How to stop thinking about women

[Necris]

I have a class around the same time the Anime Club meets at my campus, it's right next door. I walked in once by mistake (thinking it was my class) and sat down. Then I looked around and realized there was no women, I was in Anime club.

 

I do notice things like anime clubs or gaming clubs are geared more towards the male student body its very rare to see a female in one of those. I also noticed classes like my programming classes have very few females and of the few that are there are either taken, older, if single extremely unattractive and if attractive and single there is no chance as every guy wants to be with her or she is just isn't interested in nerdy guys.

 

Also in my experience churches are bad places to meet women as well for one people go to church to worship not find dates, then there seems to be a lack of young women just older women and children and the girls that you would consider dating are most likely taken.

Edited March 27, 2012 by Necris

[somedude81]

It's sad how this situation keeps happening to a number of guys.

 

What is wrong with our culture that it becomes a common occurrence for guys to become adults and not have a clue how women work.

[verhrzn]

I do notice things like anime clubs or gaming clubs are geared more towards the male student body its very rare to see a female in one of those. I also noticed classes like my programming classes have very few females and of the few that are there are either taken, older, if single extremely unattractive and if attractive and single there is no chance as every guy wants to be with her or she is just isn't interested in nerdy guys.

 

Also in my experience churches are bad places to meet women as well for one people go to church to worship not find dates, then there seems to be a lack of young women just older women and children and the girls that you would consider dating are most likely taken.

 

That's rather bizarre. I agree that women in programming classes are a bit more rare (careful about the "and they're all OLD and UNATTRACTIVE"... judging women based entirely on their looks/age is really not gonna get you any points), but of the anime clubs I've encountered, the majority has been female.

 

It may be geared towards the male student body, but female nerds have to be SOMEwhere. Have you actually attended either an anime or gaming club meeting? Have you attended several, particularly the ones with animes that are a little more "girly"?

 

May I ask what college you are at? Except for the really tech-driven campuses like MIT, most college campuses are majority female, and female nerds are growing more and more in number each year. What avenues have you tried exploring to find them?

 

Also, the reason I'm focusing on female nerds instead of, say, females, is because we tend to attract what we are. I'm not sure if you want a female nerd.... if you don't, then you need to cultivate other interests. Like attracts like, and if you're looking for more the Cheerleader or Sorority girl type, then you need to become what attracts those kinds of girls.

 

Have ya read any of Dr. Nerdlove? What did ya think?

[Dust]

I'm a guy and I don't think I'll be ever in a relationship with a woman anytime soon so I was wondering any tips on how to just stop thinking about it. I have heard the get a hobby thing and I do have hobbies like playing videogames, coding, reading, etc. Most of my hobbies just involve me though as they aren't exactly highly social hobbies and I'm not exactly the most social of people. Anyway despite this my mind keeps thinking about my loneliness and how I don't have friends, never had a relationship with a woman, and other things and I just want help to stop thinking about these things. Man I miss being a kid as a child I never worried myself over girls (damn you now adult subconscious making me think about women) or even having friends I'd just do my own thing by myself and still be happy.

 

You're only 20 its a bad attitude that makes you think you can't get a woman. I was 22 when I got my first "real" gf and all it took was flipping a switch in my mind. Then I could girls!

 

If you're lonely make some friends. You could try something new as in join a sports team like intermural basketball or something that apeals to you.

 

As for women are you even asking any girls out? I mean do you expect a girl to just knock on your door and seduce you? So tell me the truth whens the last time you asked a girl out on a date... never?

 

My advice to you is stop stressing about these things. Just go out and meet people and ask girls out and don't worry about. Just enjoy yourself. Find a way to that and your problem is soved even before you find a gf. You'll have hope again.

[udolipixie]

It's sad how this situation keeps happening to a number of guys.

 

What is wrong with our culture that it becomes a common occurrence for guys to become adults and not have a clue how women work.

I don't think the situation keeps happening to a number of guys because of a cultural shift where guys increasingly don't have a clue how women work.

 

I highly doubt that in past times men had more of a clue how women worked & women had more of a clue how men work as it seems people generally knew less about the world and humanity in the past.

 

I think if men don't have a clue how women work it's more of a disadvantage as the culture now has women being less dependent on men for survival & no longer having less rights.

[stillafool]

I'm a guy and I don't think I'll be ever in a relationship with a woman anytime soon so I was wondering any tips on how to just stop thinking about it. I have heard the get a hobby thing and I do have hobbies like playing videogames, coding, reading, etc. Most of my hobbies just involve me though as they aren't exactly highly social hobbies and I'm not exactly the most social of people. Anyway despite this my mind keeps thinking about my loneliness and how I don't have friends, never had a relationship with a woman, and other things and I just want help to stop thinking about these things. Man I miss being a kid as a child I never worried myself over girls (damn you now adult subconscious making me think about women) or even having friends I'd just do my own thing by myself and still be happy.

