theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) I have had a relationship with my girlfriend for about seven years now. We live together. We made plans to go to a concert in Las Vegas. We live in Vegas. I told my ex-wife that I had to work on the day of the concert. Yes, I lied to my ex. I lied to my ex because she always insults my girlfriend by calling her a 'hooker' or 'whore', which she isn't. My ex just hates my girlfriend's guts. I lied to my ex and our 7-year-old daughter. So, I told my daughter that I had to work on Sunday, and that therefore I couldn't visit with her on that day. I just didn't want to have a nasty confrontation with my ex-wife. I told my girlfriend that I had told my ex-wife that I had to work on Sunday, the day of the concert. You should have seen her face! Her expression changed and she got super pissed off at me. Well, she decided not to go to the concert. We hadn't gone out for a while to have fun. This was our chance. It was so important to me to spend this fun time with her. She told me to make plans to get rid of the tickets because she wasn't going. And mind you! The concert was by a singer that she's CRAZY ABOUT! I asked her the night before the concert if she was sure that she didn't wanna talk about it. She said she was sure and that it was okay. So, I told her, well dear, goodbye! By this I meant that we were breaking up. Apparently, she didn't understand my words to mean this. However, this is the second time that we miss going out, without the kids, to have fun. I am tired of her attitude. I hate fighting. I hate the silence treatment,. I should clue you to the fact that I am 45 years old and she is 30. I feel we must part ways since I think she is being immature. Can you offer your wise insight? Edited March 26, 2012 by theorogelio
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 This is my observation. Sounds like your GF is upset that you lied. She is upset that you might have lied or will lie to her. 2
threebyfate Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Hmm...daughter's seven and you've been together with the current girlfriend for seven years. Any history you've forgotten to mention that's relevant to the animosity displayed by your ex-wife?
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Hmm...daughter's seven and you've been together with the current girlfriend for seven years. Any history you've forgotten to mention that's relevant to the animosity displayed by your ex-wife? I didn't want to say anything until now. Maybe the current GF was the baby sitter?
threebyfate Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I didn't want to say anything until now. Maybe the current GF was the baby sitter?Probably not considering how equal the age/length of time but an affair scenario is possible, particularly when the wife was pregnant. Without knowing more details, giving advice would be like stomping through a landmine field.
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Probably not considering how equal the age/length of time but an affair scenario is possible, particularly when the wife was pregnant. Without knowing more details, giving advice would be like stomping through a landmine field. boom! Yeah, point taken.
Sugarkane Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I didn't want to say anything until now. Maybe the current GF was the baby sitter? I also wondered the same thing. OP which one is The kids mother?
Million.to.1 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 If you break-up with someone you have been with for seven years by saying "well my dear, Goodbye" and that's it, then it sounds to me that you have a major communication problem. She didn't even understand you meant that. Don't you think it's important to make your intentions and reasons clear to someone you have spent so long with? There is more to this story for sure....
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 This is my observation. Sounds like your GF is upset that you lied. She is upset that you might have lied or will lie to her. I am surprised at your quick responses! thank you so much! Upset that I lied to my ex? Why? My ex goes ballistic if I even mention my GF's name. I have toldf my GF that my ex calls her names.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Hmm...daughter's seven and you've been together with the current girlfriend for seven years. Any history you've forgotten to mention that's relevant to the animosity displayed by your ex-wife? Shrewd observation! I used to be my GF's co-worker. We started going out a few months after my daughter was born and my ex told me that she wasn't gonna get back with me. At the time, my ex and I were separated. I was living on my own. My ex paid me a few visits at the office where I used to work and kind of knew my GF when my ex and I were still together. they were not friends. It was just a hi, how are you? kind of thing. My ex gave her a car seat for her little girl as a present to my GF. Because of this, my ex thinks that my GF and I should have waited LONGER to date out of respect.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I didn't want to say anything until now. Maybe the current GF was the baby sitter? No, she was not the babysitter. She was my co-worker.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Probably not considering how equal the age/length of time but an affair scenario is possible, particularly when the wife was pregnant. Without knowing more details, giving advice would be like stomping through a landmine field. No need for a metal detector. I didn't cheat on my ex with my GF. I cheated on my ex with other women, but my GF was my confidant. Ooops! I know! Having said that, my ex is certain I cheated on her with my GF. I tell you the truth that I didn't. I have assured my ex many many times. She says she forgives my infidelities except the fact that I went out with my GF. Believe me I learned my lesson. No man must ever cheat on his woman! Ever! no matter what! I lost so much. I regret my actions. I regret their consequences. My hell is the hurt I caused my family of three children and their mother. If I had the chance to choose again, I would choose my family, not the temporary pleasures of my flesh. But I was out of control. I hate myself for this, and to the day, I cannot forgive myself for what I did.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 I also wondered the same thing. OP which one is The kids mother? My ex is my daughter's mother.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 If you break-up with someone you have been with for seven years by saying "well my dear, Goodbye" and that's it, then it sounds to me that you have a major communication problem. She didn't even understand you meant that. Don't you think it's important to make your intentions and reasons clear to someone you have spent so long with? There is more to this story for sure.... I agree in part. yes, there's a communication problem. when my GF and I quarrel, she gives me the ice treatment. I don't care about the money I spent on the tickets for the show, but I do care about the fact that I work hard for my money, and she didn't care about it. And she knows this! Yet, she chose not to go to the concert. She just told me "figure what you will do with the tickets 'cause I am not going to the concert." This is the second time that we have planned to go out, just the two of us. The first time, we ended up not going out. She blamed it on me. I had told her to choose where we were gonna go. She didn't give me an answer. Days went by. The day to go out came by and she hadn't told me where she wanted to go. So, I figured that she didn't want to go anywhere, and I didn't mention it again. She told me she was expecting me to PICK the place! NICE! I am the type of person that doesn't insist. If you tell me YES, I will take your YES; if you tell me NO, I will take your NO. No questions asked. Anyways, she applied the ice treatment to me. No talking, no texting, no phone calling; nothing. And I can't stand the silence! It drives me nuts! It makes me wanna end it all right then and there cuz I don't think it's worth all the trouble! I don't wanna fight or quarrel. I avoid confrontations.
Million.to.1 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 There is a massive communication problem. Clearly neither of you are being understood by the other and can't communicate what you want/need/feel. guess the break-up is for the best then. 2 people that don't feel understood by each other don't belong together.
Author theorogelio Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 There is a massive communication problem. Clearly neither of you are being understood by the other and can't communicate what you want/need/feel. guess the break-up is for the best then. 2 people that don't feel understood by each other don't belong together. I agree with you. What makes it very painful is that we love each other. I guess sometimes we just have to be more courageous than loving.
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