Desensitized Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 There's this girl that I've been frequently running into and she's really cute. I can honestly say that I'm really attracted to this girl, unlike the rebound girl I dated a while back. I sort of cut to the chase and I introduced myself, made small talk, and asked her out for coffee. She said, "I would say yes, but I have a boyfriend." I said that it was alright and that my friend gave me the wrong message because he told me that she was single. She giggled and she said, "well, we're sort of on and off, so just give me your number and I'll contact you." What to expect from this? Should I just say hi to her whenever I see her, or pretend to be busy whenever I see her/walk past her? She goes to my uni, so yeah.
eleanorhurting Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 im going to give you the advice i wish i could give myself a few years back: on and off means run
Author Desensitized Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 im going to give you the advice i wish i could give myself a few years back: on and off means run So red flag, huh?
clerm27 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Huge red flag. Get out of there. She's going to short list you and make you an 'Oh well if we break up, then sure'. Screw that man, you can do way better.
RedRobin Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I'm going to take a different tack.... She's explaining the discrepancy in her story and what you heard. The fact that she bothered to explain it AND asked for your number is not a bad thing. I would, however, put this on the back burner. She's otherwise occupied, and until you get a chance to get to know her better and understand her circumstances, it is not worth worrying yourself over. You get LOTS of credit in my book for asking her out and then seeking clarity too. You made it clear you weren't one of those guys who ask out girls that have BFs and that you did your homework in advance. Nothing to be ashamed about whatsoever. Really. She's probably thinking right now... what the heck am I doing with Mr. Off and On guy Oh, and how to behave when you see her? Smile and say hello, just like you would with any acquaintance you are friendly with. She hasn't been rude to you, so no reason to act distant or aloof. If she thinks you are some kind of orbiter because you are nice, that's her problem. 1
Imajerk17 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 She actually did you a favor. She saved you from spending time and energy on a girl who isn't really available. What, would you rather she told you about her boyfriend *after* you took her out? "But I have enough game to win her over from her boyfriend!", you're thinking. Then you have enough game to win over other girls in the meanwhile. Go to it, and maybe one of these days she just might give you a call.
mixwell Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Since she mentioned she had a bf usually it would be time to go but she seemed to make it clear that they were on and off and asked for your number so I think she is somewhat interested but yea like others have said I would just keep it on the backburner and just chat with her when you see her like you would a friend. If she weren't into you at all I'd think she would have left it at "I have a boyfriend" without further explanation.
Imajerk17 Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I have been in your situation before. What I wish I had known and done then... When you run into her, be friendly but unaffected--don't try too hard to make a connection or be her best friend or anything. Meanwhile, make it a point to meet other girls too.
Author Desensitized Posted March 25, 2012 Author Posted March 25, 2012 Huge red flag. Get out of there. She's going to short list you and make you an 'Oh well if we break up, then sure'. I don't like the idea of being an option, that's for sure. But at the same time, I'm not really looking for anything serious. School is keeping me way too busy. The fact that she bothered to explain it AND asked for your number is not a bad thing. Yeah, that's what I thought. But maybe she was being nice? I would, however, put this on the back burner. She's otherwise occupied, and until you get a chance to get to know her better and understand her circumstances, it is not worth worrying yourself over. yeah, definitely not worrying about it, I just don't want to see her and act awkward around her. You get LOTS of credit in my book for asking her out and then seeking clarity too. You made it clear you weren't one of those guys who ask out girls that have BFs and that you did your homework in advance. Nothing to be ashamed about whatsoever. Really. :D She actually did you a favor. She saved you from spending time and energy on a girl who isn't really available. What, would you rather she told you about her boyfriend *after* you took her out? "But I have enough game to win her over from her boyfriend!", you're thinking. Then you have enough game to win over other girls in the meanwhile. Go to it, and maybe one of these days she just might give you a call. Yeah, I just can't seem to find any girls that I am attracted to around campus, as bad as that sounds. And don't get me wrong, there are the girls that I see from day to day that are very good looking, but I usually never approach because I think they are out of my league *shrug*
Dust Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 Well firstly you should have got her number. You should have wipped out your phone and said here dial yourself then we'll both have each others numbers. I wouldn't worry about this. She may or may not call you. By the way friend info is often WRONG so as you can see your friend said "yes she's single" and she wasn't... there for your friend may be telling you girls have bf's when they are actually single. Just ask out girls you like and don't worry so much if they have bf/husbands. They'll let you know.
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