EmpoweredWoman Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 So I met this beautiful, intelligent, and sweet woman who is about 5 years younger than me (I'm 35). We have an amazing connection, she makes me laugh, a great body (for her age), pretty face, she took care of me last week when I was sick with the flu, this girl's almost the perfect package but .... She's 30. I mean, I once dated a woman who was 32 and didn't mind. But after going out with some girls in their early 20's, I feel spoiled. I feel really guilty and bad about feeling this way, but it's instinctual. It's evolutionary biology that men have throughout history sought out much younger women, since they produce the healthiest offspring. It's nobody's fault and there's plenty of young women to go around. I could technically try and tame my instincts, but I'm not sure why I should have to? It's just such a huge turn off. I'm strongly considering throwing this fish back into the ocean, and looking for a more young, nubile one (without cottage cheese thighs). What does loveshack think I should do?
PlumPrincess Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 So I met this beautiful, intelligent, and sweet woman who is about 5 years younger than me (I'm 35). We have an amazing connection, she makes me laugh, a great body (for her age), pretty face, she took care of me last week when I was sick with the flu, this girl's almost the perfect package but .... She's 30. I mean, I once dated a woman who was 32 and didn't mind. But after going out with some girls in their early 20's, I feel spoiled. I feel really guilty and bad about feeling this way, but it's instinctual. It's evolutionary biology that men have throughout history sought out much younger women, since they produce the healthiest offspring. It's nobody's fault and there's plenty of young women to go around. I could technically try and tame my instincts, but I'm not sure why I should have to? It's just such a huge turn off. I'm strongly considering throwing this fish back into the ocean, and looking for a more young, nubile one (without cottage cheese thighs). What does loveshack think I should do? Go for someone younger. Who cares. 4
Cypress25 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I could technically try and tame my instincts, but I'm not sure why I should have to? Because most women in their 20s don't want to date 35-year-old men. They generally prefer men their own age. You can blame it on evolutionary biology all you want, but if you ever plan on getting married, you're gonna have to accept the fact that your wife will get old. She'll get gray hair and wrinkles and she'll lose her perfect figure. You can't be with 20-something women for the rest of your life, so you might as well start getting used to the signs of aging. You're 35. Don't you think it's hypocritical that you think a woman who is 5 years younger than you is too old? I've got news for you: the girls you want don't want you. You're too old, buddy. 4
Author EmpoweredWoman Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 Because most women in their 20s don't want to date 35-year-old men. They generally prefer men their own age. You can blame it on evolutionary biology all you want, but if you ever plan on getting married, you're gonna have to accept the fact that your wife will get old. She'll get gray hair and wrinkles and she'll lose her perfect figure. You can't be with 20-something women for the rest of your life, so you might as well start getting used to the signs of aging.[/Quote] My personal experience has been quite the contrary. Often times young women purposely seek out much older men, they really love our wisdom, confidence, and the fact that we know what we want. Younger women love older men, and older men love younger women, it's just a perfect fit. Be a WOMAN and deal WITH IT. I know that it's inevitable, that even women in their 20's get old. But I'm hoping in the next decade or so, science will find a way to end aging in women. If that doesn't happen, I will just have to deal with it when the time comes, possibly find someone new who I have more chemistry with. You're 35. Don't you think it's hypocritical that you think a woman who is 5 years younger than you is too old? I've got news for you: the girls you want don't want you. You're too old, buddy.[/Quote] Do you think it's hypocritical for a 5'1 woman to prefer a man that is 6 feet tall? They are dating based on instinct and evolutionary biology that says very tall men are genetically healthier. I don't get why people instead of addressing my question, are insulting me and calling me a hypocrite. Having a preference is not hypocritical, it's human. I want to have healthy children one day, and a younger woman has a much higher chance of producing healthy sons for me than a woman who is over 30, this is a scientific fact. Every year a woman older than 30 decides to have a baby, the probability of giving birth to a retard grows exponentially. Virtually all men care about age to an extent. GET OVER your age complex Cypress, and realize dating is not a RIGHT, it's a privalege. I have no duty or obligation women who don't do it for me because they're 30 instead of 29, get over yourself. I really don't want you angry and Grandma complected women to post in my threads anymore. If you have problems dating because of your age, just be confident and be the best you can be, you'll eventually find The One. He's waiting out there somewhere for you, even if I myself and most other older men want younger women, there's still plenty of older women who get dates. God didn't know this would strike such a nerve.
