User987654 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 My girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago after dating for about 14-15 months...we were very serious and doing great the first 13 months...We had a lot of things going on that caused alot of stress on the realtionship...I ended the relationship due to frustreation and pure emotion. It is something I seriously regret and I regret even more the way I handled it...I said some things that were out of character. The past 3 months have been even worse. I have acted needy, I texted every single day, I start fights, I beg, I pleaded...I have apologized and promised to change only to panic and act out again...I know how stupid my actions are and have been, thats not my question. Since we broke up she has said several times that she knows if we can return to the people we were that she knows we will end up together. She admits that she is not over me, but is done with our past relationship. She said that if we date again it will be a fresh start...she is currently seeing someone, he is an old friend whom she works with (it pisses me off, but I am not worried about the long term)...anyway here are my questions... Is it ever too late? I have acted horribly since the break up, is there anything I can do to repair this...Apologizing will not work, I have done that and only screwed it up again...I think its probably better to not explain how I will change but rather just starts doing it and if she wishes to remain close enough to see these changes she will. I guess i am just looking for some advice I now a phase of no contact and basically acceptance and moving on will help greatly...just want some realistic facts on how possible it would be to reapir this.
leoc1973 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Ugh I hate when girls/guys say that it just eats me up. When they say we will probably end up together. My ex did the same crap to me and all it did was keep me hanging. I will tell you exactly what she is doing. She knows you are dying to have her back and I think she is doing a combination of making you pay for what you have done and trying out the new guy knowing you aren't going anywhere. I can see her making you work for it but taking it to the extreme like this is not love! Go complete no contact NOW!! The longer you keep letting her know that you are waiting around for her and not going anywhere the more attached she is going to get to the new guy. If its not too late then go no contact now and if she really loves you she is going to not be able to stomach the new guy for very long.
Author User987654 Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Your right... It may be too late, but I feel like as long as we get to a point where it's not awkward and uncomfortable btw us then I am ok. I obviously want her back...but if I can't have her I at least want us to see each other as the people we are...not the people we have been acting like
offcloudnine Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 I'm in a pretty similar situation with my ex...the main differences are that we dated for 3 years and that it's only been a month since we broke up. I don't know if what she's doing is like what I suspect my ex to be doing. I think my ex is confused with what she really wants, she also tells me that she can see us getting back together someday and wants that as well. I've gone NC, it wasn't easy but I think this is the best you can do right now too. Everyday has been a fight to stay strong, and I hope that we can both walk down a path of personal growth soon, so that if they wake up one day and realize that they left the one they truly love, we would be better people for them and hopefully they will too.
Author User987654 Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 I know what you mean...we talked last night and I told her I apologize for how I acted and how I treated since we broke up...I could tell she is still very hurt by my actions and she cried a good bit...I asked about the new guy and she said they are hanging out still and she is not hanging out with anyone else, but she said she doesn't know what will come of it (sounds like dating to me)...But i kept my cool and simply responded that I understand and if she is happy thats understandable...right before I hung up she said that deep down she knows if we are able to take a break and let the drama blow over that she will want to be with me, but right now she is hurt and confused... I do believe her when she says that because I feel the same way, but also I am not stupid and I am able to read btw the lines...So i didnt respond I just simply said well nobody can predict the future. And I started no contact. I know it will be hard, but i think its important to just man up once and awhile...cant make excuses for myself forever...all calling/texting does is push her to him and make me look desperate...in the end if she is able to see me the way she use to, and same for me then we will be together...but you cant send that message through constant changes in emotion and texting
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