DenumChkn Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 So a new hostess started at my restaurant and I thought she was pretty, most of them are, and then went on with my business like i usually do. Eventually I got to talking to her a bit and more so one night when she came out for drinks with a few of us after work. One of my co-workers said he thought she was being flirty with me and that there were sparks between us. The problem: During those drinks she mentioned something about having a "Not Boyfriend" as she called him. Some guy she has been off and on with for the past 2 years who, from what I've gathered, treats her like a reusable diaper. The night after we had drinks we were scheduled to work together and during the shift at one point she randomly stopped me and said "its funny we were all bashing my boyfriend last night and then I got into a huge fight with him today". It took all of my effort to say "I'm really sorry to hear that" in a non-sarcastic tone and then i walked away because I really didn't know what else to add at that moment. Since that happened about a week ago I've worked with her again and shes been friendly and we've talked a little more but not about her bf or anything that I felt was improving my stock with her. My experience with girls is that they have these ridiculously small and random windows where they are really into you and you have to recognize it and capitalize it, otherwise you will probably lose her interest and not get another shot. Did I already miss my chance when she told me about her bf? What is the best way to ask her out, and should it be in a group environment with people from work or should it be a 'date'? I've never dated a girl I worked with before but since I graduated it is pretty much the only place I meet new girls now. This is the first girl I've felt this kind of attraction to since my ex broke up with me last August. I don't care about affecting my job or whatever - there are already several couples working together at the restaurant and the managers know and dont care as long as everyone gets their work done. Does anyone, guy or girl, have experience with this process of being attracted to someone they work with and ultimately entering into a relationship? I have been attracted to a lot of girls that I work with, but I feel something different with this girl. I never felt a compulsion to act on my attractions to the other girls, this girl I feel like I'm gonna hate myself forever if I don't at least try. I know it's bad to obsess and put all my eggs in one basket so I'm not gonna beat myself up too bad if it doesn't work out, I just know I have to at least try. Any advice is much appreciated.
sLiPpeTh Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Well, DenumChkn... "Not Boyfriend" tells me she's looking for "Captain Save a Hoe" to rescue her; even though she ultimitely prefers to be treated like a reusable diaper. She won't be happy until she sucks some gullible mandingless into her psycho drama. Suck's his soul and wallet dry, then kicks him back to the curb for "Not Boyfriend." Best advice, "Don't pOOp where you eat."
ScreamingTrees Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Well, DenumChkn... "Not Boyfriend" tells me she's looking for "Captain Save a Hoe" to rescue her; even though she ultimitely prefers to be treated like a reusable diaper. She won't be happy until she sucks some gullible mandingless into her psycho drama. Suck's his soul and wallet dry, then kicks him back to the curb for "Not Boyfriend." Best advice, "Don't pOOp where you eat." I think the troll's got the general idea on this one. Don't waste your time, she's already got something going on, and you aren't a part of it. Don't get inbetween 'em regardless of how ****ty a relationship it may seem to be. That's just something that shouldn't be done, unless you're as much of a douche as her boyfriend supposedly is.. They're probably on each other's level anyway, so look elsewhere. There can be "sparks" between you and a ****-ton of other girls out there, go for the ones that aren't unstable or lack self respect. (You seem to think she fits those descriptions. Why would you be interested in that? You don't think you're better than that?)
Author DenumChkn Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Haha, probably some very valid if not very blunt points Mr. Slippeth and ScreamingTrees. Whenever I analyze any potential relationship the odds of success are never in my favor. Most relationships AREN'T going to work, but I'd rather get burned trying repeatedly than be lonely and never know what could have been. You are probably right about me being a douche for wanting to take her from this guy ScreamingTrees, but if she's over him anyways she's allowed to do whatever she wants. I'm not trying to break them up, from how she talks it sounds like they almost already are. I have to be honest too, I really don't know how badly he treats her, it was just clear to me that he had her pretty worked up and upset. As far as being 'on each others level', well guess what I used to be 'on a level' with my ex too, but now we're not and life goes on. I refuse to feel any guilt about the deterioration of their relationship, if shes upset and wants something new that's her choice. I don't really get the impression she lacks self respect. I think it is possible to be in an off and on relationship and maintain your self-esteem and stability. I don't know the exact circumstances of her relationship but she does not strike me as unstable or lacking in self respect. In fact if anything I'd describe her as a strong woman based on my observations and how she presents herself. Yes I will have sparks with other girls, but I got like super-sparks on some other level from this chick: Her body language, her style of dress, her career interests and sense of humor - I don't know if you've ever had this experience but I'd think most guys have, where you are talking to a girl and everything is just clicking perfectly chemistry wise. It has happened to me only a few times in my life and only one of those times did I date one of those girls and it was the best relationship I've ever had. I'm not aiming to be a home wrecker or rush into anything, but I will continue to flirt with her and try to get to know her better. Ultimately the decision is hers, and the boyfriends destiny is in his own hands. We've all broken up with girls that went on to date other guys, I don't cry over spilled milk so I'm not gonna feel bad for this guy if he can't keep his chick happy.
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