nyckidd Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Soo there's this girl at my job and everytime were around eachother we say hello and that's it. I always found her cute but she never seemed interested. The other day she was at a party that I was at and the next thing you know were dancing and she's telling me that she always thought I was so good looking but thought I was cocky so she didn't want to be just another girl giving me attention etc My friend even said how this has been prolonged cause she liked you for a while. Anyway the whole night she's on my lap, were flirting, dancing, etc. Me and my friends met her and her friends at the club the next day and it was weird because we only danced a little and she basically left too without saying anything. Im not one to usually "stress" a girl but I am interested in why one night she's all over me, "praising" my good looks and flirting and the next she backs off. Any input?
Author nyckidd Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 When she was sitting on your lap all that time you should have tried to kiss her. It doesn't sound like you even tried. Most women don't like it if they basically offer themselves up to a guy and the guy doesn't make a move. When you failed to make a move the first time it threw everything off. The next night when you danced again you had some catching up to do but you did nothing to escalate. Your window of opportunity may have closed for now, and perhaps forever. It's not a conscious thing on the part of most women, but if the guy doesn't make a move when the opportunity is presented, it's a turn-off. (By the way if you're not going to try to kiss a girl who's just told you she likes you and is sitting on your lap for the whole evening when exactly were you planning on doing it?) You'll be lucky if you get another chance with this one, but if you do, you have to go in for the kiss even if you're fearful. If you don't get another chance with this one, just put it behind you, chalk it up to experience, and try to do better with the next one. By the way, don't start mooning over her and stalking her at work. --Yea I def should have made a move on her, I guess I thought Maybe I should try to get her alone since there's other co workers around etc. IDK I messed that up and I'm glad you pointed it out. And so do you think I should contact her at all, or just completely brush it off?
dasein Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Agree with Platoxsocrates, she gave you a green light and left the ball in your court. I don't think you have blown anything, to the contrary actually, as you didn't just rise to the bait like a dumb fish. You left her to wonder. Now it's time to step up and make something happen, call her, not text, not email, not FB, but call her and ask her out. If she says yes, proceed. If she says no, come back here and we will help you feel better by calling her a tease. 1
Author nyckidd Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Liquoid courage, perhaps? yea this could be..but still, even my friend said she felt like that for a while.
Black Jack Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Soo there's this girl at my job and everytime were around eachother we say hello and that's it. I always found her cute but she never seemed interested. The other day she was at a party that I was at and the next thing you know were dancing and she's telling me that she always thought I was so good looking but thought I was cocky so she didn't want to be just another girl giving me attention etc My friend even said how this has been prolonged cause she liked you for a while. Anyway the whole night she's on my lap, were flirting, dancing, etc. Me and my friends met her and her friends at the club the next day and it was weird because we only danced a little and she basically left too without saying anything. Im not one to usually "stress" a girl but I am interested in why one night she's all over me, "praising" my good looks and flirting and the next she backs off. Any input? Dude she sat on your c*ck but you didn't go in for it? Aww man dude you messed up badly. Try to go ALL IN next time.
Phantom9309 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Won't know unless you call her and I'm stressing call in this situation. Also, you could say that her comment about you being cocky threw you off, so you didn't want to do anything that made you look like a player. Probably best to play that card after you get the first kiss.
Author nyckidd Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Dude she sat on your c*ck but you didn't go in for it? Aww man dude you messed up badly. Try to go ALL IN next time. I know!! Don't know what I was thinkin!!
