Necris Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I'm a guy and I don't think I'll be ever in a relationship with a woman anytime soon so I was wondering any tips on how to just stop thinking about it. I have heard the get a hobby thing and I do have hobbies like playing videogames, coding, reading, etc. Most of my hobbies just involve me though as they aren't exactly highly social hobbies and I'm not exactly the most social of people. Anyway despite this my mind keeps thinking about my loneliness and how I don't have friends, never had a relationship with a woman, and other things and I just want help to stop thinking about these things. Man I miss being a kid as a child I never worried myself over girls (damn you now adult subconscious making me think about women) or even having friends I'd just do my own thing by myself and still be happy.
verhrzn Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I'm in a similar situation (with the same hobbies, in fact), though I'm a girl and trying to stop thinking about guys. I've found success in avoiding negative thought patterns when I make myself active... taking a walk with an absorbing audio book ("The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" is fascinating with a lot of fun science talk behind it), exercising, gardening, those sorts of things. I do a martial art, and it requires a lot of concentration... walking into the dojang, it's like my brain just goes elsewhere for a few hours. I don't think about anything else except what's in front of me. I also might suggest tackling the idea that you'll never have a girlfriend. You strike me as a nerdy type... trying reading up on Dr. Nerdlove. He has a lot of good advice on how to improve your fashion sense, and interactions with girls (and people of all kinds, really.) I've steered a couple of my nerdy male friends towards it, and they really like it. Good luck.
udolipixie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I doubt you'll be able to stop though I do know of a few guys who have stopped thinking of women entirely in the sense of relationships/sex when they took a certain drug that kills sex drive. I do think you can lessen the thoughts by getting or furthering your social circle, learning to be alone without being lonely, hobbies that involve others, and finding the reasons why you think about women or desire a relationship to see if you can get alternatives to fit them.
Author Necris Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Get spayed or neutered. Come now I want some serious advice. Besides getting my balls cut off probably wouldn't help at all, I had a dog who had his balls cut off and everytime I bought him a pillow to sleep on he would masturbate with it and tear it to pieces.
verhrzn Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 PS: How old are you? Are you in college? Do you go to cons at all? What's your type of girl?
Rimer Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I'm in a similar situation (with the same hobbies, in fact), though I'm a girl and trying to stop thinking about guys. I've found success in avoiding negative thought patterns when I make myself active... taking a walk with an absorbing audio book ("The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" is fascinating with a lot of fun science talk behind it), exercising, gardening, those sorts of things. I do a martial art, and it requires a lot of concentration... walking into the dojang, it's like my brain just goes elsewhere for a few hours. I don't think about anything else except what's in front of me. I also might suggest tackling the idea that you'll never have a girlfriend. You strike me as a nerdy type... trying reading up on Dr. Nerdlove. He has a lot of good advice on how to improve your fashion sense, and interactions with girls (and people of all kinds, really.) I've steered a couple of my nerdy male friends towards it, and they really like it. Good luck. I think that's not true. There is someone out there for everyone. Nerdy or not. Thing is as I think about it. Like I met my ex was at the time when I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. Every time I've been hoping to find that special someone I don't find it but when you stop looking that's when they usually pop up. Keep on moving.. she'll come along one day
carhill Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Age and getting taken to the cleaners worked for me. No prescription required 2
verhrzn Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I think that's not true. There is someone out there for everyone. Nerdy or not. Thing is as I think about it. Like I met my ex was at the time when I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. Every time I've been hoping to find that special someone I don't find it but when you stop looking that's when they usually pop up. Keep on moving.. she'll come along one day I don't buy that "if you stop looking they'll magically appear." This might work for those few individuals who are naturally outgoing and routinely end up around large groups of people... people who socialize a lot for work, or go to lots of parties. But for people who are rather solitary by nature, or who have smaller social circles, if you don't force yourself to meet people... you don't meet people. I mean, where are you going to meet this special someone, your living room? For example, here is my routine: go to work, go to the gym, come home and so my solitary hobbies (reading, video games, what have you.) Maybe twice a month I go out with friends, but the "going out" is usually to brunch, or the museum, or a mutual friend's party where everyone already knows everyone. There is only a very, very small chance for meeting someone new. Granted, I think it's *slightly* different for girls, because a lot of them get approached by strangers/acquaintances in places like coffee shops, the grocery store, etc. But for guys and ugly girls, we have to make our own fortunes, as they say. If you want to get a girlfriend, you need to put yourself out there. I recommend conventions that are geared to your interests (sci-fi, anime) and meet-ups (similar.) You also may want to try Nerds At Heart, a company that arranges Single MeetUps for nerds in different cities.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 The best way for a guy to stop thinking about women is for him to be homosexual. Seriously, it's a losing battle, dude. My advice is to start becoming more social. Because you're going to have to get a chick sooner or later. Why not sooner?
