xztjohn Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 i check it from time to time, but ever since spring break ive been constantly checking my ex fb to see wat she is up to. before spring break she called twice late at night on both days and sent me a trxt saying can i ask you a bio question i dot wanna fail. i jus ignored like ive been doing for 3 months now. keep in mind we had a nasty break up where she left me for some other guy and had sex with him soon after. so why now am i looking at her fb so much i blocked her from my acct but have other ways of checking. cant control myself. i dont wanna go back to my old ways where i had to check.
cflowers32 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Wow, and you've been doing so good otherwise. Just ask yourself this, are you willing to deal with what you are looking for? I unfriended mine and I REFUSE to look at his site. I don't want to torture myself, I don't deserve it, you don't either.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 i check it from time to time, but ever since spring break ive been constantly checking my ex fb to see wat she is up to. before spring break she called twice late at night on both days and sent me a trxt saying can i ask you a bio question i dot wanna fail. i jus ignored like ive been doing for 3 months now. keep in mind we had a nasty break up where she left me for some other guy and had sex with him soon after. so why now am i looking at her fb so much i blocked her from my acct but have other ways of checking. cant control myself. i dont wanna go back to my old ways where i had to check. My ex blocked me out of malice--but I can't' help but wonder if he still checks....Do NOT keep checking if the wound it open. Please. You owe it to yourself, you are only hurting YOU, by doing this. Some things are not on a need to know basis. I found pictures on my newsfeed of my ex and his new g/f; and it opened the wound terribly==he NEVER put pics of us up or of our trips. It made me extremely sad and bitter to see that he is putting her on a pedestal while he cut me down. I came on here and posted about it in "Coping". We are hurting ourselves by checking when we are still hurting. You can't unsee certain things. I would check his fb in the hopes that she is no longer on there and he is alone again in his misery. But...I don't think that will happen and what good will it do us to go there? let her be the one to check on you!!! 2
christine393 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Just stop checking COMPLETELY! Cold turkey. Right now. Don't ever check it again. This is your time to prove that you are a strong person. Stronger after the breakup and you have the willpower to not check. I used to do that as well. But I realized very fast that every time I would check his page, I would feel hurt and upset all over again. It reopens all of these terrible wounds. You might as well look at pictures of the two of you! Just stop! I promise you will feel so much better! 1
Author xztjohn Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 easier said and done. i get really curious about how she is doing. break ups suck but it gets better. its been 6 months now and i can deff say it gets better.
Author xztjohn Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) yeah i just checked her fb turns out she didnt even go back to home yet she chilling with that guy. Man I know I shouldn't check but it pisses me off. Like she doesnt care for my feelings when she said she does care. She calls and texts me , while I just ignore her. A part of me wants to just yell at her and speak my mind cause I have been holding it in. I was so nice to her after our break up when she did all this horrible **** to me. It gives me more of a reason to continue ignoring her. We broke up for 6 months now. First 3 months was so much drama where she wanted me back but I refused cause she had sex with this guy. The last 3 months is barely any contact all of it is initiated by her, she would call me from uknown numbers to. Edited March 25, 2012 by xztjohn
Sugarkane Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 From experience it really hurts like he'll if they're posting their new SO on there. Especially if they never did that with you. 1
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I think in your case you need to defriend your ex. I have a few ex's on FB and I know friends who have ex's as FB friends. Having ex's as friends on FB is not for everyone.
Author xztjohn Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 yeah I did defriend her and blocked her soon after we broke up. She said she got really hurt when I broke up with her through facebook. I have ways of checking and I can't help myself from not checking sometimes, I am curious. I know my friends fb password and I check sometimes, its been 6 months but it isnt as bad as it was before where I HAD to check. I just don't understand how someone that you thought you knew could do such cruel things to someone.
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I just don't understand how someone that you thought you knew could do such cruel things to someone. You are a human being and psychologically what you did was a defense mechanism. Don't be so hard on yourself. Forgive and forget will let you be one step closer to healing.
Author xztjohn Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 she was the one that did cruel things to me. Our break up was pretty nasty. What did you mean im being too hard on myself?
jerbear Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 It is ok to be angry and hard on yourself. It is part of your defense mechanisms. You are hard on yourself because of the nasty breakup. There were hurtful words used on both sides. And you are still upset at the breakup and being hard on yourself about the cruel things. The "sweet innocent woman" are the worse, as a guy, you feel bad when she gets upset that you defriended her; you also had trust in the relationship, so you add her back giving her a safety blanket. I defriended an ex right after we broke up. It was relatively amicable. Without going into details she understood and added me back. I just don't understand how someone that you thought you knew could do such cruel things to someone. To be honest, the worse are the hurtful actions and words. How someone you knew, trusted, and loved could be so vile. Their actions and words felt like they stabbed you though the heart. Some of the things they do with their SO you two didn't / won't do; that hurts. Finding out that you fell by the wayside and she is happy; that hurts. Just stop looking and stop caring because she isn't looking or caring. You were in the could have should have, would have stage. It is still bothering you now. Even after these months, so don't be so hard on yourself. Go do something else for yourself. Grow and move on. 1
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