 

Get a second job in addition to everything else you have going on. You will be so busy and tired you won't have time to think of anything. The good side to this is you will have extra cash to buy things you want. Good Luck.

[Dust]

I don't think the situation keeps happening to a number of guys because of a cultural shift where guys increasingly don't have a clue how women work.

 

I highly doubt that in past times men had more of a clue how women worked & women had more of a clue how men work as it seems people generally knew less about the world and humanity in the past.

 

I think if men don't have a clue how women work it's more of a disadvantage as the culture now has women being less dependent on men for survival & no longer having less rights.

 

Haha I would say it is the opposite. Men are behaving more like women and in doing so have forgotten how to be a man who naturaly can get woemen. All it takes is a few aggressive acts such as asking women out on a regular basis with out such emotion to the outcome and any guy will get a gf in time. All this fear is because they are out of touch with being horny.

 

Only reason women are less dependent on men are laws. The reality is women are very dependent on men for surival even if in the US they currently have more rights then men.

[Ross MwcFan]

You're only 20 its a bad attitude that makes you think you can't get a woman. I was 22 when I got my first "real" gf and all it took was flipping a switch in my mind. Then I could girls!

 

If you're lonely make some friends. You could try something new as in join a sports team like intermural basketball or something that apeals to you.

 

As for women are you even asking any girls out? I mean do you expect a girl to just knock on your door and seduce you? So tell me the truth whens the last time you asked a girl out on a date... never?

 

My advice to you is stop stressing about these things. Just go out and meet people and ask girls out and don't worry about. Just enjoy yourself. Find a way to that and your problem is soved even before you find a gf. You'll have hope again.

 

What do you mean by flipping a switch in your mind, and how did you do it?

[counterman]

Don't try to stifle the thought of women... in fact, you need think about them even MORE, so much so that you're hormones are raging inside and you MUST do something about it i.e. talk to them, ask them out, kiss them. Seriously, it's one of the best feelings ever, getting over that 'fear' because really it's all in your head man.

 

As others have said, join clubs and societies and make an effort to attend events. Who cares if you think you wouldn't like them, just go to them! Say hi to someone and start talking; you'll make friends in no time.

[udolipixie]

Haha I would say it is the opposite. Men are behaving more like women

Different experiences.

 

I see far more bitter, angry, resentful men full of hate than men who behave like women.

 

and in doing so have forgotten [/b]how to be a man who naturaly can get woemen.[/b]

What does being a man who can naturally get a woman mean to you?

 

With the whole sexuality toss up to me it's more of how to get a partner and that generally comes from being attractive, interesting, fun to be around, and them wanting to be a part of your life & have you as a part of their life.

 

Plenty of men seem to fail on that part and it tends to be due to a logic of:

I'm a man so women are obligated to be with me

Taking women are less visual to be women are blind

Women should be attracted to how I treat them so the women I find attractive who fit my standards are shallow/silly/superficial for not overlooking their standards for qualities I think outweigh them..even though I wouldn't overlook my standards for those qualities

 

All it takes is a few aggressive acts such as asking women out on a regular basis with out such emotion to the outcome and any guy will get a gf in time.

Egh to me asking women out isn't automatically aggressive.

 

How you ask women out can be aggressive.

 

All this fear is because they are out of touch with being horny.

I highly doubt this with the porn sales and by my experience of how many men are quick to bemoan their sexual needs.

 

I think it's more of a fear of rejection and getting a blow to the ego as women can say no not being behaving more like women and out of touch with being horny.

 

Only reason women are less dependent on men are laws. The reality is women are very dependent on men for surival

Some women are.

 

The reality to me is that people are very dependent on the government, police, and the army for survival and protection.

 

even if in the US they currently have more rights then men.

Do cite these laws where women have more rights then men? Or am I likely to get some MRA juice?

Edited March 27, 2012 by udolipixie

[udolipixie]

Dating for men is about the haves and have nots. The haves get whatever they want. The have nots get nothing they want.

While a bit extreme I think a version* of that applies to everyone in the dating world no matter their sexual orientation.

 

If you have something others desires it's most likely you'll get what you want in a partner.

If you don't have something others desire it's most unlikely you'll get what you want in a partner unless you gain what they desire or compensate for it.

 

* Version being the haves are likely to get most of what they want & the have nots are likely to get some of what they want.

[udolipixie]

Its not the same way for females unless they are models.

That's a bit illogical to me.

 

Do tell how the have & have not doesn't apply to women unless they're models.

 

Even the ugliest females say no to me.