Jane2011 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) It's never bothered me that much when older men like younger women. Not saying I particularly like it, and not saying I don't think it's unfortunate for the women those older men's age, but I figure...it doesn't matter that much because there are plenty of older men who like women their age. In my experience, for every older man who says he likes younger women, there's one (or even two) who says, "I can't imagine dating someone that young. I know they look good, but for whatever reason, it just feels more right with women my age. And there are plenty my age who look, well not perfect, but good enough." Another reason it doesn't bother me much is that I tend to be able to snag younger men myself, so it's no skin off my back if a 35 year old guy wants a younger woman. One of that girl's would-be boyfriends is often attracted to me. I bet tons of older women have the same experience of being pursued by younger men. All's fair in love and war. I think people should have the mate they want. So many men I've come across have said to my face that they prefer something in a woman that is something that I don't have and can't possibly hope to have no matter what. I don't get that upset about it. Of course, if someone writes a post in a purposefully inflammatory, insulting way that is meant to get a rise out of people, I think people are going to react. But the whole idea of an older man wanting a younger woman, or a shorter woman wanting a taller man...no big deal. Edited March 25, 2012 by Jane2011 2
Author EmpoweredWoman Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 It's never bothered me that much when older men like younger women. Not saying I particularly like it, and not saying I don't think it's unfortunate for the women those older men's age, but I figure...it doesn't matter that much because there are plenty of older men who like women their age. In my experience, for every older man who says he likes younger women, there's one who says, "I can't imagine dating someone that young. I know they look good, but for whatever reason, it just feels more right with women my age. And there are plenty my age who look, well not perfect, but good enough." Another reason it doesn't bother me much is that I tend to be able to snag younger men myself, so it's no skin off my back if a 35 year old guy wants a younger woman. One of that girl's would-be boyfriends is often attracted to me. All's fair in love and war. [/Quote] Actually you're wrong. I have yet to meet a younger man-older woman couple that wasn't mostly just about sex. Men know older women are easier, since they don't get much male attention after a certain age, so they aim low to get some easy play while they await the more attractive younger women. The "cougar" phenomenon doesn't translate to relationships 90% of the time, it's merely a Porn fantasy of young men that they regret after they've shot their wad. Yet, I can think of countless successful older man-younger woman couples. I think people should have the mate they want. So many men I've come across have said to my face that they prefer something in a woman that is something that I don't have and can't possibly hope to have no matter what. I don't get that upset about it. [/Quote] Yes, but I doubt it's as instinctual and widespread as age. Trust me, after a certain age, most men are just settling for you. It's a general male preference, DEAL WITH IT. Of course, if someone writes a post in a purposefully inflammatory, insulting way that is meant to get a rise out of people, I think people are going to react. But the whole idea of an older man wanting a younger woman, or a shorter woman wanting a taller man...no big deal. [/Quote] Who did I insult? I have a preference. I'm a very successful man and women love my confidence, I can date whoever I want and if people get mad it's their own low self-esteem that is to blame for their dating woes, not men like me who date younger women every time when we have the choice. It's inexplicable, but makes us feel more masculine. I love Janes philosophy, date whoever you want people. Now can someone please respond as to whether dumping a perfect 30 year old so that I can date a sub-par 29 year old makes logical sense?
