Just ended long term relationship//religion//family

[Tay]

My now ex boyfriend and I had been dating since the age 17 for 3.5 years. To this day we love each other like crazy BUT his family is first generation from Iran to Canada and are Devoted Muslims. At the beginning I didn't know what that would mean for us because I did not have much knowledge on their religion/culture. Well for the past 3.5 years I have been allowed into his families house only when they don't have guests or extended family over because I am not supposed to be dating him so other people cannot witness us being together. This has been so hard for him and I. (he does not practice religion but has to live at home to get himself through school financially) after years of being sent down to the basement of his house and not being allowed over for family dinners it has finally hit me that the man who I could have seen myself marrying and kids will have a family who wants nothing to do with me. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship from doing sports, activities and always finding new things to do together he treats me well and we connect on so many levels. I have had thoughts of what it would be like with another guy (who has an accepting family) and it sometimes makes me upset because as much as my ex loved me he loved his parents and wanted to keep a relationship with them and me. I don't know where I'm trying to get at with this post. I'm just upset and was wondering if anyone knows what it feels like to not be accepted by someone's family over religion or culture. I wish we didn't have to break up but I can't be hidden from the world while he finishes 5 more years in school.

[Me...IamMe]

I know what it is like to be rejected for religion by my exs family. I am not catholic so I was treated horribly by the mother. Funny thing is I believe in the bible and love Jesus. I just don't subscibe to man made religions. I believe in a relationship with the creator. 5 years I was called everything in the book by a so called Catholic christian, I never said a single thing bad to her. Yet I was let go by my ex. Religion ruins love. Relationship sets it on fire. True selfless love. I'm still learning. God bless. I'm sorry you are hurting. If any of us become religious with our mates,just doing the same old things and never growing it will be dead,and some of us will coexist until death do us part, but never have lived. Relationship is desiring to be intimate with your mate, on all levels that can be achieved. I pray you find this. Religion sucks

[Tay]

Thank you for the reply. I am not religious at all actually. My parents never raised me that way. I still have good morals and for my age I am really mature. I guess I just wish religions wouldnt get in the way of such a loving and caring relationship. His parents were very hypocritical and would let us over and even sleep together but I was hidden when other family came over because even though they believed in Islam they were going against it by letting me stay over. They only cared about what others would think or say. I hope one day when I'm older we will find each other when he isn't so dependent on his parents. I'm only 19 and for now focus on my career and friends and family.

[Me...IamMe]

You will find hypocrites in every religion. Not all people of faith are bad, but I tend to find the ultra religious have the most to hide from public viewing. I may sound preachy and that is not what I want. Everyone has their path to follow. I know for me it was finding that Jesus loved me enough to die for Me. And I believe everyone. Including you. And he doesn't want to be your religion. He wants a relationship with you. My father was a fall down drunk who didn't believe in God and that is the man who was my hero. I also have seen many hypocrites in my family. They are just religious. Can you tell I hate religion? Lol. I believe whatever path you take keep an open heart, but use your gut insticts. If something feels wrong, it almost certainly is. May you find true peace and happiness in a crazy world.