BMZMJ Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Dear companions LOL, quick background on the story. Today is day 13 of NC. her last text was this: (no reply from me) "'Just reminding you that my personal space is important to me right now. dont contact me because that will just confuse me more. If our lives are meant to be...then I will wait for my sign...God will be my guidance..and I believe he wants me to be happy no matter my decission...Respond yes if you understand...Whatever I decide, it will be for the best, I just know it...Thank you for your patience and understanding...I dont know how long it will take but time should not matter if love is life long..Take care XXXX..." In addition, she met with my mom this past week and told her she is missing me a lot, feels a 'knot' in her stomach, that she adores me, but that the wounds are still fresh, and that she was upset I wouldnt bring her on a trip, etc.. Nevertheless, it doesnt seem to be enough for her to want to contact me... She asked for 'time' and I have given it, so it is very hard for me to accept this is really over. I have accepted that we are not together now but I can't get rid of this hope that she will contact me one of these days... 13 days without contact is the longest in our 5 year relationship, and I'm really trying hard not to break NC.
jennisfora Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 she will reach out eventually, most likely, especially if she is talking to your mom. eventually your mom will probably stop accepting, giving out info and she will have to find another source to keep tabs on you. Whether she will reach out to get back together i dont know. i think she is trying to keep you hooked while she does her own thing. i dont think you should let yourself be used like that, personally. actually, if she knows or thinks you are waiting for her, she will probably play around longer. because she will feel secure in her fallback plan. don't be an option. she might actually believe she is losing you, and reach out. but right now, you are on hold, not lost. it seems odd, but letting her go, is the only way to have a chance at getting her back. so let her go. *hugs*
Pens55 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I agree, you should move forward. The mindset should be "this girl doesnt love me unless proven otherwise" rather than the other way around. Allowing yourself to stay stuck will not make you feel better..even if she does come back, there's no telling how long it will take. But if you choose to move foward, better yourself and meet new people, there are endless possibilities. Maybe you will find yourself happier alone, you might meet someone better, or your ex might come back anyway. I guess my point is that trying to heal and "do you" is the option in which there is no way to lose.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Even if she reaches out to you, there's no guarantee that she'll want to get back together. If she broke NC for small chit chat or to ask to be friends or something along those lines, it would only hurt you. Be careful what you wish for. So, my advice, although easier said than done, is to try not to dwell on whether or not she'll contact you. You can't control her, but you can take control of your life. Take care of yourself, try to block out thoughts of her and if she does eventually reach out, you can cross that bridge if/when you get there. It's better to heal and work on yourself now so that your next relationship(whether it's with your ex or someone new) will be more fulfilling than your last. That way, whether she contacts you or not, you'll still end up a winner.
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