RedRobin Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I agree with the others that attraction can't be forced.... but there are so many other personal qualities I find attractive in a man. I'd never rule out a guy based on height. I'm 5'6 though, so this has never really been an issue. My ex-H was about the same height as me. 5'7". I told him he was 'fun size'. He was. In situations where people expected him to be taller, I'd wear flat shoes. Not because it bothered him, but because that's how things are, or perhaps, used to be. It didn't bother me. Company parties and our wedding are probably the only times I can think of. I really didn't care at all. Otherwise, it was bring on the heels! He loved my legs. 1
D Z Hughes Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I agree with the others that attraction can't be forced.... but there are so many other personal qualities I find attractive in a man. I'd never rule out a guy based on height. I'm 5'6 though, so this has never really been an issue. My ex-H was about the same height as me. 5'7". I told him he was 'fun size'. He was. In situations where people expected him to be taller, I'd wear flat shoes. Not because it bothered him, but because that's how things are, or perhaps, used to be. It didn't bother me. Company parties and our wedding are probably the only times I can think of. I really didn't care at all. Otherwise, it was bring on the heels! He loved my legs. Im hungry hungry.
loretta Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I find this to be very false. If a tall guy has an attitude, people call him a jerk or say hes cocky and confident. When a short guy does the same thing, people call him napolean and say he has a complex. Yeah insecurities go either way, but I call both sets of guys jerks or diaper babies. The short guys I dated all had similar control or insecurty issues about height though ie: they didn't want me to wear high heels around them( and I would be like awwwww hell no), checked/fancied out shorter women, and generally had a chip on their shoulder about the tall world and how they didn't feel like a real man.
Author zlatnapolja Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 I agree with the others that attraction can't be forced.... but there are so many other personal qualities I find attractive in a man. I'd never rule out a guy based on height. I'm 5'6 though, so this has never really been an issue. My ex-H was about the same height as me. 5'7". I told him he was 'fun size'. He was. In situations where people expected him to be taller, I'd wear flat shoes. Not because it bothered him, but because that's how things are, or perhaps, used to be. It didn't bother me. Company parties and our wedding are probably the only times I can think of. I really didn't care at all. Otherwise, it was bring on the heels! He loved my legs. I think if the connection is strong enough, heights doesnt really matter. What would you do about kissing whenever you'd be wearing your heels?
udolipixie Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I agreed to going on a date with a guy I met a while ago trough friends of mine. Didnt feel like it at first, but today we had our first date . The guy is funny, sweet, nice to talk to good looking. However (I feel aweful for saying this) he is short compared to me... He's taller than I am but not that much (7 cm or maybe even less). So whenever I'd wear heels, I'd be taller than him. To me this is a little weird... I dont expect a guy to be perfect not at all! But I really dont want to feel like the man you know... For instance when he put his arm around me (when we we sitting) I kind of had to make me self shorter for him to be able to put his arm around me... girls (and guys) whats your opninion? Am I right to feel this way, or is it superficial? It's the #1 one thing to me as it's a factor of physical attraction. I don't consider guys under 5'10''. My opinion is that it's not illegal or hurting children/animals so it's not wrong to feel that way and it is superficial however most things about attraction are and as long as you're not overlooking bad qualities to get that superficiality. Ex: no issue to me dumping a sweet funny guy because he's too short yes issue to me choosing an awful guy because he's tall
threebyfate Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I agreed to going on a date with a guy I met a while ago trough friends of mine. Didnt feel like it at first, but today we had our first date . The guy is funny, sweet, nice to talk to good looking. However (I feel aweful for saying this) he is short compared to me... He's taller than I am but not that much (7 cm or maybe even less). So whenever I'd wear heels, I'd be taller than him. To me this is a little weird... I dont expect a guy to be perfect not at all! But I really dont want to feel like the man you know... For instance when he put his arm around me (when we we sitting) I kind of had to make me self shorter for him to be able to put his arm around me... girls (and guys) whats your opninion? Am I right to feel this way, or is it superficial?There's no right or wrong about sexual preference. Is there any chemistry? If not, move on. Both the ex-husband and my husband are over a foot taller than I am. Most of the men dated were close to 6' or over. I'm very much a believer that our foundational upbringing has much to do with our preferences. My father, male siblings, pretty much all the extended family male members were/are close to 6' or taller. It's my comfort zone. Not sure if your family is similar.