Them refusing you doesn't negate that by being unattractive they are a have-not and it's most unlikely they'll get what they want in a partner unless they gain what others desire or compensate for it

[Rimer]

You're only 20 its a bad attitude that makes you think you can't get a woman. I was 22 when I got my first "real" gf and all it took was flipping a switch in my mind. Then I could girls!

 

If you're lonely make some friends. You could try something new as in join a sports team like intermural basketball or something that apeals to you.

 

As for women are you even asking any girls out? I mean do you expect a girl to just knock on your door and seduce you? So tell me the truth whens the last time you asked a girl out on a date... never?

 

My advice to you is stop stressing about these things. Just go out and meet people and ask girls out and don't worry about. Just enjoy yourself. Find a way to that and your problem is soved even before you find a gf. You'll have hope again.

 

Very good post! Does it really matter that if you have the bad attitude "I won't ever find a girlfriend" it can actually prevent you from getting that GF?

 

I don't buy that "if you stop looking they'll magically appear." This might work for those few individuals who are naturally outgoing and routinely end up around large groups of people... people who socialize a lot for work, or go to lots of parties.

 

I didn't mean just sit around at home and they'll magically appear. But in day to day activities. If you goto work, shopping, gym, out with friends, sports etc you can just bump into that someone. As I did with my ex. I was supposed to see another girl at the railroad station that day and was waiting for her to only get a phone call from her when I was on the way there that she won't be coming so I went threw a park back home this is where I bumped into my ex sitting on a bench and we started chatting up. We were together for 8½ years.

 

What I essential meant is that many times when you stop looking at every girl you talk to like a possibility to be your next girlfriend it get's much easier to find that one. I even get a feeling girls can sense a guy "on the hunt" for a girlfriend as it comes out possibly as being needy or desperate. That's what is happening to me at the moment.

 

So If you do something else than just sit around home you can bump into someone.

[verhrzn]

me and they'll magically appear. But in day to day activities. If you goto work, shopping, gym, out with friends, sports etc you can just bump into that someone. As I did with my ex. I was supposed to see another girl at the railroad station that day and was waiting for her to only get a phone call from her when I was on the way there that she won't be coming so I went threw a park back home this is where I bumped into my ex sitting on a bench and we started chatting up. We were together for 8½ years.

 

What I essential meant is that many times when you stop looking at every girl you talk to like a possibility to be your next girlfriend it get's much easier to find that one. I even get a feeling girls can sense a guy "on the hunt" for a girlfriend as it comes out possibly as being needy or desperate. That's what is happening to me at the moment.

 

So If you do something else than just sit around home you can bump into someone.

 

*Shrugs* I still don't buy it. I go out to lots of places... on my own as well... the gym, the grocery store, the book store, coffee shops, etc, and I haven't met anyone new in months. The only time I meet new people are either through singles groups/meet-ups, or mutual friends' parties.

 

I think it matters if you're conventionally attractive or not. Like I said previously, attractive women CAN meet guys in random locations, without needing to look, because the guys approach them. Even in your situation, you approached your ex. But if you're an unattractive woman or a typical guy (some guys get approached, but I don't know how common it is), you have to actually work at it.

[udolipixie]

ugly women get married. I can't get anything.

 

Ugly men also get married.

 

Plenty of people in all ranges of attractiveness get married.

 

Seems you're focused on women have it easier and I have it harder only because I have male genitals.

[somedude81]

That's rather bizarre. I agree that women in programming classes are a bit more rare (careful about the "and they're all OLD and UNATTRACTIVE"... judging women based entirely on their looks/age is really not gonna get you any points), but of the anime clubs I've encountered, the majority has been female.

 

It may be geared towards the male student body, but female nerds have to be SOMEwhere. Have you actually attended either an anime or gaming club meeting? Have you attended several, particularly the ones with animes that are a little more "girly"?

I haven't been to a gaming club meeting on my campus, but from what I heard it was all men. I went to one anime club meeting and there were a good number of girls. Though all they did was watch anime from the start to end of the meeting. No time to socialize, it was really odd. I had a much better time of meeting nerd girls at Japan club. Though they didn't want to date so that's a different issue.

I highly doubt that in past times men had more of a clue how women worked & women had more of a clue how men work as it seems people generally knew less about the world and humanity in the past.

Knowing about the world works doesn't have anything to do with understating human behavior.

 

When I speak of culturally, I mean that there is nothing set up to actually teach boys how communicate and interact with girls. They're basically left to try and figure things out themselves and many guys simply don't.

 

In some other cultures, the father takes an active roll in teaching, or as a teenager he may be sent to brothels, somebody on this forum said that in Italy they are paired up with older married women.

 

One thing that I know for sure, is that I could have used a crash course on women right after I got out of high school. I'm still trying to figure things out at 30 and it's a very long and frustrating process.

What do you mean by flipping a switch in your mind, and how did you do it?

He asked out a pretty girl and she said yes.