Author nyckidd Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 Won't know unless you call her and I'm stressing call in this situation. Also, you could say that her comment about you being cocky threw you off, so you didn't want to do anything that made you look like a player. Probably best to play that card after you get the first kiss. Yea I'm going to today, cause honestly even if things got weird it just doesn't even matter. I have to many good things going on and girls come and go all the time. But yea that would be a good thing to say
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 She wants you to make a move since she doesn't want the normal attention you get from girls or what not make her seem like she's just another girl. She wants YOU to come after her, and It seems you are kind of falling for it. She knew that blowing you off at the club a little bit was going to mess with your head, especially since she was so forward the other day yet nothing came of it. Plus she obviously seems to have three peas to rub together instead of two for a brain, so she's kinda playing a game with you...but you don't indeed seem to be the "player" she may have made you out to be since you weren't more assertive in your actions (not that you had to, but you should have left her wanting more), or even make any future plans or contact with her much. And you seem to be the one flustered in a situation where you should have it under control If you were "player" like. That may work in your favor though, or she may just get bored with you. If you make a strong move now It's going to make you look like you're chasing and that might just give her too much satisfaction in which she might just play you for a fool, so you'd rather have her think you're a little cocky and confident in this moment than to start the chase. Don't react directly to her actions, for example she blows you off at club and then you come running and wonder why she's not giving you the attention anymore. You can take the chance but that may end badly for you. Otherwise pretend It wasn't a big deal and like it never happened. At the club you should have just kept on like you didn't even notice she was gone. As this blows over, wait for another opportunity to come up out of "coincidence" and then make your move, because you need to make the move on your watch not hers. You obviously know how she feels about you and she doesn't know how you feel about her....so the balls still in your court, I wouldn't just blow it on pursuing her strongly and then leading you on some goose chase. If she wanted it to progress and be genuine she would have spent more time with you at the club then kissed you right there, but instead she wants a chase. She already put herself out there, but It also doesn't mean you should just jump on her aggressively at this point, that ship kinda sailed for now and she might lose interest. 1
Author nyckidd Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 She wants you to make a move since she doesn't want the normal attention you get from girls or what not make her seem like she's just another girl. She wants YOU to come after her, and It seems you are kind of falling for it. She knew that blowing you off at the club a little bit was going to mess with your head, especially since she was so forward the other day yet nothing came of it. Plus she obviously seems to have three peas to rub together instead of two for a brain, so she's kinda playing a game with you...but you don't indeed seem to be the "player" she may have made you out to be since you weren't more assertive in your actions (not that you had to, but you should have left her wanting more), or even make any future plans or contact with her much. And you seem to be the one flustered in a situation where you should have it under control If you were "player" like. That may work in your favor though, or she may just get bored with you. If you make a strong move now It's going to make you look like you're chasing and that might just give her too much satisfaction in which she might just play you for a fool, so you'd rather have her think you're a little cocky and confident in this moment than to start the chase. Don't react directly to her actions, for example she blows you off at club and then you come running and wonder why she's not giving you the attention anymore. You can take the chance but that may end badly for you. Otherwise pretend It wasn't a big deal and like it never happened. At the club you should have just kept on like you didn't even notice she was gone. As this blows over, wait for another opportunity to come up out of "coincidence" and then make your move, because you need to make the move on your watch not hers. You obviously know how she feels about you and she doesn't know how you feel about her....so the balls still in your court, I wouldn't just blow it on pursuing her strongly and then leading you on some goose chase. If she wanted it to progress and be genuine she would have spent more time with you at the club then kissed you right there, but instead she wants a chase. She already put herself out there, but It also doesn't mean you should just jump on her aggressively at this point, that ship kinda sailed for now and she might lose interest. You put this all into good perspective. I'm kind of glad now that I haven't talked to her since because I would have just been chasing her then. But then the question is, when do I initiate contact?
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Right now, the best thing to do is to TALK TO HER You're in the same office, seeing each other and the best thing to do is approach her and let her know what you feel. You're the guy so you should make the first move. Hope this helps You can do it!
Author nyckidd Posted March 27, 2012 Author Posted March 27, 2012 Right now, the best thing to do is to TALK TO HER You're in the same office, seeing each other and the best thing to do is approach her and let her know what you feel. You're the guy so you should make the first move. Hope this helps You can do it! Well te thing is I won't see her until next week prob because I wasn't scheduled to work until next wed( I don't work that much because I'm still in school full time) so that would boy leave me with the option of contacting her by phone..!
missyme04 Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Well te thing is I won't see her until next week prob because I wasn't scheduled to work until next wed( I don't work that much because I'm still in school full time) so that would boy leave me with the option of contacting her by phone..! It's fine if you're going to contact her by phone And when you see her personally, it wouldnt be that hard for you. She's in to you, make your move and go go go
Author nyckidd Posted March 30, 2012 Author Posted March 30, 2012 Yea so we had a convo yesterday and it went no where!! Strange but I'm done talkin to this girl, ahhh it's gunna be awkward at work!! Lol
filani Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 @ nyckid I totally agree with Ninja's analysis of this girls behavior , she was TOTALLY trying to set up a chase dynamic but thankfully you didn't fall for it like most other guys would. If you had fallen for it ,she would have had you jumping through hoops for her while she probably does little or nothing back for you, is that what you want ? The fact that she acted weird on you when you called her proves she's upset you didn't fall for her mind games .if she was really into you the way she claimed then phone call would be proof of your interest in her and you would think that it should make her happy. Don't you dare go to work and act awkward around her! It's important to show her that your life didn't miss a beat. If she's nice to you be nice to her as well and if she ignores you then do likewise. Don't beat yourself up over this chick bro the ball is in her court. If she wants you then she needs to WOMAN UP and make it happen, if she doesn't even try then just tell her NEXT !!!
rickys Posted March 30, 2012 Posted March 30, 2012 She has given you a signal and now its your turn to do something. You should talk to her via phone, msg her and try to find out that is she really interested in you or not....
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