Exit Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) ... but I'm struggling to put it into action. Basically I have to admit that I love daydreaming about becoming a new, more interesting version of myself, but up until this point I've been unwilling to do the hard work. I feel as though I've totally lost the ability to put long term goals ahead of instant gratification. I've been in great physical shape before and I want to get there again, but putting in months of hard work and dedication just isn't as appealing as eating what I want to eat today and smoking cigarettes and sitting in front of the TV. For months now I've really thought about getting rid of a lot of my possessions, and I've made some progress with that (replaced an entire bookshelf of things that I planned to "read again some day" with an eReader and digital books that takes up half an inch of space in my apartment), thinned out some of my furniture collection, but still, mostly the same thing going on with this goal as well, just not doing the work. I keep thinking about going through my wardrobe and throwing out things that I've owned for years. But I think I have somewhat of a hoarding mentality, because as soon as I start looking through stuff, I'm able to come up with reasons to keep it, despite knowing I haven't used it in the past year+. I know how illogical I'm being. I feel like "ugh, x amount of days to reach this goal, that takes too long", yet obviously procrastinating and not starting at all only extends the process even longer. I hate that feeling of knowing I could have already finished something if I just started a long time ago. I had installed a little countdown clock on the desktop of my computer, counting down til April first, and I remember seeing it at 70+ days and thinking it was kind of agonizing watching it go by so slowly, and feeling like maybe I'd work better under pressure when there was less time left. Now that countdown has 4 days left on it. Those 70+ days sure seem different when viewed in hindsight. They already flew by. I could have done something with them. I dunno what my deal is. This cycle just repeats itself and makes me feel worse. The only thing that sucks harder than knowing certain goals will take weeks or months of commitment, is knowing that more time is going by and I haven't even started yet. Why is it taking so long for my brain to figure out that it makes more sense to just start right this instant, get it over with, and finally be able to stop regretting the wasted time. I don't know what happened to my will power and motivation. I lost it somewhere these last few years. Sometimes I get to the point of asking myself if I should let these goals go. If they aren't going to get completed, then I may as well release myself from them, and not have to experience the guilt of failing. If I'm not going to get in shape, fine, but just accept it, so I can eat a pizza and not feel like I messed something up. But obviously some part of me doesn't want to just forget about these goals either, so I'm stuck. I can't free myself from them and I can't find the drive to complete them Edited March 26, 2012 by Exit 3
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 You have to start building momentum. Just start start something and keep scheduling them for next day, next week, next month, next year, and voila you've started your goal and months later; you've reached your goal. Those +70 days countdown becomes -70 days count up! 1
Philosoraptor Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Cut up your long term goals into short term goals. Completing each task will be its own gratifying reward. You can also make some things that seem like "work" a lot of fun. I really enjoy cooking so when I wanted to lose weight I found it fun to find new healthy recipes. It not only kept me busy, but it helped me lose weight. Turn ditching old things into a way to help people. I took a bunch of things to the salvation army. Not only did I clean up some, but it can go to help others that don't have it as good as myself. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 impossible goals, impossible timescale. get fewer more modest goals, and give yourself no timescale. why work that hard? Why push yourself only to feel guilty because actually, your heart's not in it? Turn every 'should' into a 'could' I should lose weight.... but it's so hard, and I like doughnuts and chocolate and (guilt) I should go for that run...but it's so hard and it's cold and boring doing it on my own....(avoidance) I could lose weight - but if i think about it, there's nothing wrong with the way I look - and summer's coming, so i'll eat more salads, good protein, and fewer carbs.... I could go for that run - but why not find something that would just give me a bit of good exercise with enjoyment added? go swimming, rock-climbing, pony-trekking - or just a walk to the park ro reasd that book! should is a burden. could is an honest release.
Author Exit Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Thanks everyone. Lots of common sense tips. Some things I've thought of before. I know I just need to break things into smaller pieces. Just put down the soda and start drinking water and not worry about 90+ days of exercise or whatever it's going to take. Stop buying cigarettes and put the money towards other things I want. I'll figure it out eventually. Trying to get myself out of this chair to do some cleaning today.
ThaWholigan Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Start small. Can't defeat the world in one day. Nobody is Jack Bauer . I'll elaborate later 1
Teknoe Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I know what you mean when you say you want to change but it's so easy to stay stuck in your old ways. I recently had a breakthrough in that department... please read my thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/316034-i-have-never-felt-determined-before Basically, as others have said, it's taking one step at a time. Before you know it, after 3 months, you will have walked a LONG way. Also, it's about building momentum. See my thread for more. 1
Rimer Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) Exit your post hit me 100% right on I feel totally the same. It's driving me nuts too. Why can't I just start it? Why don't I just give up and eat that hamburger I love? Because I want to start living finally! Why can't I take the first steps? I know the feeling... I feel jammed, coming up with excuses like "will I even be happier if I achieve my goals of getting fit... will it boost my confidence and help me out in life in general and help me find a new gf" You've post me some very good advice before too. jerbear and philo of course are great advisors too Teknoe's posts are very good read Edited March 26, 2012 by Rimer
Recommended Posts