 

They went to a bar. He got drunk, tried to kiss her and she let him. She was most likely also drunk.

 

She invited him to her place and he lost his virginity.

 

Do a search for threads he made to get the full story, but that's the basic summary.

[PhillyDude]

i find that shemales help with the woman problem in thinking....

 

ewwwwwwwww

[PhillyDude]

ugly women get married. I can't get anything.

 

And that always surprised me because for years I felt that ugly women wasn't qualified to be married-lol

 

 

Why would I want to wake up to a ugly women everyday and then start crying?

[verhrzn]

I haven't been to a gaming club meeting on my campus, but from what I heard it was all men. I went to one anime club meeting and there were a good number of girls. Though all they did was watch anime from the start to end of the meeting. No time to socialize, it was really odd. I had a much better time of meeting nerd girls at Japan club. Though they didn't want to date so that's a different issue.

 

From what you heard... you haven't actually gone yourself. Hearsy is not fact.

 

.... Well of course they'd watch anime. It's the anime club. My experience is the socializing happens before/after, and outside at "extra" events... things only committed members are privy to. Which is why you need to go routinely and make yourself familiar to the group.

[somedude81]

From what you heard... you haven't actually gone yourself. Hearsy is not fact.

 

.... Well of course they'd watch anime. It's the anime club. My experience is the socializing happens before/after, and outside at "extra" events... things only committed members are privy to. Which is why you need to go routinely and make yourself familiar to the group.

I was just expecting them to have some sort of mixer or take a break halfway and actually discuss anime. Just talk about something. If all I wanted to do was watch anime, I'd do it at home.

 

Either way I'll check it out next semester and give it a few meetings.

[udolipixie]

Knowing about the world works doesn't have anything to do with understating human behavior.

 

Nowhere did I sate, suggest, or imply that. Quite unsure what you got from your reading that you felt you had to state that.

 

I stated I doubt that wo/men in the past had more understanding of each other as it seems in the past people generally knew less about their evironment and themselves.

 

When I speak of culturally, I mean that there is nothing set up to actually teach boys how communicate and interact with girls. They're basically left to try and figure things out themselves and many guys simply don't.

Nor was their anything much set.up in the past.

 

Culturally learning how to communicate/interact with the opposite sex is pretty much the same coming from learning from school environments, friends, family (fathers teaching sons, mothers teaching daughters), and libraries.

 

Only with the culture of now there is the internet and there are chances of a much wider social network.

 

In some other cultures, the father takes an active roll in teaching, or as a teenager he may be sent to brothels, somebody on this forum said that in Italy they are paired up with older married women.

Those things happen in America as well.

 

One thing that I know for sure, is that I could have used a crash course on women right after I got out of high school. I'm still trying to figure things out at 30 and it's a very long and frustrating process.

So no or few attempts to try to learn about women yourself from family, friends, the internet, and books after high school or even during?

 

It seems that you want someone to give you want you need to succeed rather than seek it out or learn for yourself.

[PhillyDude]

Nowhere did I sate, suggest, or imply that. Quite unsure what you got from your reading that you felt you had to state that.

 

I stated I doubt that wo/men in the past had more understanding of each other as it seems in the past people generally knew less about their evironment and themselves.

 

 

Nor was their anything much set.up in the past.

 

Culturally learning how to communicate/interact with the opposite sex is pretty much the same coming from learning from school environments, friends, family (fathers teaching sons, mothers teaching daughters), and libraries.

 

Only with the culture of now there is the internet and there are chances of a much wider social network.

 

 

Those things happen in America as well.

 

 

So no or few attempts to try to learn about women yourself from family, friends, the internet, and books after high school or even during?

 

It seems that you want someone to give you want you need to succeed rather than seek it out or learn for yourself.

 

 

Well now you should understand why it's better for some to only be around women when you are horny because at some point you get tired of trying to figure out woman

[udolipixie]

Well now you should understand why it's better for some to only be around women when you are horny because at some point you get tired of trying to figure out woman

Hence why it's probably best suited to stop trying to figure out people so that you can get them to do what you want you can aka think women are like Rubik's cubes who turn into a pockey pussy when you do this & that.

 

Probably best suited to work on yourself and have that attract women.

[PhillyDude]

Hence why it's probably best suited to stop trying to figure out people so that you can get them to do what you want you can aka think women are like Rubik's cubes who turn into a pockey pussy when you do this & that.

 

Probably best suited to work on yourself and have that attract women.

 

 

The "GETTING TO KNOW PROCESS" is nauseating

[udolipixie]

The "GETTING TO KNOW PROCESS" is nauseating

So your issues is that women just don't turn into a pcoket pussy on demand but are human beings you may have to get to know and they would most likely want attract in order to have the sex you want?

 

There are prostitutes in legal areas no having to get to know them just pay.