NothingButAGlance Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) okay, well somehow reading hundreds of other peoples stories makes this pain feel much better. But...I need some perspective. I was with my ex for 9 months and just like everyone else we were going perfectly good and then slowly issues started to rise and eventually things were done. We have broken up before during the holidays and I gave her some time and she just came back saying she wants me and she "now knows" but obviously not (I have taken her back many times). =/. Long story short for the last month 1/2 we havent been together but she still stayed at my house 3/4 times a week and still practically did everything that couples did just no title. Stupid on my part I know. So I plan a trip with her for a day or 2 for just us because everything was going so well and I figured why not. I find out a day before we are suppose to go that she went to the beach and had some 1on1 pictures with some guy that she said they were just friends and that they werent anything. (Last several weeks she has lied up and down about who he was and that they werent anything). So, I drive to her apartment and throw all of her stuff on her bed and tell her i want my stuff back and to never talk to me again. I simply just wanted my stuff so I could leave and not get into it with her. Basically she stalled and I went off calling her a liar and that she is full of it. So that was 8 days ago and I still havent contacted her or had a text of call from her since. She has been blocked from facebook, but unfortuantely we both work at the same restaurant but thankfully I havent seen her since then nor will I see her for another week. Now...onto my questions.. All the problems start from her "not knowing how to love" <-load of bs. She had an aweful boyfriend for 5yrs and treated her absolutely horrible. I am in no way bragging but I treated her perfect and I have my head on straight and pretty much have my stuff together. I am 22 yrs old, I have a house, a nice car, and Im about to graduate college after this semester. This is an obvious case of Grass is greener garbage because she told me she didnt have time to be single and wants to see what else is out there. This past week has been her spring break and I know she has been out every night partying and having fun. Some of the things I dont understand is she talks to me about getting married by 23 because then she can have a kid by bla bla bla. How can you have these aspirations and still want to see what else is out there when you are already 22 yrs old? I obviously love and care about her more than anything even though every one of our mutual friends tell me she treats me bad. I truly believe that she is a confused person and if she just grew up a little bit than we would be fine. I have some good days and some really tough days since implementing NC, but its like if I could just get a call that would make this process and time going by so much easier because then I know she cares and I can continue to just focus on myself. I know NC is for my own healing and everything and a part of me is still feeling like by the time she grows up I wont want her back anymore but its like I am sooo confused and dont want to lose her because Im essentially ignoring her. Im trying to keep this short but I cant seem to type all of my questions Im feeling. There is no way that I wont eventually get a phone call or text from her apologizing and saying she made a mistake, right? or am i being delusional? I treated her right, always showed her the respect and love and woman deserves and went above and beyond to make her happy; I just pray to god that her next "club/bar" interest isnt the random prince charming and that she is perfectly happy with him right after me. The thought of getting that text/call is what is making NC bareable and allows me to keep going. I know it sounds like Im hanging on to false hope and maybe a little I am. Edited March 26, 2012 by NothingButAGlance
Philosoraptor Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 This is the standard not being happy with what you have but still wanting that stability. While grass is greener may be garbage, this person obviously was never into you that much if you had broken up multiple times in 9 months. Stop contacting this person and move on to someone who is willing to commit to you. 2
Author NothingButAGlance Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I understand its part of the phase but this is what i dont get. I literally walked out on her when she tried to lie more and more about what she and that guy were. And i dont get a single text or anything for a week? It was her spring break and like i said i know she went partying like everyday, so in my head i feel like she is masking her unhappyness... Am i wrong? I was with her for 9 months, no way she cant feel anything? Its like certain days during NC im perfectly fine with focusing on myself and then its like all the memories hit me randomly and full force..