Jane2011 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Actually you're wrong. I have yet to meet a younger man-older woman couple that wasn't mostly just about sex. Men know older women are easier, since they don't get much male attention after a certain age, so they aim low to get some easy play while they await the more attractive younger women. I'll have to tell my 38 year old friend who's engaged to a 24 year old about that. I bet that's going to put a lot of doubt in her mind as to what his motives are for trying to buy a house for them and changing a lot of his lifestyle just to make sure she's happy. Yes, but I doubt it's as instinctual and widespread as age. Trust me, after a certain age, most men are just settling for you. It's a general male preference, DEAL WITH IT. You'd be surprised. A lot of women look extremely young for their age. For every fat woman out there, there's one who's a fitness freak and weighs the same today that she weighed 10 years ago. Not to be all Asian-conceited, but I look way younger than my age. So do a lot of women, even non-Asian women. I think someone mentioned in another thread that Black women age very well too. True. I've seen so many black women who I thought were 27 or so who I found out were like 42 or 43. Ergo, men take them kinda seriously because they see the youthful looks on top of being kind of established... Who did I insult? I have a preference. I'm a very successful man and women love my confidence, I can date whoever I want and if people get mad it's their own low self-esteem that is to blame for their dating woes, not men like me who date younger women every time when we have the choice. It's inexplicable, and makes us feel more masculine. Oh, I actually wasn't referring to you in particular as far as the "insulting, inflammatory" thing. Just posters in general. Even I was recently called out for phrasing what was essentially a pretty tame thing in a somewhat controversial way, using the word 'spoiled'. People reacted, and I suppose rightfully so. But the whole concept of being shorter and thinking taller men are attractive -- nothing horrible about that. Nor is there anything horrible about being 35 and desiring a 22 year old woman. Sure, some people are gonna eye-roll or cry "immature man," but they can do that all they want, right? There's no problem with wanting what you want.
Tybalt Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Absolutely, I agree with Johan. Dump the perfect 30 year old, there will be someone who doesn't have the age parameter preference that you do who will thank his lucky stars you let her go. And if the next girl who has the right decade numeral in her age is "sub-par", if your preference for younger women is satisfied, it sounds like it won't really be a problem for you. People can date whomever they want, as long as they are consenting adults. If I only want to date a guy with a tattoo of a monkey on his rear end, I have the right to that preference. I would just have to recognize that my "dating pool" might be limited. It sounds like yours isn't, so go for what you want. You won't do any 30 year old a favor by holding your nose and dating her anyway.
Cypress25 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Do you think it's hypocritical for a 5'1 woman to prefer a man that is 6 feet tall? Yes, I do think it's hypocritical. It doesn't make any sense to me. I'm 5'1" and I much prefer men in the 5'7" to 5'9" range. I'd rather not date men who are taller than that. This is where your evolutionary biology theory falls flat, because not all women prefer tall men. I really don't want you angry and Grandma complected women to post in my threads anymore. If you have problems dating because of your age, just be confident and be the best you can be, you'll eventually find The One. I don't have problems dating because of my age. I'm only 26. That's how I know that most women my age prefer men in their mid to late 20s. I wouldn't want to date a man your age, and none of my 20-something friends would either. And I definitely wouldn't want to date a man with your attitude, no matter how old he is. Now can someone please respond as to whether dumping a perfect 30 year old so that I can date a sub-par 29 year old makes logical sense? No, it doesn't make any sense, because that 29-year-old will soon turn 30 and then you'll have to dump her and find someone new. It's an endless cycle, and you are rapidly approaching the age where younger women will start rejecting you because of your age. You're living in a fantasy world if you think you'll always be able to get any woman you want. And women in their 30s have healthy babies all the time. Many women prefer to wait until they turn 30 to start having kids anyway. Have you considered the fact that many women in their 20s aren't ready for kids yet? Or are you planning to grab the woman you want and impregnate her against her will? Really, women aren't baby machines. You might want to choose your romantic partner based on personality, attraction, and compatibility, rather than fertility.
maybealone Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Now can someone please respond as to whether dumping a perfect 30 year old so that I can date a sub-par 29 year old makes logical sense? I think it makes logical sense in your case because if this 30-year-old is as amazing as you say, then she deserves to be with someone who appreciates her for who she is. She doesn't deserve to be with someone who thinks her body is good "for her age" or who will always wonder if he would have been better off with a younger woman. I was one of those women who, in my 20s, was more attracted to guys about 10 years older than me. Unfortunately, the 10-year age difference when the woman is in her 40s and the man is in his 50s can be quite a problem as it is in my case. But many other relationships with age differences like that do quite well. 1
missyme04 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I think it makes logical sense in your case because if this 30-year-old is as amazing as you say, then she deserves to be with someone who appreciates her for who she is. She doesn't deserve to be with someone who thinks her body is good "for her age" or who will always wonder if he would have been better off with a younger woman. I so agree! she deserves someone to love her
Anela Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I think that EmpoweredWoman is trying to wind up those of us who are over 30. I felt better about myself when I was 28, than I did at 21. I felt just as good at 33/34, if not better. More self-confidence, more life experience, etc.
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