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) I'm about 5.4 and he's about 5.7 (so he says). If he is a legit 5'7, and you're no taller than 5'4 (you're probably rounding up?), he's about as tall as you are in heels. You might be an inch taller with nearly half-foot heels on, but does that really emasculate him? Your body is still only 5'4, regardless of what you're standing on or what you've got strapped to your feet. You're still a woman. He's still the outie, you're still the innie, you're just more insecure over what others think than he is, he'd probably not care that you're taller with massive lifts because you're naturally much shorter when you're wearing normal shoes as you would be wearing most of your life. Wearing massive lifts will not make you a she-hulk. It doesn't increase your physical strength. If you're so insecure about going out to dinners or something, let him wear special 4" boots when he's out on those special occasions with you. He'd be an inch under 6 feet tall to match your 5'8. I'd say it's only fair and looks somewhat normal, then. BTW, if you really believe that you're taller than him, there's gotta be some sort of objective mental processing issue going on there. It's cool to have preferences as most people do, but it's not cool to think the earth is flat when it just isn't so. You literally said that you're an inch taller than the guy.. But you're actually 4 inches shorter (You're probably not even 5'4) unless you're wearing massive lifts that aren't normal or natural for you. Edited March 25, 2012 by ScreamingTrees
kaylan Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 It's the #1 one thing to me as it's a factor of physical attraction. I don't consider guys under 5'10''. My opinion is that it's not illegal or hurting children/animals so it's not wrong to feel that way and it is superficial however most things about attraction are and as long as you're not overlooking bad qualities to get that superficiality. Ex: no issue to me dumping a sweet funny guy because he's too short yes issue to me choosing an awful guy because he's tall I highly doubt youd be turned off to a guy you clicked with and found to be cute and fit all because he was 5'8 or 5'9. If you would be, then that makes no sense. Then again, its not like it matter since women are rubbish at determining height, and the only time this stuff matter so much is online dating.
mixwell Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Thank god I am 6 ft, I never run into those problems although the tallest chick I've dated was like 5'9, thank god she never wore heels For some reason I seem to always find short girls from 5'2" - 5'6" and I usually like to tease them a little bit about how they're too short for me. I do love short women though <3
udolipixie Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I highly doubt youd be turned off to a guy you clicked with and found to be cute and fit all because he was 5'8 or 5'9. My experiences have shown otherwise. If you would be, then that makes no sense. Attraction. To some guys no matter how well they mesh with a gal if they don't find he r attractive it's just not happening. Doesn't matter the compatibility and how long they get along if she's obese and he's not into the heavy set no matter how pretty her face may be. Or if she's the same age as him and he prefers younger. Then again, its not like it matter since women are rubbish at determining height, and the only time this stuff matter so much is online dating. Some women are rubbish at measuring height. I know my height and I can very easily use it to determine a guy's height.
Dust Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Oh no, this isn't good at all. How will he protect you from the trolls? He must be a good 4 inches taller than you in heels. HAha this really cracked me up. Hahaha is this serious? Cause I'm sensing some sarcasm... Why so serious? I think you're doing yourself no favors if you like this guy but are all stuck on how tall he is. In the end you need to be with some one you're attracted to or its all pointless. If you met the right guy who was 5'2 and made you feel safe you'd go for it. If this guy makes you feel off an you're saying to yourself I should like this guy but I don't just dump him. No need to narrow it down to height. You just arn't feeling this guy obviously because height didn't bother you with your other guy. My friend comes off as 6 foot plus but he's only 5'2. It's really suprising for me to think wow he's only that tall. I mean he looks short but when you get to know him he's big and he does great with women. Meet a guy who makes you feel like a woman. Get off the focus of height and find a guy who makes you feel like a woman. If this guy doesn't make you feel good then he isn't for you.
