snug.bunny Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Either way I stand by my last post on page 1. Post #14. Especially the part of the quote I bolded. It's quite simple... OP was rejected by her (then boyfriend). OP is being pursued by hot guy. Sure, there are other avenues to explore and incorporate in order to cope and recover. She could sit home, read a book, go out with her friends, volunteer her time, etc. But, sometimes people are selfish by nature and choose to assuage their own feelings first and in different ways. Hot guy gives the ego boost that was deflated by (then boyfriend), makes her feel 'desirable' and 'wanted'. That is overriding her desire for a 'commitment" with this fella, given she is in a 'transitional' period emotionally. Typically, when women are open to a relationship, physical attraction is important but they tend to look at the overall picture when factoring 'boyfriend' material. I presume it's somewhat the same for men. She isn't hurting anyone by engaging with this fella, so it really isn't at the expense of another person's feelings (unless the fella in question is looking for a serious relationship, if he is, that's a different story). She met him at a night club... If having casual sex leaves OP feeling empty, that will be a cue that doing so is not for her, and, may end up only hurting herself in the end. 1
ThatDudeXO Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Have fun with him but please keep in mind he's probably just going to use you for sex, just like you are. Don't get too attached and don't expect anything from him than an a well sculpted body and a tanned penis. Chances are his enthusiasm from you will fade once you have sex for the first time. So please use him solely for your sexual pleasure and ego, nothing else or you will leave yourself open to pain. 4
EmpoweredWoman Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 The attitudes in this thread are so obnoxious. Women are the victim by default to the white knights. "Be careful, fragile little flower, don't let him use you for sex". Meanwhile, the OP describes the guy as, by and large, a sexual object. He's just a penis attached to an amazing body,a great tan and a tall height. If I made a thread all excited "I met a girl with this amazing rack, and her ass, wow it could be a wonder of the world! I don't plan on having a relationship with her, just want to have some casual sex. Oh yeah and erm um she's ugh funny and charming too (yeah right)". I'd get both men and women on my case like a bunch of army ants "YOU PIG!", "GOD men are so gross, they don't want to commit anymore, all they care about is putting their penis into the hottest body they can find", "This is why relationships always fail these days". But if a woman does it, it's not that she just wants pleasure from a sexual object, no different than any other mindlessly horny frat boy trolling for sex at a night club, it's actually a complex emotional process or her making herself vulnerable to a big bad evil man. You'd think from reading all the posts here that women are more infallible than the pope. If you don't require any connection (beyond cock and pussy) or love for sex, then you are a pig, male or female. You are just an animal. Of course women get around this by inventing a connection when they just really want to **** some guy really badly for his abs, but you are still no different than any other promiscuous man, I think it's worse actually because women have to make no effort to be promiscuous, you are supposed to be the gate keepers of sex while for almost all men getting a casual fling is a challenge worthy of praise when accomplished.
LexiB Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 ^^ Riiiight, except in THIS thread, she said she's pretty sure HE only wants a fling as well. That's totally different from the scenario you described. 1
EmpoweredWoman Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 ^^ Riiiight, except in THIS thread, she said she's pretty sure HE only wants a fling as well. That's totally different from the scenario you described. Why? Feminists by and large argue tirelessly against prostitution, yet it's a mutual exchange. A man pays a woman, they have sex, everyone goes their own way, yet the woman is the victim there too. On this forum , women will argue any man whose been with a hooker is soiled because he sees women as a sexual object. So why can't men see people like ES (not just her, but I'm sure most women have had experiences like hers) as soiled as well? Nope, we have to put on our pink pom poms and cheer about how her animalistic view of sex that it is nothing but cock and pussy is really just a complex emotional process or her about to be victimized. Face it, women objectify men as much as the reverse. But that will never happen on this forum. If you're going to root for the OP, you either have to root for a man who describes women in terms of tits and ass or be a hypocrite. This is why I hate having serious discussions on here. Most men will say and agree "men and women are equally shallow and objectify eachother in dehumanizing ways" , but it's the women on this forum who pipe up and say "NO! MEN ARE WORSE THAN WOMEN! When women do it it's because they are dealing with something really hard to understand in a way that seems completely superficial and immoral". As far as I'm concerned, ES is no different than a man who frequents a prostitute.
