LOVEBACK Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Me and my ex were at a function through a mutual friend. We were civil and nice. I am trying not to read into it as she wants me back or wants to talk to me again. At what point should I contact her? When is it safe? Who should make the first move? She broke up with me........at first it was mutual, but quickly became bitter (probably my fault for showing signs of desperation.) I want to text her to say hello, but very hesitant. Any advice?
jennisfora Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 don't contact her. she dumped you, she should be the one reaching out when she is ready to talk. also, you should wait a while, and heal, i would wait at least a month if you can, just to give you and her time to think about what you really want. and to let her forget her anger. eventually, she may get nostalgic and think of the good times, but right now is not the time. when someone makes a decision to break up, they tend to expect alot of pleading and begging. it makes them more certain they were right to dump you, because you seem insecure and desperate. just give her time to come around, give yourself time to fix what you did and improve. ideally, you should wait ( dont actually wait, stay active, focus on you) for her to contact, anyway, but if she doesnt after several months, and you think you can handle it, you can. but if she doesnt reach out, she has probably moved on after a certain point.
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Leave the text out. Don't text her, since she dumped you. The civility at the mutual friend's function is just that. Being civilized adults. If you two were to meet at a function, then you can talk to her. Or if you want to you can call her.
citrusdrop1688 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I waited three months to contact my ex. Yes he broke up with me. Yes I acted a little crazy and desperate, and yes he used that. That was all before we broke up the last time. After three months I finally felt ready to move on. But I still HAD to know we couldnt work things out. I had been totally in love with him. I felt like I owed it to us. We had emailed a few times at the 6 week no contact mark, so right in the middle. He knew things were different with me. I wasnt desperate anymore. I wasnt going to let myself be mistreated. Any little piece he was willing to give me wasnt good enough anymore. He knew he had to show me that he cared and was still in love with me. That he wanted me, and would never treat me like that again. We met up, we very slowly started dating and rebuilding things. We didnt actually get back together for 2 1/2 months. And through out that time we really worked on showing each other it wouldnt be like it was before. Now its almost been six months. And Im so glad i gave into that feeling that i was letting go too soon. I think it depends on why you broke up. We loved each other, no one cheated, and neither one of us were with anyone during that three months. We used it to work on ourselves and gain some perspective.
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