jobaba Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I'm a guy and I don't think I'll be ever in a relationship with a woman anytime soon so I was wondering any tips on how to just stop thinking about it. I have heard the get a hobby thing and I do have hobbies like playing videogames, coding, reading, etc. Most of my hobbies just involve me though as they aren't exactly highly social hobbies and I'm not exactly the most social of people. Anyway despite this my mind keeps thinking about my loneliness and how I don't have friends, never had a relationship with a woman, and other things and I just want help to stop thinking about these things. Man I miss being a kid as a child I never worried myself over girls (damn you now adult subconscious making me think about women) or even having friends I'd just do my own thing by myself and still be happy. I have done just that for long stretches. I was a practicing musician and that and work would be my life. Sure, I still went out and hit on women every now and then, but it was half ass. You can go on like this for a while and be quite content. What happens eventually is the love bug hits you and you get a crush on someone you are in contact with from your daily life. And it all spirals from there. How old are you? I suggesting looking for a woman. Get the monkey off your back.
Author Necris Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 PS: How old are you? Are you in college? Do you go to cons at all? What's your type of girl? I'm actually 20 and yes I'm in college, and no I haven't been to any conventions though I plan to one day. As for type of girl I don't know it depends: When it comes to physical appearance as long as she seems healthy and somewhat normal I'm good. I'm not going to lie and say physical attraction isn't important but its not all important if she looks like this I'll like it. Obesity and severe anorexia are major turn-offs, a symmetrical good looking face and waist line smaller than hips are important as well. More important though is if our personalities are compatible I prefer someone with similar interests as me, intelligent, nice, at least somewhat independent and responsible, mentally sane, doesn't do drugs (including cigarrettes (second hand smoke gives me asthma attacks) though a little drinking here and there is okay), also I prefer a virgin or at least a woman with little sexual experience, also it would be nice if the girl is Christian like I am. I just wish I could go back to the days of my childhood when I never even thought of girls like I do now or thinking about having friends, that way I'm not bothered by my loneliness.
jobaba Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I'm actually 20 and yes I'm in college, and no I haven't been to any conventions though I plan to one day. As for type of girl I don't know it depends: When it comes to physical appearance as long as she seems healthy and somewhat normal I'm good. I'm not going to lie and say physical attraction isn't important but its not all important if she looks like this I'll like it. Obesity and severe anorexia are major turn-offs, a symmetrical good looking face and waist line smaller than hips are important as well. More important though is if our personalities are compatible I prefer someone with similar interests as me, intelligent, nice, at least somewhat independent and responsible, mentally sane, doesn't do drugs (including cigarrettes (second hand smoke gives me asthma attacks) though a little drinking here and there is okay), also I prefer a virgin or at least a woman with little sexual experience, also it would be nice if the girl is Christian like I am. I just wish I could go back to the days of my childhood when I never even thought of girls like I do now or thinking about having friends, that way I'm not bothered by my loneliness. Oh wow. You're a puppy. Hang out in church groups. Those are awesome places to meet women and friends while in college.
Author Necris Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Oh wow. You're a puppy. Hang out in church groups. Those are awesome places to meet women and friends while in college. If by puppy you mean young yes, yes I am. I am absolutely terrible at meeting women so I would like to concentrate on something else but my mind won't let me.
Mallow Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 It's never too late to put yourself out there. Push yourself to be a bit more social. I used to be more of a shy introvert. I went out of my way to change. I joined the gym, took some courses and started opening up more to people. The only person stopping you from progress is yourself.