Sanman Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 ^^ Riiiight, except in THIS thread, she said she's pretty sure HE only wants a fling as well. That's totally different from the scenario you described. And you know this how when ES is not even sure? I really could care less if ES has a fling with this guy, but let us not pretend that she is showing anymore maturity than a college frat boy and neither are the people egging her on. You can only use people that want to get used. A woman that is willing to sleep with a man before an exclusive relationship is not being used. She is making a decision that may make her unhappy and unless the guy outright lied, it is all on her. If it was not her decision, that is called rape. 4
LexiB Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 And you know this how when ES is not even sure? I know what she posted. :bunny: Met him in a night club and am pretty sure he only wants a fling. That's fine by me... As for the rest of your post.. I really could care less if ES has a fling with this guy, but let us not pretend that she is showing anymore maturity than a college frat boy and neither are the people egging her on. You can only use people that want to get used. A woman that is willing to sleep with a man before an exclusive relationship is not being used. She is making a decision that may make her unhappy and unless the guy outright lied, it is all on her. If it was not her decision, that is called rape. WTF are you going on about here? EW/Wolf18 made a post comparing this thread, about a possible mutual fling, to a hypothetical where a male poster talked about wanting a woman just for sex, without mention of whether said woman was on the same page. I pointed out that the two situations - AS DESCRIBED - are different and therefore, would warrant different receptions. End story. As much as I love when anyone manages to randomly work rape into an otherwise benign convo, the majority of your post is jibberish and completely irrelevant to mine. 1
somedude81 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Wait, can somebody tell me if it's an accomplishment to have a fling with a hot guy? It never really struck me as something that was difficult to do 2
udolipixie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Wait, can somebody tell me if it's an accomplishment to have a fling with a hot guy? It never really struck me as something that was difficult to do I'm quite unsure how you got the mindset of wondering if this is an accomplishment rather than if this is something she wants and will enjoy but: It's an accomplishment to the gal if she thinks it is. Why wouldn't it strike you as difficult to do? Are you under the notion that as a woman she can have sex with any hot guy she wants on tap> Most guys tend to have the standard of wanting an equal or more attractive partner. Hot guys tend to be uncommon and tend to have options. Flings with hot partners tend to be difficult or at least more difficult than a fling with an attractive or more attractive partner.
Sanman Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I know what she posted. As for the rest of your post.. WTF are you going on about here? EW/Wolf18 made a post comparing this thread, about a possible mutual fling, to a hypothetical where a male poster talked about wanting a woman just for sex, without mention of whether said woman was on the same page. I pointed out that the two situations - AS DESCRIBED - are different and therefore, would warrant different receptions. End story. As much as I love when anyone manages to randomly work rape into an otherwise benign convo, the majority of your post is jibberish and completely irrelevant to mine. My point is that anytime two people enter into a sexual relationship without exclusivity or talking about the relationship, it is a fling. She does not know this french model's interests anymore than a college frat boy knows that of a woman he may sleep with. Nor is she particularly interested in his motivations. She plans to sleep with him and see what happens, just as most guys do. 2
kaylan Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) Wait, can somebody tell me if it's an accomplishment to have a fling with a hot guy? It never really struck me as something that was difficult to do With the way the OP appears to be boasting about it, she indeed thinks its an accomplishment. I think it would be rather validating to a lot of folks if they were able to bed someone who was young and fit. However, I think this feeling would fade if they realized their bedding such a person has little to do with them and more to do with that person wanting an easy lay. Either way it is what it is...the girl I had a fling with back in the fall definitely made me get a big head about myself for a little while. She was easily the hottest girl I had ever been with. I was surprised I got her too, because I had just cut my long hair off not long before, and I had slacked off working out for a month before that. Either way, you get a kick out of being seen with someone you know is empirically attractive. I felt more attractive just being with her. Thats just me though...I dont mind admirers of the women Im with...means Im doing something right...and would anyone really hate walking down the beach and turning the heads of all the men and women? Wouldnt being a hot couple kinda be awesome haha? Edited March 26, 2012 by kaylan
