fdsaf Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 This is my first post on these forums, but I need some advice. I'm not good at asking friends for advice, but I figure I can ask anonymous internet strangers. Anyway, there's the long and short of my current situation. I'm a chronic monogamist. I'm 26, and for most of the past ten years I've been involved in a serious relationship. I dated my first girlfriend for about two years before she broke it off. I then dated my second girlfriend for most of my college years (about 3.5 years, all things considered) before I broke it off with her. I started dating my most recent ex immediately after breaking it off with the previous girl. I know this goes against all the rules, but things just worked. There was the classic "spark" that everyone talks about, and for the past five years or so we were together. Anyway, we broke up a little more than a week ago. There are a few underlying issues about why we broke up. The primary reason is that she just wasn't happy. She's big on always being cheerful and happy, and our relationship was too stressful for that to happen. I understand that. I'm sad and frustrated that it's over. I must confess that I'm not handling this situation well at all. When I ended things the night we broke up, the conversation dragged on way too long and got pretty negative towards her. I also made the mistake of going over and talking to her today under the pretense of getting my stuff back, and that conversation also ended with crying and negativity. I'm not trying to be a jerk. I just suck at breakups. I really love this girl, and I want more than anything to be with her. Our lives are moving in different directions, and I respect that on a logical level. But on an emotional level, I just want things to go back to how they were. I'm not sure what the impetus was for me to write this out. I suppose it's a cathartic release of things I want to talk about but have been holding in. I know what most of you are going to say: stop contacting her, let her live her life, move on with mine, etc. I get it. I'll get there eventually. I'm just having a really hard time getting to that point. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any feedback/advice would be appreciated.
Thatguyintx Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I know what most of you are going to say: stop contacting her, let her live her life, move on with mine, etc. I get it. I'll get there eventually. I'm just having a really hard time getting to that point. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any feedback/advice would be appreciated. Not most of us, probably all of us. I know it's easier said than done. Im right there with you. More important than letting her live her life is you need to let you live your life. Be selfish for now. You need to do for you.
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