Cmac Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Disappointment, and if I'm being honest bitterness and resentment. I don't want to feel the latter 2 though.
robkris8079 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 such a good question. I'm sure I can comment on this several times with several different answers depending on what thought is in my head at the time. I still do love my ex. I already know it's not the same way I use to though. I do not hate my ex at all. I hate her childish actions she took when she was no longer "in love" with me. I felt disrespected and not important enough to her for her to just come out and say what she was feeling. This makes me a little disappointed in her. So I guess that's really the only feeling at the moment is disappointment. I am happy she is gone and free to pursue whatever it is that will make her happy in life. Everyone deserves happiness. She couldn't find it with me and I need to be honest with myself here. If she wasn't happy with me then how could I have ever been so truly happy with her. The answer is I couldn't. When we were both in the relationship it was the happiest I ever felt. I will find that with someone who won't just shut it off once in awhile. First I need to be sure I'm happy with just me. Which honestly I am about there.
Sophie99 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 On the other hand, I love him in a caring sense, but I believe my feelings of being in love remain for the person he used to be, not who he has become. Which is a shame for him because, he has changed for the worse. He is a very judgemental character these days.
Unbalanced Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I feel dissapointed... we shared 3.5 years with eachother, and now she won't talk to me after an incident that happened that although i had NOTHING to do with, she fully blames me, and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.. This bothers me every now and then, but for the most part I've become pretty numb about the whole thing. I've been in a new relationship for 11 months now, its crazy how time flies. But things are great with this new girl Nevertheless, deep down, I have such a desire to know what is going on in my ex's head. I am content with the break up, and have moved on. But I DONT understand why things have to be on bad terms.... =\
Glove_slap Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I hate her for doing what she did do me. She left me after three years for an older drug dealer guy. I hate what she put me through, she led me on and dropped me like second period French. I couldn't tell you how lonely and disconnected I felt from everything mostly because I don't remember all. However with all that being said, I will always have a place in my heart for her. Haven't spoken or heard from her in over a year and a half
perfectlyflawed459 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I can finally say this with confidence: I feel indifference towards my ex. I could care less who he is dating, sleeping with, doing, etc. None of that really bothers me anymore and he doesn't even cross my mind anymore. I am at the point where I do not count the days since him and I went NC or hope that he will magically change and realize what he had with me. I do not wish ill things upon him anymore and I could care less if he ever regrets leaving me or treating me like crap...Overall, I COULD CARE LESS. PERIOD. Gosh it feels so good to say that However, I do owe him a thank you at the same time. Without this experience and what he put me through, I would not be the person I am right now. I would not have learned from my mistakes and matured from this whole process if it wasn't for him breaking up with me, so with that, I can show a little gratitude for this experience molding me into a better person today. 1
robkris8079 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I can finally say this with confidence: I feel indifference towards my ex. I could care less who he is dating, sleeping with, doing, etc. None of that really bothers me anymore and he doesn't even cross my mind anymore. I am at the point where I do not count the days since him and I went NC or hope that he will magically change and realize what he had with me. I do not wish ill things upon him anymore and I could care less if he ever regrets leaving me or treating me like crap...Overall, I COULD CARE LESS. PERIOD. Gosh it feels so good to say that However, I do owe him a thank you at the same time. Without this experience and what he put me through, I would not be the person I am right now. I would not have learned from my mistakes and matured from this whole process if it wasn't for him breaking up with me, so with that, I can show a little gratitude for this experience molding me into a better person today. I look forward to the day I write these words in your first paragragh. I know I'm well on my way . The second paragraph I can write now. I can't believe who I was in the beginning. I have learned many things about myself, made many mistakes and fixed all of them. I absolutely love who I have become and I owe alot of that to the experience I shared with my ex.
CopingGal Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I hate my ex. I have so much hatred for him sometimes it bothers me. But that's not all the time. Overall I have less hatred than I did before. I feel very sorry for him. I know it must be hard in relationships when you have no conscience. I guess I'm lucky that I have one. Sometimes I'm sorry that I was so nasty to him. But he's done so many horrible things to me, it's hard not to be nasty to him. I wish my ex had a conscience, I really do. It took a long time for me to accept the fact that he has none. The couple's therapist told me he had no conscience back in July. It took all this time for me to come to terms with this and believe her. My ex has done so much to me that it's very apparent that he has no conscience. I'm angry at everything he did to me, but I also feel sad for him. His life is always chaotic and he doesn't seem to understand that using people and constant lying is a bad thing. He really doesn't feel that way. He doesn't seem to understand that psychological abuse is bad. He doesn't understand that when you are in a committed relationship, you don't go looking for other women...you don't ignore your partner and push her away so you can get to know another woman...you don't use your chidren in lies so that you can cheat. All of this does not register with him. It's so sad. He's such a poor bastard.
fetish1980 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 i feel a little pity for her. I knew my ex had the dangerous tendency to write checks she couldn't cash (with her mouth and with her bank ). I have mixed fillings, I feel nolstalgic at times, missing what i thought we had, old times, old laughs, old places. There's other times i feel relieved because I don't have to help her clean up her messes. Also , i am now open to new opportunities and new great things to come. I realize there's always going to be a place in my heart for her and will always love her to some degree, but i have to let go because our relationship was to the point that it couldn't survive on just love alone. With love has to come: commitment, trust, and loyalty. She was missing at least 3 of those things and it wasn't strong enough to whether the storms. fetish 1
volkl1996 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I often wonder how she is doing, if she is OK and doing well, how her family is. I wonder how she felt about the divorce, how she grieved, how she healed. We really did not talk after I moved out. No feelings though, just more curiosity and care I guess.