Star Gazer Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 With the way the OP appears to be boasting about it, she indeed thinks its an accomplishment. I think it would be rather validating to a lot of folks if they were able to bed someone who was young and fit. I don't think she sees it as an "accomplishment," but it is indeed validating for her. ES is like most women in that she has some insecurities about her appearance, and those insecurities were only strengthened by the things her ex-BF used to say to her about her body. So, even if all he is looking for is an "easy lay" as you put it, ostensibly, a young, hot French male model with the body of an Adonis can have his pic of the litter when it comes to finding that easy lay. That he's chosen ES amongst his harem is in its own way a compliment to her attractiveness in his eyes. In light of her experience with her ex, I don't blame her one bit for being excited about the model's sexual interest. 4
tigressA Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Either way, you get a kick out of being seen with someone you know is empirically attractive. I felt more attractive just being with her. Thats just me though...I dont mind admirers of the women Im with...means Im doing something right...and would anyone really hate walking down the beach and turning the heads of all the men and women? Wouldnt being a hot couple kinda be awesome haha? Oh I totally agree. I love when that happens. I've turned heads with two different guys, one was a fling, one was an ex-boyfriend. Both of them were super-hot and it was a real boost to my ego just being with them and having all the girls around look like they would kill to be in my place. I was like "F*ck yeah!"
somedude81 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I'm quite unsure how you got the mindset of wondering if this is an accomplishment rather than if this is something she wants and will enjoy but: It's an accomplishment to the gal if she thinks it is. Why wouldn't it strike you as difficult to do? Are you under the notion that as a woman she can have sex with any hot guy she wants on tap> Of course, why would I think otherwise? Any decent looking woman, can can get just about any man to have sex with her. I thought this was commonly understood. Most guys tend to have the standard of wanting an equal or more attractive partner. Hot guys tend to be uncommon and tend to have options. Flings with hot partners tend to be difficult or at least more difficult than a fling with an attractive or more attractive partner. More difficult than what exactly, going up to a guy and saying, "Hi, I'm horny, lets screw" I don't think she sees it as an "accomplishment," but it is indeed validating for her. ES is like most women in that she has some insecurities about her appearance, and those insecurities were only strengthened by the things her ex-BF used to say to her about her body. So, even if all he is looking for is an "easy lay" as you put it, ostensibly, a young, hot French male model with the body of an Adonis can have his pic of the litter when it comes to finding that easy lay. That he's chosen ES amongst his harem is in its own way a compliment to her attractiveness in his eyes. In light of her experience with her ex, I don't blame her one bit for being excited about the model's sexual interest. That's exactly the point. So ES can be happy knowing that she's the 4th girl he's had sex with that week. Oh, how exciting. Getting him into an exclusive relationship, now that's an accomplishment. 3
udolipixie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Of course, why would I think otherwise? Any decent looking woman, can can get just about any man to have sex with her. I thought this was commonly understood. Keywords just about. The man in question is far above average and hot. More difficult than what exactly, going up to a guy and saying, "Hi, I'm horny, lets screw" More difficult as in being in the range of attractiveness he likes and him having options that most likely exceed her attraction. Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for. Many hot guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they consider just attractive when they have far more attractive options. That's exactly the point. So ES can be happy knowing that she's the 4th girl he's had sex with that week. Oh, how exciting. Perhaps it is exciting for her to have an extremely attractive guy to fling about. Most people do enjoy sex and would prefer having an attractive partner and in this case the attractiveness is far above standard attractiveness. Getting him into an exclusive relationship, now that's an accomplishment. Getting him into an exclusive relationship is an accomplishment if she considers it one. You and her many have different opinions on what's an accomplishment. If she only wants a fling getting it may be an accomplishment for her.
