Do women feel scared when men watch them?

[Necris]

Yes. It is uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Very, very few women think that the guy staring at them is a psychopath. That would be silly, yes. But to be cautious of the guy staring at them? Totally understandable.

 

Necris, have you ever had a guy stare at you? If not, put yourself in those shoes. You walk into a store and the male clerk is staring at you from the second you walk in. You're not trying to catch anyone's attention or anything, but this man is eyeing you. What would you think of that? Maybe you'd think he thinks you're going to steal something, or maybe he's totally gay for you, or maybe he's trying to start **** with you. Who knows? How would you react to this man staring at you? Would you like it?

 

Actually I have had people stare at me at times it depends where I am, who they are, and how they are staring at me. Generally I take note of it and briefly try to determine why they are behaving so strangely but it really doesn't bother me much at all. They can stare all they want as long as they aren't following me or something. Staring only becomes uncomfortable for me if multiple sets of eyes are all staring at me for some reason (walk into room everybody is staring then there is an issue). The only time I remember being recently bothered by a simple stare was when I was trying to cross the street to get home and this guy suddenly appeared in front of me (flashstep?) almost a foot away from my face and started staring deep into my eyes without saying a word "I'm like the **** is your problem?" and he went away and I felt annoyed for about a minute or two and then I forgot all about it.

Edited March 26, 2012 by Necris

[CC12]

The only time I remember being recently bothered by a simple stare was when I was trying to cross the street to get home and this guy suddenly appeared in front of me (flashstep?) almost a foot away from my face and started staring deep into my eyes without saying a word

 

Thank you for understanding.

[Necris]

Thank you for understanding.

 

I think that was a bit more extreme than the OP, I thought the guy wanted a fight or something since he passed my personal space boundaries unannounced at an usually quick pace.

[CC12]

I think that was a bit more extreme than the OP, I thought the guy wanted a fight or something since he passed my personal space boundaries unannounced at an usually quick pace.

 

Understood. It's difficult to tell what the other person's motive is, especially when they pass your personal space boundaries. I agree.

[Dust]

Do women feel scared when men watch them? Answer yes!

 

Now in some ways I'm a very scary kind of guy! I think it works for me though. You see when you're truely intimidating other women know you'll scare off the other guys. Kind of like being a lion. So you know what I say let women be women, I'm a man and I will be scaring them and loving it!

 

You know some times I stare at a hot chick and bam she drops something. Its like oh yeah go pick it up, you got it just bend over and pick it up. It's like thank you universe.

 

To all the guys who get twisted out of shape of women worrying about rapist and other meanies... just let them. You know you're not a rapist or meanie so don't let it bother you. You just keep watching them cause oh yeah its good!

[EmpoweredWoman]

Real jist of the matter: women are just rude children and feel that a guy that isn't "hot" at first glance isn't worth their time.

 

Mass murderers and violence? Think of the greatest serial killers of women ever. Ted Bundy? The Night Stalker? Rodney Alcala?

 

All of them had wild success with women, and lured them to their deaths solely via their looks and saying a few stupid nothings.

 

The guys I know who stare are by and large guys who are shy, unattractive, but like to look at women (Feminists want to make this a crime of course). Women see a balding chubby looking their way, and they scream for help, not out of fear of being attacked, but rather because they're grossed out.

 

I've had unattractive women hit on me, some of them were REALLY unattractive and have to admit, when they get persist it can be obnoxious. But that's about the extent of it, the idea that only shy ugly/poor/short/whatever men who stare at a pretty girl rape and kill women or even have a higher probability of it, is absurd. Most women are ironically, usually victimized by someone they already know. Most of the trouble women get into is from that hot , perfect looking superficially charming ex-Frat boy you feel "spoiled" by who feels like smacking you around because you won't let him watch the game. The guys who hurt women are most of the time , ones that know they can get away with it.

 

Stop making excuses for being a damn bitch. None of you would dial 911 if Hugh Jackman was leering at you (unless it was for an ambulance from you passing out), and he's just as likely to have festering anger about women or more (good looking guys who get lots of women easily, ironically tend to hate them the most as they know just how filthy, scheming, and lowly women can be by cheating on their husbands or friendzoning good men).

 

 

Besides, when did women start fearing murderers and rapists? Ted Bundy probably got more female attention behind bars than all the men on this forum put together have in their lives.