kaylan Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 My experiences have shown otherwise. Attraction. To some guys no matter how well they mesh with a gal if they don't find he r attractive it's just not happening. Doesn't matter the compatibility and how long they get along if she's obese and he's not into the heavy set no matter how pretty her face may be. Or if she's the same age as him and he prefers younger. Some women are rubbish at measuring height. I know my height and I can very easily use it to determine a guy's height. An inch of height shoulder be enough to negate all the clicking and attraction you have for someone. Lets be serious. Youd really turn down a dude who was physically, mentally, and emotionally appealing to you just because he was 5'9? One inch is a lot different than if he were 4 inches shorter than that. Thats like a guy saying he wouldnt date a chick because she was 3 lbs more than he liked...lets be real here. Like I said, this bs only exists online. I hardly see this play out much in the real world, and Im confident I could pull a chick despite her stated height preference. 1
mixwell Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 My friend comes off as 6 foot plus but he's only 5'2. It's really suprising for me to think wow he's only that tall. I mean he looks short but when you get to know him he's big and he does great with women. This is called little man syndrome, I had a Korean roomate who was 5'6 and you could see that his body language tried to make up for his lack of height. The Fked up thing was his chick at the time was close to his height and when they had broke up his ex said he'd be more attractive if he were taller. I thought that was pretty shallow but they did get back together eventually..
kaylan Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 This is called little man syndrome, I had a Korean roomate who was 5'6 and you could see that his body language tried to make up for his lack of height. The Fked up thing was his chick at the time was close to his height and when they had broke up his ex said he'd be more attractive if he were taller. I thought that was pretty shallow but they did get back together eventually.. See this is the crap I dont like. Im not short, but I sympathize with short dudes. Why the hell must they be stereotyped as having little man syndrome if they have confidence and dont act like push overs. Why cant they act tough? Is that only the realm of average height and taller guys?
mixwell Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 See this is the crap I dont like. Im not short, but I sympathize with short dudes. Why the hell must they be stereotyped as having little man syndrome if they have confidence and dont act like push overs. Why cant they act tough? Is that only the realm of average height and taller guys? I'm not stereotyping them out of ignorance, I actually see it quite often and no there is nothing wrong with being confident but I often see some shorter guys OVER compensating to the point where they try to be tough guys when they don't really need to prove anything. I can just see it in the way some of the shorter males carry themselves, like you'd swear they thought they were 7ft tall and it's kind of like okay dude chill out you don't need to prove anything.
udolipixie Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 An inch of height shoulder be enough to negate all the clicking and attraction you have for someone. Egh there would be low to no attraction. It'd be either an ugh or meh. The clicking wouldn't matter as I wouldn't find him attractive or attractive enough to engage with. Lets be serious. Youd really turn down a dude who was physically, mentally, and emotionally appealing to you just because he was 5'9? He wouldn't be that physically appealing to me if he was 5'9''. The physical appeal would be low to none. With such little or nonexistent appeal there's not that much hassle to me to turn down such a guy. One inch is a lot different than if he were 4 inches shorter than that. Thats like a guy saying he wouldnt date a chick because she was 3 lbs more than he liked...lets be real here. No to me it's like a guy saying he wouldn't date a gal he found unattractive or had little attraction for. Like I said, this bs only exists online. I hardly see this play out much in the real world Different experiences. Some of the experiences on here I haven't encountered or know those that had.