bikinibeach Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 <3 you ES!! That guys sounds awesome and I am so happy for you! You deserve it. Sorry about all the haters who hijacked your thread. 1
somedude81 Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for. Many hot guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they consider just attractive when they have far more attractive options. Ha ha ha ha! The vast majority of men will have sex with a girl as long as she's decent looking. I'm sure you've heard of men who have had sex with hundreds of women. Do you think that the guy thought that each and every one of them was special or thought she was hot? Just because the guy is hot himself, isn't suddenly going to make him raise his standards for bangable. Perhaps it is exciting for her to have an extremely attractive guy to fling about. Most people do enjoy sex and would prefer having an attractive partner and in this case the attractiveness is far above standard attractiveness.Sure I can accept that. I was just pointing out that having a fling with a hot guy is something that just about every woman can do. I'm not saying that she shouldn't enjoy herself Getting him into an exclusive relationship is an accomplishment if she considers it one. I said it's an accomplishment because getting a guy to commit to something exclusive will be much more difficult then sleeping with him. <3 you ES!! That guys sounds awesome and I am so happy for you! You deserve it. Sorry about all the haters who hijacked your thread. Now why does she deserve it and somebody like QuietGuy doesn't deserve a hot GF. What's the difference?
EmpoweredWoman Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I'm not a 6'2, ripple abs, perfectly tanned, French model so maybe my opinion is of little worth to women, but let me make it clear : Bangable is a very, very broad criteria. I see women every day, who are for all intents and purposes rather unattractive and then say to myself "I don't know if I'd make an effort to, but if she was before me spread eagle, I'd **** her anyway I haven't gotten any in a while". That is really how this french model man is looking at the OP. And trust me, some of my friends, many of whom are better looking than me, get so horny sometimes that they will take a woman 2-3 leagues below them on a few dates, just to have sex with them. Screwing Adonis really is...no achievement. Getting him to commit, like SomeDude said, without having lax parameters like "oh , we're in an open relationship", that's the real achievement. Even then, it might work for a little while, but sooner or later the temptation for a man who has every woman he sees after him will have him cave in, and his girlfriend will get Demi-Moore'd. I predict mr frenchmen giving OP the oui oui and her writing here all heart broken and clueless as to why he was just stringing her along for sex when there was such a connection . Chances are, Jacque's giving it to 2 women at a time. Like I said guys, free love doesn't benefit men at all, only women. They can sample men sexually all they want and get monogamy from the guys in their league as well. If we had only monogamy, and made women marry at 18, all the guys who spend their time complaining here would all have a wife and kids by now.
udolipixie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Ha ha ha ha! The vast majority of men will have sex with a girl as long as she's decent looking. What's amusing is that you're laughing when you're stating the same thing I "Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for." Note you said decent looking so most they didn't find her unattractive or had little attraction for her. I'm sure you've heard of men who have had sex with hundreds of women. Do you think that the guy thought that each and every one of them was special or thought she was hot? I didn't make any mention of being special or hotness. I said What's amusing is that you're laughing when you're stating the same thing I "Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for." Do tell how does thinking most guys wouldn't have sex with a gal they find unattractive or had little attraction for warrant a question of thinking guys thought each/every gal they slept with was special or hot? I think most of those gals the guy was attracted to and for the ones that weren't they were just there last resort or grenades for their fellow friends. Just because the guy is hot himself, isn't suddenly going to make him raise his standards for bangable. I didn't state that being hot automatically means he raises his stndards. I stated many hot guys have far better options thus they the ability to utilize them and may not bother going with a less appealing option than one of the many better ones. Some guys regardless of their own attractiveness or options do raise their standards for bangable. I was just pointing out that having a fling with a hot guy is something that just about every woman can do. Keywords just about. I said it's an accomplishment because getting a guy to commit to something exclusive will be much more difficult then sleeping with him. It's an accomplishment to you. Different opinions. It usually tends to be more difficult for women to get a guy to commit than get a guy to sleep with them. Just as it usually tends to be far more difficult for women to get a guy to marry than get a guy to sleep with them. Now why does she deserve it and somebody like QuietGuy doesn't deserve a hot GF. What's the difference? Deserve is subjective when it comes to things outside of legal rights. The difference is that they're different people. Perhaps QuietGuy is bitter, hateful, resentful, hypocritical, is ineffective with relating/communicating with women, and doesn't have much to offer a girlfriend. The difference is that this is a mutual fling and the other is a likely monogamous relationship. The difference is that it doesn't seem Es have a requirement on the attractiveness of her fling while QuietGuy stated hot gf.