Edited March 26, 2012 by EmpoweredWoman

[CC12]

Real jist of the matter: women are just rude children

 

How can anyone take you seriously after you say something like that?

[Woggle]

So since in that other thread many of these women agreed that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore how are men supposed to meet women without making them feel creeped out. It's just that the messages of these threads seems so contradictory and some of the same women in this thread who are saying that men should never approach women are the ones were bashing men not having the balls to approach them. Is it any wonder why some men just start to feel it is easier to look at porn instead?

[Dust]

So since in that other thread many of these women agreed that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore how are men supposed to meet women without making them feel creeped out. It's just that the messages of these threads seems so contradictory and some of the same women in this thread who are saying that men should never approach women are the ones were bashing men not having the balls to approach them. Is it any wonder why some men just start to feel it is easier to look at porn instead?

 

If you try not to creep women out you'll only creep them out more. Just let them talk and be youreslf even if it scares the poop out of them.

[CC12]

If you try not to creep women out

 

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME NOT TO CREEP WOMEN OUT.

 

Just kidding.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I'm angry that I'm a virgin at 42 and that my longest relationship is three weeks. I'm angry that agressive *******s are ruining any chances I have. I ****ing give up. No females desire me and I don't get how to be social. I've tried by most of my 42 years and it doesn't work. I've asked guys who are successful and most tell me it comes "naturally". WTF?

 

Rob, I can understand the anger. But the reality is that your anger isn't helping your situation. People CAN and DO pick up on other emotions. They might not always know what the emotion is or why it's there, but if they sense a negative emotion coming from someone, they will avoid that person. Now I am not saying that is your entire situation. But what you are currently doing isn't working. It's time to do something different. I really think you should make time for yourself to go talk to a professional. That could help you work out these issues and practice becoming more confident in yourself as a man. You really need to work on developing yourself and try to understand women, for the positive. Because until you do, you will never be able to have a good relationship with one. You can't have a godo relationship with a woman if you are filled with anger and bitterness toward them. I

[Easyguy14]

This is the impression I'm getting nowadays. At work, a female coworker claimed to feel anxious when one guy watched her from his car at the red light. Mind you, they were both in cars. So what? He didn't utter a word.

 

Another coworker stated that a customer entered our workplace and told her she was beautiful and looked at her for a while. She panicked. Oh wow really?

 

Last but not least, an older female colleague of mine in her 40s said that a man watches her from the above terrace of her apartment building almost every day and she's considering notifying security about the issue since it makes her feel so uncomfortable. I just looked at her with a blank face at listening to this drivel.

 

Now ladies, have men these days really struck so much fear in your little hearts that even our eyes are giving you the willies? I truly wonder.

 

women are surely rattled by men's eyes that's for sure. they do it to me so I elected not to look much anymore because of this. I personally think women need to get over themselves with this high wall they have up just because of past issues. every new man deserves the benefit of the doubt.

[udolipixie]

So since in that other thread many of these women agreed that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore how are men supposed to meet women without making them feel creeped out.

Probably best suited to follow social norms, be aware of differing personal boundaries, realize you are a stranger who's likely to be bigger/stronger so trust may not be automatic, and if you want to eye sex or stare at something to get off or appreciate attractiveness use porn to derail someone feeling

 

It's just that the messages of these threads seems so contradictory

Perhaps it's contradictory because people tend to have different opinions.

 

Recall

I think men would only be confused if they don't consider women human beings with different tastes and but a hive mind operating like Rubik's cube who turn into a pocket pussy that doles out sex and relationships when he does this & that. So all that is needed is the right set of operations rather than her being a human being who wants attraction and has preferences.

 

 

and some of the same women in this thread who are saying that men should never approach women are the ones were bashing men not having the balls to approach them.

This would be contradictory to me.

 

Really some of the same women..care to pull quotes to back up this claim?

 

Where exactly do you see women saying men should never approach women?

 

Is it any wonder why some men just start to feel it is easier to look at porn instead?

I'm not seeing how this is a bad thing. If more men used porn to fulfill their sexual needs perhaps there would be far less whining by men about women not wanting them and fewer men expecting women to dole them out sex.

[BetheButterfly]

This is the impression I'm getting nowadays. At work, a female coworker claimed to feel anxious when one guy watched her from his car at the red light. Mind you, they were both in cars. So what? He didn't utter a word.

