To get involved or not, that is the question?

[TurtlePower]

Two of my friends who are married, are going through a real tough patch. Both are venting to me about the other. Without getting into specifics, the wife is saying she doesn't feel respected, gets insulted consistently. The husband complains he is under a lot of pressure to get a house, gets badgered for no reason.

 

They both are under the gun because they are expecting their 4th child soon and the wife recently lost her job. Their oldest is the demon spawn (Learned behavior from the father supposedly).

 

I don't know if this is plain he said, she said. But, if I were to take sides (And im trying realllllly hard not to), I would take the side of the wife because I was friends with her before she got married and I became friends with the guy as they were dating as so on and so forth.

 

What should I do?

[cerridwen]

How about saying to each separately,

 

"Scott/Zelda, it sounds like such a rough patch you're experiencing. The pressure, the arguing, I don't want to take sides but instead support you both. How does marriage counseling sound to you? It'll be a place to vent and then, I can be a friend to both of you without feeling pressure to choose one over the other."

[jerbear]

What should I do?

I suggest don't take sides. I have to be friends to both of them and not mediate or be a proxy for one.

 

Depending on how well you know them, you might have to nudge one or the other. But to be honest I'll stay out of domestic marriage disputes. If one starts something and asks you for your opinion, stay out of it.

 

I had friends that went through this. The couple asked their parents, both sides, for help and to choose sides. Well you know what their families said? You two got yourselves into this pickle, you two adults figure it out. Also they said they were to far to provide any assistance. Needless to say, those two are still married and their marriage is stronger; the last time I talked to them.