CaliBabe Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 You told her to never speak to you again. She is respecting your wishes. 3
flitzanu Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 cali nails another one. if someone said "don't ever contact me again, you dumb whore liar (ad lib)" i don't think i'd want to contact them. 2
Author NothingButAGlance Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I didnt call her anything to an extreme, i went there to get my stuff and leave not get into anything with her. All i did was say how much of a liar she is and walked out in the middle of her still lying. Point is, if i was lying compulsively about something and my significant other walked out saying not to talked to her; i still think the right/moral/correct thing to do is atleast call and apologize or even explain it. All i feel is as if she is like f it, idc what he feels.
Author NothingButAGlance Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Update: So i just got a text from her after 9 days. I went out with one of me ex's just to say hello and to get my mind off things. Nothing came of it nor did any old feelings come up. and she knows people from work and mutual friends of me and my ex know of her too. her text: "hey, not trying to be a bitch or anything but be careful with her, she has been around and i would hate for you to catch something...just saying looking out for you. have a goodnight." the urge is sooooooo BAD right now; but i think it is exactly what she wants. but i really dont know her intentions of sending me this text. to get a rise out of me? she cant possibly just be caring for me now? she jealous? im just looking for opinions, because if she cares it makes this whole process easier.
flitzanu Posted March 28, 2012 Posted March 28, 2012 Update: So i just got a text from her after 9 days. I went out with one of me ex's just to say hello and to get my mind off things. Nothing came of it nor did any old feelings come up. and she knows people from work and mutual friends of me and my ex know of her too. her text: "hey, not trying to be a bitch or anything but be careful with her, she has been around and i would hate for you to catch something...just saying looking out for you. have a goodnight." the urge is sooooooo BAD right now; but i think it is exactly what she wants. but i really dont know her intentions of sending me this text. to get a rise out of me? she cant possibly just be caring for me now? she jealous? im just looking for opinions, because if she cares it makes this whole process easier. she sounds like a bit of a cunt. she doesn't care about you, she's just being a snotty bitch. not to mention she just insulted your taste in women, and called your ex a slut.
Author NothingButAGlance Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 How did she know you were out with someone? well, they used to work together a long time ago and they have mutual friends. and I went out with ex #2 just as something to do and we stopped by the normal hangout of all my restaurant friends when I found out my recent ex #1 wasnt going to be there. She wanted to just say hello to old friends. I probably shouldnt have taken her there but it was against my better judgement. I really wasnt trying to make her jealous i was just catching up and someone told her from work, i take it. Im just trying to understand why she sent that text. Its not because she is legitamtely worried about me? Im just thinking its cuz she is a little jealous and/or because I havent contacted her in a week and she is worried im moving on
flitzanu Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 well, they used to work together a long time ago and they have mutual friends. and I went out with ex #2 just as something to do and we stopped by the normal hangout of all my restaurant friends when I found out my recent ex #1 wasnt going to be there. She wanted to just say hello to old friends. I probably shouldnt have taken her there but it was against my better judgement. I really wasnt trying to make her jealous i was just catching up and someone told her from work, i take it. Im just trying to understand why she sent that text. Its not because she is legitamtely worried about me? Im just thinking its cuz she is a little jealous and/or because I havent contacted her in a week and she is worried im moving on does the ex #2 have an STD? if she does, then that could be concern that you don't catch the STD from her. if she doesn't, then your ex#1 just called the ex#2 a disease-ridden slut, as i mentioned above. that's not "caring", that's being a catty bitch.
Chi townD Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Im just trying to understand why she sent that text. Its not because she is legitamtely worried about me? Im just thinking its cuz she is a little jealous and/or because I havent contacted her in a week and she is worried im moving on Yeah...jealous. But what does she care, if girl number 2 has been around. She should look in the mirror! Didn't you say that there's pictures of her in one on one action with another guy?
gibson Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) Kids these days... Let's try and hurt one another, use FB as a blunt instrument to cause pain, try and make the other person jealous, smear each other, spread lies, tell everyone each others "secrets", try to one up each other, etc. Both of you need to grow up but sadly, neither will for several years. Edited April 2, 2012 by gibson
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