 

Another coworker stated that a customer entered our workplace and told her she was beautiful and looked at her for a while. She panicked. Oh wow really?

 

Last but not least, an older female colleague of mine in her 40s said that a man watches her from the above terrace of her apartment building almost every day and she's considering notifying security about the issue since it makes her feel so uncomfortable. I just looked at her with a blank face at listening to this drivel.

 

Now ladies, have men these days really struck so much fear in your little hearts that even our eyes are giving you the willies? I truly wonder.

 

I feel uneasy at times when men I don't know watch me. I once got mad at my husband because he went to the house and left me while I was getting things out of the car. I told him, why did you abandon me? Two guys were watching me get stuff out of the car!!! I was mortified and very upset (and also I was near my period) My husband said that he felt upset with my feeling of abandonement and fear at the knowledge of two guys I didn't know watching me, so upset that he almost felt like slamming his fist into the wall! That is so unlike my husband. He then went outside and talked to the guys who were watching me, saying that she (me) is his wife. He was nice to them and nothing bad happened thankfully, but i didn't realize how close he was to a fight, since I was afraid. I then got mad at him for talking to them! These guys, by the way, didn't say anything to me while I was getting stuff out of the car. They had called me sweetheart and tried to talk to me before, however, which is why I was afraid, because I didn't trust them and didn't know their intentions. Possibly they are just normal, friendly guys, but sad to say, there are so many perverted guys in the world that it makes it so easy to be afraid of those who are merely there and watching... now I am ashamed that I was afraid, but I am human. I'm not perfect, and I know all too well that some guys are stronger than me and are also cruel. Anyways, after I had calmed down, my husband and I talked and everything was ok. He knows now though NOT TO LEAVE ME when I'm getting things out of the car. I want him WITH ME while I feel vulnerable. I feel protected and safe and secure when he is around, and i like that feeling.

 

Maybe that answers your question a little bit?

Edited March 26, 2012 by BetheButterfly

[Mme. Chaucer]

So since in that other thread many of these women agreed that men don't have the balls to approach women anymore how are men supposed to meet women without making them feel creeped out. It's just that the messages of these threads seems so contradictory and some of the same women in this thread who are saying that men should never approach women are the ones were bashing men not having the balls to approach them. Is it any wonder why some men just start to feel it is easier to look at porn instead?

 

Excuse me, but you might be on the wrong thread. This thread is NOT about men approaching women or not approaching women, or about what women think about men who approach them or don't.

 

It's about whether women feel "scared" when men "watch" them.

 

And also about belittling women if they do feel scared when men "watch" them - and then turning this "fear" into some kind of proof that the women in question have inflated egos.

 

I'm pretty sure that even a person who is extremely invested in finding crap about women where none exists will have to acknowledge that silently "watching" a woman is not related to approaching a woman. And that "watching" a person is not the same as checking out or noticing one.

 

Come on.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm not seeing how this is a bad thing. If more men used porn to fulfill their sexual needs perhaps there would be far less whining by men about women not wanting them and fewer men expecting women to dole them out sex.

 

I think you are one of VERY FEW women who thinks this :laugh:.

 

All I see on here are women who complain about porn, but I'd imagine it occurs during relationships at the expense of a healthy sex life, which is different.

 

Perhaps you were referring to single men who don't get laid, at which point it would probably be a better idea, however it does become pretty inadequate and isn't really a satisfactory replacement for sexual intimacy. It's just a wank

 

 

Probably best suited to follow social norms, be aware of differing personal boundaries, realize you are a stranger who's likely to be bigger/stronger so trust may not be automatic, and if you want to eye sex or stare at something to get off or appreciate attractiveness use porn to derail someone feeling

 

Agree. This is more of a social skills issue more than anything, which seems to be affecting men more these days (and some women too). It's something I've had to adjust to because I'm autistic so as a result I observe the social skills of others now, and it's definitely lacking these days. It's important to be able to gauge ones own body language as well as others and there will be no problem.

 

This falls in the realm of self-improvement really, and there are classes dedicated to this.

[Mme. Chaucer]

You know, women are actually stalked and raped by men in this world, and it's happened to lots of the women who are reading this thread and / or to others they know. This is not a bash at men. It's just a fact.

 

One good way of avoiding this is to PAY ATTENTION to behavior that seems odd or threatening to you, and to take it seriously.

