Standing_Firm Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 how do you deal with it?? Truly love having sex with my wife but have had some performance anxiety pop up and am not sure how to deal with it. I am dealing with PE to boot. I have learned some techniques that have enabled me to last longer, but when the prospect of sex pops up, I get a little anxious. FYI.........used to be only me with the HD, now we both have a HD.............LUCKY ME!!!! We have brought some toys and oral techniques into the bedroom so pleasuring her and getting her taken care of is no problem.............I just want to LAST longer and not be terrified to have sex with the wife for fear that I am only going to last 10 or so minutes!!!!!! Anyone have any advice? Please????
pteromom Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 There is nothing wrong with 10 minutes (or even 5 minutes) of penetration. You gotta let go of the fear and work with what you've got. If you come after 10 minutes, you have to work with that. Have you talked to her about what turns her on? THAT is what you need to base your performance on; not on what anyone else says is "normal". If she is satisfied with the oral and toys, you have no worries. Keep doing what works, but let go of the fear and enjoy yourself. You can never go wrong with more kissing/making out, more compliments, and most importantly, listening to her and giving her more of what she wants (both in and out of the bedroom)
Feelin Frisky Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 They prescribe SSRI anti-depressants like Prozac for that. It's not taken every day like a patient for depression would but prescribed for use as needed for it's sexual side effect of "anorgasmia" which is no shortage of wood but just some difficulty climaxing. Lots of men are doing that with the help of urologists or psychiatrists. Other than that make sure you help her to break off a few nuts with your mouth and a toy or two before using your quick shooter. Perhaps a thick condom or two may take away some of the immediate uncontrolability.
volkl1996 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I feel for you as I had the same problem in my marriage. Not so much in the beginning, more the middle to the end. I think it had to do with no longer being in love maybe, her not being a sexual person, me being rejected for so long, etc. Now, I am single, been with 4 woman sexually in the last 8 months, I can go for an hour plus. Not sure what the difference is. I don't even have that "first time" anxiety. So I guess it does have to do with confidence and perhaps your partner. Is there something about her, sexually, that bugs you or is a source of conflict in your relationship? The 4 woman I have been with LOVE sex, are very sexual, are very comfortable in their skin. Maybe my ex not being like that was my issue.
Author Standing_Firm Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I feel for you as I had the same problem in my marriage. Not so much in the beginning, more the middle to the end. I think it had to do with no longer being in love maybe, her not being a sexual person, me being rejected for so long, etc. Now, I am single, been with 4 woman sexually in the last 8 months, I can go for an hour plus. Not sure what the difference is. I don't even have that "first time" anxiety. So I guess it does have to do with confidence and perhaps your partner. Is there something about her, sexually, that bugs you or is a source of conflict in your relationship? The 4 woman I have been with LOVE sex, are very sexual, are very comfortable in their skin. Maybe my ex not being like that was my issue. There is NOTHING about her sexually that bugs me. She is a VERY, VERY attractive woman. I definitely married over my head!! And I love her dearly!! For the first half of our marriage I was doing good to get sex once a month. Now we are up to once a day, sometimes more !! Not complaining at all! When we have sex multiple times a day, obviously, the second and third time I can go for a LOOONNNNGGG time. First time is the area I would love to last a little longer!!
volkl1996 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 There is NOTHING about her sexually that bugs me. She is a VERY, VERY attractive woman. I definitely married over my head!! And I love her dearly!! For the first half of our marriage I was doing good to get sex once a month. Now we are up to once a day, sometimes more !! Not complaining at all! When we have sex multiple times a day, obviously, the second and third time I can go for a LOOONNNNGGG time. First time is the area I would love to last a little longer!! I think you just answered your own question...why do you feel you are in over your head because she is super attractive? THAT is probably the source of your anxiety. She digs you my friend, she married you, relax, enjoy, stop thinking about it.
Author Standing_Firm Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I think you just answered your own question...why do you feel you are in over your head because she is super attractive? THAT is probably the source of your anxiety. She digs you my friend, she married you, relax, enjoy, stop thinking about it. Nuff said! Thanks!
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