Broke up but I know we shouldn't have

[Stripey100]

Hi,

 

So my boyfriend and I were together for just over 2 years when things took a bit of a bad turn in my life and I started to push him away. I've always dealt with my emotions inwardly but this time things got too much and we were arguing more and more. I suggested a break because things were getting too much but when we talked after the break, he said that he didn't think our issues could be resolved and that we shouldn't be together any more. I know that he still loves me and there is part of him that does want to be together but he can't seem to equate the fact that I'm having a really difficult time with all the arguments that have been happening.

 

I just want him back, it's been about 3 weeks now and I'm completely alone at one of the worst times in my life. I know he should be here for me but he said things are too intense when we talk. He keeps telling me that if I need him I should contact him because he wants to be there for me but then he ignores me if I do call him or text him.

 

I get that being really heavy about things all the time is going to scare him away more but I can't really help it right now, I'm not coping at all and I just need him to be there for me rather than break up with me. How do I make him see that we will get past this and it's just a rocky patch that I need him through? I love him so much and I know he'll get a couple of months down the line and realise he misses me, thing is, I know at that point that I won't want to take him back if he's not able to be there for me when I need him most.

 

I want to talk to him, what should I say?

Thank you for any help x

 

Ps: I should probably say that our relationship before all this was pretty good, we had a couple of issues along the way which we worked through but they were normal, every day relationship issues. Over all our relationship was fun and we were pretty much best friends, all of this has just started recently (though he can't seem to see that).

Edited March 26, 2012 by Stripey100

[leoc1973]

I don't know... do you really want a partner for your life that can just cut and run every time things get tough? I had pretty much the same situation as you and my ex seems like now that I have my life back together she wants to come back. She wasn't there for me when I needed her most. She ran off with a guy with money and he took her around the world and left me at literally the lowest point in my life. The thing is it was sudden too, its not like it went on for a long time. I am thankful every day I got through it all and glad that it showed me what kind of person she was.

 

You wanna know what to say to him? Tell him that you are thankful that you got to see what fabric he is made of and you don't see a future with him because you need a partner that when one of you is weak the other is there to pick up the slack and he just isn't that guy!

[Stripey100]

Thanks for replying leoc, I get what you say but he hasn't had things easy either and I think that he panics when I get needy, he's never had anyone to be close to apart from me and he's done this so many times before, even if he just thinks we're hanging out too much.

That's why I say I know he'll start to miss me in a couple of weeks, we've been here before and I can read him like a book. I absolutely adore him and I know we're meant to be together, but right now I need him to be strong for me rather than run away. I just don't know how to make him see this before things get too far for me.

I rang him earlier and told him I was going to cut off contact with him but I wanted to see him before I did, he said he'd get back to me about when he was free. I just need to think about what I should say to him to at least make him realise what is happening.