 

Plenty of guys who do or appear to "watch" women certainly have no predatory intent, but I'm sure that a great percentage of men who do have a predatory intent "watch" the women they are targeting before acting.

[BetheButterfly]

You know, women are actually stalked and raped by men in this world, and it's happened to lots of the women who are reading this thread and / or to others they know. This is not a bash at men. It's just a fact.

 

One good way of avoiding this is to PAY ATTENTION to behavior that seems odd or threatening to you, and to take it seriously.

 

Plenty of guys who do or appear to "watch" women certainly have no predatory intent, but I'm sure that a great percentage of men who do have a predatory intent "watch" the women they are targeting before acting.

 

Agreed. This is so important to note. Some men may not understand the hurt and pain that some women have experienced, and how some women are afraid of men who are cruel. So, men who have an issue with women reacting with concern or fear while being watched, please understand the above.

[ThaWholigan]

Agreed. This is so important to note. Some men may not understand the hurt and pain that some women have experienced, and how some women are afraid of men who are cruel. So, men who have an issue with women reacting with concern or fear while being watched, please understand the above.

 

You know, women are actually stalked and raped by men in this world, and it's happened to lots of the women who are reading this thread and / or to others they know. This is not a bash at men. It's just a fact.

 

One good way of avoiding this is to PAY ATTENTION to behavior that seems odd or threatening to you, and to take it seriously.

 

Plenty of guys who do or appear to "watch" women certainly have no predatory intent, but I'm sure that a great percentage of men who do have a predatory intent "watch" the women they are targeting before acting.

 

I get it, I understand it, maybe not overstand it as I'm not a woman, but I do get it. I know lots of women who have had some very bad experiences, even the minor ones were enough to cause trouble for them internally. It's important as a man to be mindful of these things - without having to walk on eggshells all the time though.

 

I also understand where some of the guys are coming from, as I've had women act funny when I've walked past them before. It's embarrassing, and it also kinda hurt, as I'm certainly not that kind of person. Sometimes I have not even looked at them (eye contact isn't an immediate thing for me as you will probably know). So I do understand where the guys are coming from.

[BetheButterfly]

Many dudes have no manners or rearing. It's a gentleman's duty to put a woman at ease. That is done, by at least nodding hello when there seems to be just a fixed gaze. I've always taken it to heart that it's impolite to stair or gawk. Someone who just stairs is socially illiterate.

 

Or, it would be nice too if, when a man sees that a woman they had talked to or watched before is with another man, just to come over and introduce themselves, say hi, i live in this area... and just chit-chat. That's totally different than just watching or making comments and calling a woman "Sweetheart" in the street, you know? And yes, nodding hello is always nice. I don't mind that at all. What bothers me is comments and being called endearing names by strangers (with the exception of friendly Southern servers lol) and just being watched by men I don't know.

[udolipixie]

I think you are one of VERY FEW women who thinks this :laugh:.

 

All I see on here are women who complain about porn, but I'd imagine it occurs during relationships at the expense of a healthy sex life, which is different.

 

Perhaps you were referring to single men who don't get laid, at which point it would probably be a better idea, however it does become pretty inadequate and isn't really a satisfactory replacement for sexual intimacy. It's just a wank

I'm not trying to equate wanking with sexual intimacy or having sex with a person.

 

I was trying to suggest a way to lessen the amount of men who whine about women not wanting them and expecting women to dole them out sex as it seems to be quite a few men who think women are obligated to have sex with them solely because they're attracted to her. My view is that's probably best suited to masturbate rather than whine about women not fulfilling their role to you as masturbatory tools.

 

Agree. This is more of a social skills issue more than anything, which seems to be affecting men more these days (and some women too). It's something I've had to adjust to because I'm autistic so as a result I observe the social skills of others now, and it's definitely lacking these days. It's important to be able to gauge ones own body language as well as others and there will be no problem.

This.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm not trying to equate wanking with sexual intimacy or having sex with a person.

 

I was trying to suggest a way to lessen the amount of men who whine about women not wanting them and expecting women to dole them out sex as it seems to be quite a few men who think women are obligated to have sex with them solely because they're attracted to her. My view is that's probably best suited to masturbate rather than whine about women not fulfilling their role to you as masturbatory tools.

 

That's pretty funny. I concur......

