itsalllove Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Hey LS, SO my ex girlfriend broke it off with me after 3 years and I can't begin to tell you how painful it's been. It happened a week ago. Her reasons were vague, until 4 or 5 days past and I asked her if she could give me a more specified reason. Something I can cope with. She wailed on me, cold and unemotional. Like I was smothering her at this point and she didn't want to talk to me at all. Her reasons were she didn't "just flip" the switch of her love for me over night. She said "it's been happening", basically saying she's been working it out, getting over me on her own time and the break up was in the works. However it all seemed like a lie, and she said that she broke it off because she was living a lie, pretending to be happy with me when she was ready to go, but didn't know how to. She said she was living in my feelings and not hers. And she finally realized she has to stop caring about me and start caring about herself for a change. It's insane. Anyways, during the week of the initial break up, I cried so hard, until I felt I could speak to her. And on day 4 I did, acting like we could be cool, be "friends". It only hurt more honestly. Because the next day, I took to her twitter and seen that she was interested in someone else. And all I could think of is, how could she after JUST breaking up with me? This was the day that I asked her to be revealing with me and that's when she said everything I've mentioned above. That's when I decided to apply NC. And I haven't spoken to her since Friday night, which I feel pretty good about. But I'm still hurt and reeling from it. I just feel like, how can she shut off 3 years like that? And how could she move on like I've never existed, and be ok with it? Sucks. It really f'kn sucks guys. But hey, I'm still pushing with NC. I'll be honest though, I do want her back.
robkris8079 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 wow I think I could have wrote this same thing. WAit I actually might have here somewhere. Mine too was like a switch but I know something was in her head before that. But Man there was one specific weekend when she did the 180. Our breakup was 3 weeks ago and have been NC since. This was after a 5 year relationship where up to two weeks before the breakup we were lovey dovey and I was under the impression this was the year to pop the question. Leave her be. You deserve someone that returns your love. You don't want someone that flip flops or just falls out of love with you. It needs to be a mutual thing. Sure there are ups and downs and fights but calling it quits in their heads and not telling us for some time is just plain selfish. Were we not worth a talk to try and figure things out right at the start of it? The answer to that is NO. We are not worth it to them so why are we letting them be worth it to us.
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 of course you do. But unless she wants it too... that's off the table. I was going to post that, dumpers very often have unspoken doubts and feelings quite a while before they actually announce the 'can't feel it any more'.... it seems sudden to the other partner, but to the dumper, it's been bubbling along under the surface for a while... they've just wanted to be sure.... Or; there is someone else, no matter how much they deny it. and whaddya know.....she did have someone waiting in the wings after all, it seems. Reasd the Caliguy no Contact guide in my signature. it's tried, tested and definitely works. oh and make sure you read it. and while you're at it, read it. the reason I emphasise this - is because so many people read it and come back with.... "yes, but...." and "what if....?" It's there. All there. Everything you need to know about No Contact, what it is, why you do it, and for how long. Apply it 100%, and for 100% of the time.
Author itsalllove Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 of course you do. But unless she wants it too... that's off the table. I was going to post that, dumpers very often have unspoken doubts and feelings quite a while before they actually announce the 'can't feel it any more'.... it seems sudden to the other partner, but to the dumper, it's been bubbling along under the surface for a while... they've just wanted to be sure.... Or; there is someone else, no matter how much they deny it. and whaddya know.....she did have someone waiting in the wings after all, it seems. Reasd the Caliguy no Contact guide in my signature. it's tried, tested and definitely works. oh and make sure you read it. and while you're at it, read it. the reason I emphasise this - is because so many people read it and come back with.... "yes, but...." and "what if....?" It's there. All there. Everything you need to know about No Contact, what it is, why you do it, and for how long. Apply it 100%, and for 100% of the time. Thanks for the advice and input:) I actually read the "no contact" thread in your signature before I posted this thread. It helped to actually have a plan of attack, if that makes sense lol. @robkris8079 you're right. I didn't think of it like that, that she was being selfish in her reasoning. And now she can stay there, in her own mind.
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