kaylan Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) Egh there would be low to no attraction. It'd be either an ugh or meh. The clicking wouldn't matter as I wouldn't find him attractive or attractive enough to engage with.I dont buy it...because especially with the differences in shoe heels....and the little difference one can tell from an inch of height...youd prolly mistake the guys height as it is. He wouldn't be that physically appealing to me if he was 5'9''. The physical appeal would be low to none. With such little or nonexistent appeal there's not that much hassle to me to turn down such a guy. Again...a guy can simply wear a certain type of shoe and it could change his height an inch. Boots vs running shoes. You telling me youd meet him in boots...be attracted to him because hes cute and has a sexy physique, but then if you saw him later in running shoes, that would all fade away? Riiiight. And even different brands of shoes have different heel sizes, even if the shoe type is the same. Nike Air Force ones have more heel than Nike Dunks...but they are both basketball shoes. No to me it's like a guy saying he wouldn't date a gal he found unattractive or had little attraction for. Different experiences. Some of the experiences on here I haven't encountered or know those that had.Im saying one inch or a half an inch doesnt change much about someones appeal...neither does 3 lbs. A few inches or 15 pounds would be very different. I'm not stereotyping them out of ignorance, I actually see it quite often and no there is nothing wrong with being confident but I often see some shorter guys OVER compensating to the point where they try to be tough guys when they don't really need to prove anything. I can just see it in the way some of the shorter males carry themselves, like you'd swear they thought they were 7ft tall and it's kind of like okay dude chill out you don't need to prove anything. Its simple confirmation bias. People take more notice to a short mans attitude than a average or taller mans, all because of the napoleon stereotype. There are small studies/surveys on this. Google is your friend. Edited March 25, 2012 by kaylan
monkey00 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I had an ex that was 6" taller than me and I'm 5'10". It never really bothered me I always felt that we were evenly tall. I never minded when she had heels on. But near the end of the relationship I realized why we never did PDA...I think possibly the whole height factor made it feel awkward doing it in public for the both of us. But I have to admit though, it is nice to have a girl that's shorter than me...t's just the whole gender thing in general. I have a co-worker who's like 5'4" and I met his wife the other day, maybe 5'7" 5'8". His wife is gorgeous so there's gotta be something to him that she's attracted to (if not his height!). He's a lucky man! I don't think height is so much as issue for a guy VS a skinny guy. I think skinny guys have a harder time with women than someone who's shorter but stockier in meat/fat.
udolipixie Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I dont buy it You don't buy that a person could have no trouble turning down a person they click with if they have little to no attraction to said person? Bit curious as this was the part you quoted in your response: Egh there would be low to no attraction. It'd be either an ugh or meh. The clicking wouldn't matter as I wouldn't find him attractive or attractive enough to engage with. ...because especially with the differences in shoe heels....and the little difference one can tell from an inch of height...youd prolly mistake the guys height as it is. Nope I've never mistook a guy's height to be more than what it is. Again...a guy can simply wear a certain type of shoe and it could change his height an inch. Boots vs running shoes. I am aware of such differences. I'm a gal I kind of notice i get taller if I put on boots or heels. I don't think it's just a thing that happens to the female gender. You telling me youd meet him in boots...be attracted to him because hes cute and has a sexy physique, but then if you saw him later in running shoes, that would all fade away? Riiiight. I wouldn't have to see him in running shoes for this supposed attraction to fade away as there wouldn't be such a degree of attraction. The attraction would have already been an 'ugh' or 'meh' not an 'ooh' or 'yay'. And even different brands of shoes have different heel sizes, even if the shoe type is the same. Nike Air Force ones have more heel than Nike Dunks...but they are both basketball shoes. Yeah I'm aware that shoes tend to increase height. I take that into account. Im saying one inch or a half an inch doesnt change much about someones appeal...neither does 3 lbs. A few inches or 15 pounds would be very different. To you. Some people may be different like me. Different tastes.