[Imajerk17]

It's clear from reading the posts on this forum that ALMOST ALL men on here don't understand women. So they just argue and whine. At least their genes will likely die out. Sorry guys, not everyone gets to reproduce.

 

When you stare at a woman (leering at her) with an intent look on your face and don't say anything, you come across as threatening. She has no idea why you are looking at her like that. What are you going to do?

 

And she has reason to feel that way. Maybe you're a "beta male" who is extremely frustrated with women and you're going to take your anger out on her. Maybe you're the Kenworth guy. Anyway, she is wondering if she is in physical danger, or at the very least, if she is going to get into a physical confrontation that she'd really rather avoid.

 

It's legal for you to point your eyes in whatever direction you like. But it's just as legal for a woman to not like that.

 

I can relate personally. I was once in an elevator with a guy with what seemed like a really creepy gay dude. (I'm thinking he was gay because of the way he was leering at me. I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation, only against creeps.) The guy was taller than I was by about 8" and outweighed me by a lot. My "fight or flight" responses were triggered, but as I couldn't "flight" it was now "fight". I was thinking the whole time how I could take him. I mean, I'd rather not fight, but if I had to...

 

You need to show a woman, among other things, that you are socially savvy and friendly. And the way you do that is by starting an interaction with her.

Edited March 26, 2012 by Imajerk17

[ASG]

All my life I've had men shout stuff at me on the streets. It is very unpleasant.

And I've also been attacked a couple of times. Not raped, but attacked.

Once as I was on my way to school, getting out of the subway and this guy tries to grab me. I pushed him and he threw his orange juice all over me, for being so "inconsiderate" to his feelings.

 

Another time, I was walking home, at night and there was a guy behind me. As I reached my door, he walked past, but as I entered the building, he entered behind me and pinned me against the wall. I kicked, bit and screamed an he left.

 

So yeah... I don't like guys staring at me. I get REALLY nervous if I'm walking alone and I sense someone behind me, on an empty street. I don't respond well to being approached randomly, even if at a social event or a bar.

 

And I honestly don't care that most guys who stare/shout remarks/approach wouldn't attack me. The fact that it HAS happened makes me NOT trust anyone, until proven otherwise.

 

So yeah.. go on in thinking that women are just full of themselves. I can almost guarantee that women who react negatively to your staring have had at least one bad experience with staring men.

[Shaun-Dro]

I feel uneasy at times when men I don't know watch me. I once got mad at my husband because he went to the house and left me while I was getting things out of the car. I told him, why did you abandon me? Two guys were watching me get stuff out of the car!!! I was mortified and very upset (and also I was near my period) My husband said that he felt upset with my feeling of abandonement and fear at the knowledge of two guys I didn't know watching me, so upset that he almost felt like slamming his fist into the wall! That is so unlike my husband. He then went outside and talked to the guys who were watching me, saying that she (me) is his wife. He was nice to them and nothing bad happened thankfully, but i didn't realize how close he was to a fight, since I was afraid. I then got mad at him for talking to them! These guys, by the way, didn't say anything to me while I was getting stuff out of the car. They had called me sweetheart and tried to talk to me before, however, which is why I was afraid, because I didn't trust them and didn't know their intentions. Possibly they are just normal, friendly guys, but sad to say, there are so many perverted guys in the world that it makes it so easy to be afraid of those who are merely there and watching... now I am ashamed that I was afraid, but I am human. I'm not perfect, and I know all too well that some guys are stronger than me and are also cruel. Anyways, after I had calmed down, my husband and I talked and everything was ok. He knows now though NOT TO LEAVE ME when I'm getting things out of the car. I want him WITH ME while I feel vulnerable. I feel protected and safe and secure when he is around, and i like that feeling.

 

Maybe that answers your question a little bit?

 

Reasons like this is why men can never buy the "we're all equal" claptrap that's been slung around so much since the feminist movement. I do get it that women want to be treated equally under certain instances, but they know they're not on the same page as men, or ever will be, just saying.

 

I think your actions, Butterfly, were irrational. You don't have to agree, but this is how I took your behavior with those men looking at you. And then one of them called you "sweetheart", to me, that was clear he was interested in you, period. Your stage fright and getting all wound up at your husband was definitely ridiculous and uncalled for. There are ways to be cautious and smart at the same time. You, my dear lady, flunked it.