GK92 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 So, I've gone back into dating, and I found someone that really appreciates me for who I am. I can be myself when spending time with her and I basically feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now. We met online because we shared a lot of our interests, and I am going to visit her in the beginning of April. We talk daily via phone or IM, both of us are flirty every now and then and both of us stated that we are interested. Since we haven't met before in person we decided to meet as friends. She considers it a date, but we've decided to be careful not to go too fast. Thing is that she's been telling me about one guy that is hitting on her daily, and I can see that he obviously does this on Facebook. He lives a few minutes from her place while I live 3-4 hours away. She tells me that he's been hitting on her for a while now but that she isn't interested. She doesn't really respond that well to his flirting, but if he is like: "You're really cute!" and she responds "Aww, that's sweet.". I just got back from a depression, partly because I was tricked by this other girl that she liked me, when she didn't. It hit really hard, and I am really cautious of falling into the same trap again. So I don't really know what to do with this girl. I like her a lot and I want to get to know her better, but I can't take it if this other guy takes her from me. Yeah, she tells me that she likes me and that I am a unique and nice guy. But I seriously need some advice here, what should I do?
dasein Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Long distance relationships are a bad bet. Have you actually met her in person yet? In your shoes, with a recent fragile past, would definitely seek options closer to home, and let this option fade out. I also don't like how she is responding to the close guy and telling you about it when you barely know each other. Sends up a "manipulative" flag.
Author GK92 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) Long distance relationships are a bad bet. Have you actually met her in person yet? In your shoes, with a recent fragile past, would definitely seek options closer to home, and let this option fade out. I also don't like how she is responding to the close guy and telling you about it when you barely know each other. Sends up a "manipulative" flag. Not yet, I've bought tickets to visit her and she even told me: "Next turn it's my turn to go to you!". As I said we are meeting in the beginning of April which will be our first meeting. I actually asked her about any other guys hitting on her, so she didn't tell me out of the blue. Edited March 26, 2012 by GK92
dasein Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 You know, we have to decide whether we are strong enough to undertake risks in life and sustain potential disappointment, whatever the nature of such risks. Based on your recent mental health history, you are contemplating playing very long odds, sorry to say. If you persist, hope they pay out for you.
make me believe Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Do you live 3-4 hours away by car or plane? If it's by car I think you should really try to meet her ASAP before you get too attached to the 'idea' of her. Talking online and on the phone is NOT the same as interacting in person and it's possible that when you meet the spark won't be there or you just won't click. I think you're getting way ahead of yourself here. You guys need to chill out on the chatting & phone conversations until you meet in person and find out if there's anything actually worth pursuing. You are WAY too attached if you are so worried about another guy "taking" her from you. She's not yours to be "taken" so you really need to take a step back and look at this objectively. You've NEVER MET HER, and you're already freaking out inside. That's not healthy. 2
Saxis Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 One question... Why are you putting such emotional investment in someone you haven't even met yet? You're setting yourself up for disappointment. 1
Author GK92 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Do you live 3-4 hours away by car or plane? If it's by car I think you should really try to meet her ASAP before you get too attached to the 'idea' of her. Talking online and on the phone is NOT the same as interacting in person and it's possible that when you meet the spark won't be there or you just won't click. I think you're getting way ahead of yourself here. You guys need to chill out on the chatting & phone conversations until you meet in person and find out if there's anything actually worth pursuing. You are WAY too attached if you are so worried about another guy "taking" her from you. She's not yours to be "taken" so you really need to take a step back and look at this objectively. You've NEVER MET HER, and you're already freaking out inside. That's not healthy. It's by car. I can admit I am getting a little ahead of myself, but it has nothing to do with me thinking that she already is "mine". My confidence isn't the best, I'm afraid that I can't outplay this guy should the interest remain after we met each other. She tells me that the other guy is really depressing to talk to and that he always makes everything about himself. The conversations aren't really anything special, sure we flirt once in a while but otherwise it's really casual. Just telling each other how our days have been and whatnot. We've been talking with webcameras on and stuff like that, and play alot of Videogames with each other online (One of our interests that we share). I'm going there by train which takes one and a half hour.
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 It's by car. I can admit I am getting a little ahead of myself, but it has nothing to do with me thinking that she already is "mine". My confidence isn't the best, I'm afraid that I can't outplay this guy should the interest remain after we met each other. She tells me that the other guy is really depressing to talk to and that he always makes everything about himself. The conversations aren't really anything special, sure we flirt once in a while but otherwise it's really casual. Just telling each other how our days have been and whatnot. We've been talking with webcameras on and stuff like that, and play alot of Videogames with each other online (One of our interests that we share). I'm going there by train which takes one and a half hour. I'm skeptical about LDR where you having met the chick yet. But I say go for it. Just make sure you don't get too emotionally invested. Your chick hasn't stopped communicating with dudes who like her becuz you two aren't a couple yet. Why should she stop communicating before you're a couple? When you two decide to be a couple you should really have a long talk about staying exclusive. Plus, you need to work on your confidence. I'm sure you know this. I'm just telling you this because many guys know they need to work on it but don't do anything about it.
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