budley12 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I look forward to the day I write these words in your first paragragh. I know I'm well on my way . You and me both... its been 4months since breakup, 7weeks of NC. Eating problems, insomnia, nightmares are all still here. I just want the pain and thoughts to end =(
Kaotic Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I wish I was indifferent :-) you guys are lucky to have come that far in the healing process :-) I am still getting there and a long way away. I still think of Him often and what he had and I still love him. Even after the break up and the pain, I love him as much as I use to. I have yet it feel angry. Althought if I felt angry I'm sure it would be easier to deal with because anger is easier to cope with than pain :-( I'm holding out for a possible rekindling of the fire....as pathetic as that may sound :-( I reall honestly thought that we would get married and he kids, etc all that stuff we talked about.
theother Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Sometimes I really hope the wife of the man she dumped me for finds out about her and tells him to break it off with her because he will and then she'll see that she threw me away for nothing and she'll feel exactly what I have which is exactly what she deserves. Sometimes I hope, only very minorly and in the minutest and slightest sense, that the wife of the man she dumped me for finds out about her and tells him to break it off with her and he refuses and goes to her because she's thrown away the best guy she's ever going to find in order to have him and it really wouldn't be fair on either of us if he renegged on his promise to leave his wife for her after I've had to go through all that. It's not something I really hope for though as I wish nothing good on him. I hate her for what she did to our family and I miss being in that family and all the good things that should have happened. I pity her for her own stupidity because she thinks a man that already left his wife for her and then went back to her is going to one day leave again and that, as we all know, is never going to happen. I do not love her at all though because I used to do so much for her to show her my love and now I never will do that again. As long as I get to see the kids I can go either way with the first two options except that if he did move in I'd have a very hard time not attacking the new guy for doing that to me.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 At first I hated him; loathed him and was disgusted by him. Now I am indifferent.
WildHorses Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 What do I think about my ex? He is a total narcissist. Verbally and physically abusive. A lying, cheating, snake that roams the Earth. Yes, I was completely hosed. And, where I stand today, I'm thankful that the new girl came in the picture and took him from me. I dodged a bullet from Hell. Took me some time to recover from this nightmare, but it has made me stronger and more aware of RED FLAGS. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 What do I think about my ex? He is a total narcissist. Verbally and physically abusive. A lying, cheating, snake that roams the Earth. Yes, I was completely hosed. And, where I stand today, I'm thankful that the new girl came in the picture and took him from me. I dodged a bullet from Hell. Took me some time to recover from this nightmare, but it has made me stronger and more aware of RED FLAGS. Sounds just like my ex!!!!!! I call him the new girl's Booby Prize. She must have done some bad **** in life to receive my leftovers...j/k, but you know what I mean. The ex was exactly as you described. I was fooled; joke on me. The relationship ended in a bad way, he tried contacting after, but I ignored. Now, a few months later, he found someone on a dating site and I am very shocked. She is everything he ever wanted in a girl. What kind of joke is this? But really, the joke is on the new girl... 1
perfectlyflawed459 Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I look forward to the day I write these words in your first paragragh. I know I'm well on my way . The second paragraph I can write now. I can't believe who I was in the beginning. I have learned many things about myself, made many mistakes and fixed all of them. I absolutely love who I have become and I owe alot of that to the experience I shared with my ex. You will be there someday I promise you that. That's great that you have grown from your break up because it is sad how some people just stay broken and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again in some vicious cycle. You are definitely taking the right steps towards healing and I wish you and everyone else the absolute best in your journies to healing 1
AriesBunny Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I feel remorse and sadness. Most of it was my jealousy and miscommunication.
g450 Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 As for me, I can and do talk to my ex in a civil way. But every time I see her it feels like somebody punched me in the gut and chest as hard as they could. That's why I avoid talking to her as much as I can. I do occasionally check in with our Son to make sure she is OK. What do I feel? Every concievable emotion possible when I see her or think about her. So I try not to. I have moved on with a new woman but like somebody here already said. You never really get over them. Especially if you were together for almost a lifetime. That just doesnt go away over night. But it also doesnt mean you cant live your life and love another.
WildHorses Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 Sounds just like my ex!!!!!! I call him the new girl's Booby Prize. She must have done some bad **** in life to receive my leftovers...j/k, but you know what I mean. The ex was exactly as you described. I was fooled; joke on me. The relationship ended in a bad way, he tried contacting after, but I ignored. Now, a few months later, he found someone on a dating site and I am very shocked. She is everything he ever wanted in a girl. What kind of joke is this? But really, the joke is on the new girl... Girl, I feel your pain...Somebody who has NPD and is not being treated for it, taking care of it, is really hard. It's a nightmare and quite painful when the break up happens. My guy left me for a new girl. I had the wonderful opportunity of meeting the girl the night before he left me for her! Ha. They are now moving into a home together as I type.
camarad Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 beautiful on the inside, sexy on the outside, yet ridiculously insecure to the point I can't ever see her being happy with anyone.
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