my insecurities... I agree It's hard being single. But dont get insecure. You're better than the rest.
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