jobaba Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Granted, I think it's *slightly* different for girls, because a lot of them get approached by strangers/acquaintances in places like coffee shops, the grocery store, etc. But for guys and ugly girls, we have to make our own fortunes, as they say. Haha. Yea. I was talking to a female recently and when asked about the subject of looking for men she said, "I'm not looking. He'll just pop up when I don't expect it." Yea. If I lived like that ... virgin to the grave. Haha. I'm not going to lie and say physical attraction isn't important but its not all important if she looks like this I'll like it. Hitting on women you find blatantly unattractive just to get some action/experience doesn't really work. I don't know why but I'm sure there are reasons. At least like SOMETHING about her before you decide you might go for her. 1
Author Necris Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Haha. Yea. I was talking to a female recently and when asked about the subject of looking for men she said, "I'm not looking. He'll just pop up when I don't expect it." Yea. If I lived like that ... virgin to the grave. Haha. . I hear that alot, some people say if you stop looking that's when you find your soulmate or something like that, while logically that doesn't make sense I do wonder if there is any truth to that. Hitting on women you find blatantly unattractive just to get some action/experience doesn't really work. I don't know why but I'm sure there are reasons. At least like SOMETHING about her before you decide you might go for her. Oh I never said anything about hitting on women I don't find attractive I think its wrong to use people. The girls in the pic I actually find somewhat attractive and if they had the personality I'm looking for I'd certainly date them.
verhrzn Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You're still very young. If you're in college, go join like-minded groups... almost every college I've heard of has an Anime Club, or a gaming club, or something nerdy-minded like that. Read Dr. Nerdlove, and go forth and socialize.
Feelsgoodman Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 That's what this board is for. When I feel that thinking about women is distracting me from the more important things in life, I come to this board and read the constant barrage of whiny/complainy posts by resident man-hating feminazis. Works like a great anti-afrodesicac and kills any desire to date women for at least a couple of months. In fact, I have a few of Disenchantedly Yours' posts saved on my hard drive for that very reason. 1
PhillyDude Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 See what women don't understand is we really don't need them If you need someone to talk to, you talk to the guys if you need someone to have fun with and go out with, you call the guys If you want sex, YOU.................."Reminisce with the guys" Women, can't live with them.........THE END LOL 2
PhillyDude Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I hear that alot, some people say if you stop looking that's when you find your soulmate or something like that, while logically that doesn't make sense I do wonder if there is any truth to that. Oh I never said anything about hitting on women I don't find attractive I think its wrong to use people. The girls in the pic I actually find somewhat attractive and if they had the personality I'm looking for I'd certainly date them. It's true, you have to walk outside with a BLIND FOLD over your eyes:)
Eddie Edirol Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I'm a guy and I don't think I'll be ever in a relationship with a woman anytime soon so I was wondering any tips on how to just stop thinking about it. I have heard the get a hobby thing and I do have hobbies like playing videogames, coding, reading, etc. Most of my hobbies just involve me though as they aren't exactly highly social hobbies and I'm not exactly the most social of people. Anyway despite this my mind keeps thinking about my loneliness and how I don't have friends, never had a relationship with a woman, and other things and I just want help to stop thinking about these things. Man I miss being a kid as a child I never worried myself over girls (damn you now adult subconscious making me think about women) or even having friends I'd just do my own thing by myself and still be happy. If you want to change yourself and learn how to make yourself more desireable by women, then google it, look up dating dynamics, make a hobby out of finding out, from men, how to avoid turning women off with your presence. If you dont want to change, then keep doing what youre doing now, but you will be lonely forever. Just like any games, you have to learn about the program and the console before you start playing with it.
Jane2011 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I agree about having fun friends. There was a stretch of time about a year and a half ago when I was single that I hardly felt the effects of it because I had about three or four extremely crazy/fun friends. Any given night that I might otherwise have sat feeling sorry for myself, I was called and told to come over so we could just be stupid/silly together (and do a little howling at the moon, as well). This set of friends I had has since dispersed a bit (and my current friends are a little more subdued and occasional in nature), so I feel the effects of singleness much more. Someone mentioned social people vs. introverted/solitary people. I think I'm pretty much a cross between the two. But when I start feeling like I'm not "getting out" enough (to group outings, etc.), I always do something proactive to force a possible man-meeting. Speed dating, take a ballroom dancing class, some kind of event that puts me out there somehow. To the OP, I wish I could hook you up with one of my students. I'm a teacher to a bunch of 20 year old girls. I would suggest joining clubs/organizations that entail talking to people. It's not enough to just go to events where people just mill around by themselves or with the friends they came with. Join clubs at your college that necessitate interaction amongst everybody.
EmpoweredWoman Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 You're still very young. If you're in college, go join like-minded groups... almost every college I've heard of has an Anime Club, or a gaming club, or something nerdy-minded like that. Read Dr. Nerdlove, and go forth and socialize. I have a class around the same time the Anime Club meets at my campus, it's right next door. I walked in once by mistake (thinking it was my class) and sat down. Then I looked around and realized there was no women, I was in Anime club.
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