redrose123 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I think I am finally coming to terms with my break up and accepting it. I find that I don't expect a call or a text anymore and don't have any expectations that I ever will. Now that I've reached this point my emotions have shifted to fearfulness about the future. Of course I still miss my ex and was comfortable in our relationship and I am no where near ready to date yet but the thought of a new relationship is scary to me. I don't know if I'll be able To start over with someone else eventually and reach that level of comfort with another guy.. I'm also afraid to get hurt again because I never want to feel this type of pain ever again and I refuse to let anyone ever make me feel worthless again. Have any of you gotten out of a LTR and felt like this but eventually met someone else who you were able to open up to and have a meaningful relationship with? Everyone tells me I'll meet the right guy one day but I thought I had already so I'm skeptical if I'll ever be able to trust again..
Nextlane Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Don't be afraid and you will feel better over time. Sometimes we chose to be in a relationship for comfort of not being alone. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years about 2 months ago. It didn't take long for me to know what kind of person she is after taking a step back and looking at the relationship in general. I learnt that I had been taken for granted, abused - emotionally and physically. She doesn't deserve me, I feel so embarassed about why I didn't just leave a lot soon. Experience is what helps people grow and now its all about finding Mrs Right.
blindesided Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Well I was married for 17yrs and after the divorce I was scared to be alone and fearful I would never meet anyone. Well I did - I dated casually a few guys & then I met a special one (or so I thought) We dated for 6mos & he broke up with me stating I wasnt "the one" It is devastating & right this second all the fears of being alone & never meeting anyone else have resurfaced. I too am fearful about opening up again as I never want to feel this pain again. But I have to trust that I will heal like I did after my divorce & I will meet someone even better. I think ever relationship you take something away and learn about yourself.
Million.to.1 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Have any of you gotten out of a LTR and felt like this but eventually met someone else who you were able to open up to and have a meaningful relationship with? Everyone tells me I'll meet the right guy one day but I thought I had already so I'm skeptical if I'll ever be able to trust again.. how old are you OP? We all feel like this after a break-up. We are all scared and we all feel there will never be another.... Each time we have have our hearts broken, we trust love less. You will love again.
WildHorses Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Congratulations, these are normal feelings to have after a break up. We learn from the relationships we go through. I have learned to not lower my standards. I have fears about dating again. I realize that I need this time to be single and just do me. It just takes time, and you will know in your heart when you are ready to date again. Give yourself some time. It will all come together.
Author redrose123 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 I'm 21. People say I'm young and obviously will find someone else but where I'm from it seems that everyone is in a LTR and married by 22, they all seem so happy too
Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You are still very young! I briefly dated a 21 yr old and I was a couple of years older than him. And he dumped me as he wanted to play the field.
Philosoraptor Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Just take your time and wait until you feel comfortable. Just like when you are a child, as an adult you can't let peer pressure get to you. Just follow what feels natural and enjoy the ride.
robkris8079 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 21?!? Don't be scared to be alone. I'm 31 and fresh out of a 5+ year relationship. I don't think I will be alone at all. When I think of a relationship I actually do think about my ex sort of. I think of those first few months. The courage I finally got up to kiss her. The feeling it gave me. The progression from make out sessions to the awkward yet thrilling progression up to sex. Then to the OMG we have to have sex right no matter who is around or where we are feeling you both get because you already done it once and want more. Then on to the I'm so comfortable with you and know exactly what you like to get you off sex and then the spontaneous we never tried this before. Ha! I'm so looking forward to all of that again. Not just the intimacy either. This progression happens in some form or another with just your feelings, emotions and getting to know someone. I guess I just had that on my mind at the moment I started typing this. For me it all goes hand in hand as I've only ever been intimate with one person I didn't have true feelings for. It was strange, uncomfortable and really not my thing.
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