kaylan Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 (edited) You don't buy that a person could have no trouble turning down a person they click with if they have little to no attraction to said person? Bit curious as this was the part you quoted in your response: Egh there would be low to no attraction. It'd be either an ugh or meh. The clicking wouldn't matter as I wouldn't find him attractive or attractive enough to engage with. Im saying you are overestimating your ability to pin down height inch by inch. Nope I've never mistook a guy's height to be more than what it is.I dont buy that for one second, but whatever you say. I am aware of such differences. I'm a gal I kind of notice i get taller if I put on boots or heels. I don't think it's just a thing that happens to the female gender. Ok....and? Not every shoe or boot is made equal. You wouldnt always be able to accurately pin down someones height. Im pretty sure youve been attracted to guys who were actually an inch shorter than your 5'10 cut off and you didnt know it. I wouldn't have to see him in running shoes for this supposed attraction to fade away as there wouldn't be such a degree of attraction. The attraction would have already been an 'ugh' or 'meh' not an 'ooh' or 'yay'. Again...how could you tell? Im 5'9 myself...and without telling you, Im sure youd guess wrong because Im slim and have good posture and most people incorrectly guess my height. Youre so good at this that you automatically can go "ewww hes 5'9 ...gross"? Reeeally? Even if the guy has a great face and a perfect body, youd be able to pin down his height and dismiss him solely on that? I find that laughably hard to believe. Yeah I'm aware that shoes tend to increase height. I take that into account. To you. Some people may be different like me. Different tastes.But all shoes are different...thats my point...and its not just the heel, but also the insoles that affect height and you cant see the insoles...so how come youre such a good judge of someones natural height? I mean come on now. Im telling you that given shoes and differences in posture, you wouldnt be able to tell that inch difference. The same way no one could detect a 3 lb difference in a person. You give yourself way too much credit. Lets try and be somewhat realistic here. Edited March 25, 2012 by kaylan 1
Professor X Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 You kinda forgot to tell the people here how that guy talked to you about marriage even when it was not a date, how he kept messaging you, how you blocked him, how he kept going talking to you about how you'd name your kids and how on an unofficial date he started to give comments such as how you need to cover up urself more cause you're showing to much. Also, got no shame, ah? how pathetic.
somedude81 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Are you serious? As if we needed another thread where a woman thinks that a guy who is not taller than her in heels is too short. No I don't find it weird at all. We actually looked really good together being the same height and all. Yay for girls with brains. 1
mixwell Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Its simple confirmation bias. People take more notice to a short mans attitude than a average or taller mans, all because of the napoleon stereotype. There are small studies/surveys on this. Google is your friend. How is it even confirmation bias ? I'm not judging them based off of a belief but purely from my own observation.. I see taller dudes acting like tough guys but maybe you're correct that shorter guys tend to stand out more but I've seen from MY PERSONAL observation that I see a lot more short guys acting this way than other males.. I'm sure the term "Napoleon Complex" wasn't generated from bias but most likely from observation and if there is a term for it then I am obviously not the only one who has noticed but I don't care. If short guys can get theirs then get it, I'm not hating on them.
Dust Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Are you serious? As if we needed another thread where a woman thinks that a guy who is not taller than her in heels is too short. Yay for girls with brains. Go heal your fragile ego. Yes another young woman you will never meet is rejecting some guy who isn't you for what she thinks is height. Oh the humanity. You know a girl once touched my arm and reeled back in repulsion. She was so grossed out that I'm hairy. I seriously found it funny and didn't care. I realize a lot of girls reject short guys for being short. I also know that a lot of girls date, fck, and marry short guys. Please get over the fact that there are women out there who don't like short guys. To the women that don't like short guys you are perfectly entitled to be attracted to what ever you want. You arn't doing yourself any favors by rejecting some one you like because they happen to be a few inches too short or what ever. You also arn't doing yourself any favors if you date a guy you are unattracted to. 3
Professor X Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 You kinda forgot to tell the people here how that guy talked to you about marriage even when it was not a date, how he kept messaging you, how you blocked him, how he kept going talking to you about how you'd name your kids and how on an unofficial date he started to give comments such as how you need to cover up urself more cause you're showing to much. Also, got no shame, ah? how pathetic. I meant this in a serious way, super serious. Also, funny though, he played the "doesn't care" card in the end, you laughed at him, he won as it seems.
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