LOVEBACK Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I am 33 and she is 26. She has a 1 year old son (not mine.) She broke up with me. Prior to the break up, I paid for her to go with me to Vegas to an industry conference thinking she might want to go with me and enjoy Vegas while I go to the conference. Then we broke up. She insisted on the NC rule, but I felt like we needed to talk about Vegas. I couldnt get the money back and the trip was paid for. I was ok with her going if we could be civil and she could respect the fact of who got her the trip. We couldnt even be civil prior to the trip. I wanted to talk about the trip. She was under the impression she was still able to go. Looking back, I fell for the a broken down woman and trying to "save" her. She had just seperated from her ex husband and going through a divorce. She had moved into her parent's house and is living in their living room on a pull out couch. Her parents are basically giving her a roof over her head for her son. After she had a baby, she decided to divorce her ex, decided it was time for a career change. She quit a 9-5 job as a medical receptionist to go to school full time to persue her passion in photography with a bachelors degree. Keep in mind the school she is going to is about 70,000 dollars total. She will have loans etc. She currently works part time weekends in retail. Is she immature? Emotionally unstable? Thoughts?
westrock Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 What was her reason for her breaking up with you? Sorry, I'm not sure what you're saying about the Vegas trip. What is it you want? You two are NC but you want to talk to her about having her still go on the trip? Why? I think the best thing is that she not go and you just eat the cost on the Vegas trip and go yourself. She broke up with you which means she doesn't get to go on the trip, it's her loss. Seems like she has a lot going on and maybe you should just consider it a blessing in disguise that she broke up with you.
Author LOVEBACK Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 She was still expecting to go to Vegas. That is the thing I don't get.
CC12 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 She was still expecting to go to Vegas. That is the thing I don't get. Weren't you the one who brought up the Vegas thing after breaking up? Yeah, you did, look here: She insisted on the NC rule, but I felt like we needed to talk about Vegas. I couldnt get the money back and the trip was paid for. The trip was paid for already so you again invited her to go with you, right? Wait, though, she's got to "respect the fact of who got her the trip." How should she do that? Maybe you should write a list of your expectations. I think it would be helpful for both of you.
westrock Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 She was still expecting to go to Vegas. That is the thing I don't get. What is it that you are expecting?
Author LOVEBACK Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 That she would have the common courtesy to speak to me about it. Seeing that we would be in "contact." She wanted to go to Vegas to hang out with her girlfriends on my dime.
westrock Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Sorry you're going through this pain. Looks like she doesn't have the common courtesy to speak to you about it. Yes it hurts that she's treating you like this, but you can't force people to have common courtesy. There is nothing you can do other than just let go and move on with your life. If she hasn't gone on the trip yet (it's not clear from your OP) then cancel her ticket, eat the loss, and move on. End of story. Not much else you can do. Whether she's immature or emotionally unstable is no longer relevant.
flitzanu Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 you gave her a gift in the form of a trip to Vegas. now you want her to show you deference because of your financial superiority. what?
brokenTom Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 It doesn't sound to me like she's immature or emotionally unstable. Sounds like she is attempting to improve herself and her situation, going to school for something she is truly passionate about, which in the long term will probably benifit the kid. I would forget about the Vegas trip, either let her go or cancel the ticket (if possible)
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