Star Gazer Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Now why does she deserve it and somebody like QuietGuy doesn't deserve a hot GF. What's the difference? 1. ES is hot. QG is not. 2. ES isn't looking for a BF. QG is looking for a GF. Apples to oranges. 1
kaylan Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 (edited) Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for. And many guys would sleep with a girl they found unattractive just so they could bust a nut. I know quite a few guys like this. For plenty of guys, sometimes sex is just sex. Women really dont seem to know men well at all. All I know is Im happy that I have enough control over my hormones not to be one of those guys. And I have too much pride as well.I don't think she sees it as an "accomplishment," but it is indeed validating for her. ES is like most women in that she has some insecurities about her appearance, and those insecurities were only strengthened by the things her ex-BF used to say to her about her body. Agree to disagree. The fact that it seems so validating for her is why it comes off as an accomplishment for her in my eyes. Just the way she presented it all, makes it seem that way. Her ex sucks, sure...but lets not pretend she doesnt feel a huge sense of pride in all this. Not saying thats a bad thing. So, even if all he is looking for is an "easy lay" as you put it, ostensibly, a young, hot French male model with the body of an Adonis can have his pic of the litter when it comes to finding that easy lay. That he's chosen ES amongst his harem is in its own way a compliment to her attractiveness in his eyes. In light of her experience with her ex, I don't blame her one bit for being excited about the model's sexual interest.You must not know men very well. Even though the guys attractive, you cant take his willingness to bang as much more than it is...a desire to add variety to his banging. I have had guy friends who were kings of the campus or town...and they were known to sleep around with all types of women. They were very good looking and fit but sometimes could be pretty indiscriminate about getting it in. So all Im saying is enjoy the ego boost...but its not always as much as we think it is. I enjoyed my ego boost off the girl I had my fling with in the fall, but in retrospect I know it was more about her being easy and wanting sexual variety, than about me being super attractive or anything. Oh I totally agree. I love when that happens. I've turned heads with two different guys, one was a fling, one was an ex-boyfriend. Both of them were super-hot and it was a real boost to my ego just being with them and having all the girls around look like they would kill to be in my place. I was like "F*ck yeah!" lmao...thats great...I cant help but love making some dudes jealous myself...especially the guys who get butt-hurt about the interracial thing like the trolls we have here. Oh wells Edited March 26, 2012 by kaylan 1
Emilia Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 :bunny: V. excited. Met him in a night club and am pretty sure he only wants a fling. That's fine by me, I am too emotionally drained for anything else anyway. We didn't have sex yet but....chemistry is off the scale. OMFGOMFGOMFG he is the most physically perfect specimen I have ever laid my eyes on. He is 25, 6"2' with a body of a greek god (6-pack and everything), deep olive skin, black hair and the biggest green eyes I have ever seen. He is pretty much perfect. He is witty, fun and has the sexiest accent. We are texting all day long. Just livin' in the moment Am I the only person who doesn't believe a word of this? A very hot French male model would perhaps pull a girl like ES on a night out but he wouldn't go on dates with her. The whole thing sounds extremely unlikely, sorry.
Els Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 I really don't get why people are banging on ES for this. I don't think she ever said that it was an accomplishment. She's just excited at the prospect of casual sex with this dude. Isn't that her prerogative? 2
udolipixie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 And many guys would sleep with a girl they found unattractive just so they could bust a nut. I know quite a few guys like this. For plenty of guys, sometimes sex is just sex. Women really dont seem to know men well at all. All I know is Im happy that I have enough control over my hormones not to be one of those guys. And I have too much pride as well. You don't seems to know reading comprehension very well. I know many guys would sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attractive for. In fact I make use of the words last resort and grenade for fellow friends for such gals. I put "Many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction for." If I thought many guys wouldn't sleep with a gal they found unattractive or had little attraction I would but most guys wouldn't do such a thing. If I thought no guys would sleep with a gal they didn't find unattractive or had little attraction for I would put no guys would do such a thing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Meanwhile, back at the ranch - how about an update on dating the French model???
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