confusedandregretful Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 My boyfriend abruptly dumped me on Wednesday saying that "he found the one too early" - he loves me but can't accept that at 23 he needs to "settle down." He told me he'd probably end up regretting the decision, but said it made sense to him. For background...he has severe depression and has done something similar to this before except the excuse the last time was "we peaked and I don't want it to go downhill" I've heard all the advice of not being involved with someone who has psych issues...that's not why I'm posting. On Thursday I decided to start NC. But by 10:30am Thursday morning he had already texted "I'm going to get help". I left the text as "delivered" in my phone and left my apartment for a bit, leaving the phone behind so I wouldn't be tempted. Later one he instant messaged me on the computer and made small talk - and I tried to abruptly end the convo as soon as possible. Later on on Thursday I allowed his earlier bbm to be received and within a few minutes he messaged me asking if I had tried to call. I was going to ignore the message but finally put "not me" which opened up the door to a ten minute text convo where he basically said 1) he did this because of his problems (which I do believer factored in although I do feel he felt a little "comfortable" in our relationship and perhaps got bored 2) asked if I would ever take him back 3) he'll regret his decision etc Now we work together so of course, because life is a bitch, we bumped into each other at work. After this run in, he texted me again saying he misses me and wishes he was strong like me - that he ****ed up and he'll always want me - would I ever take him back? etc. And me, being an idiot, (although I know mentally he is suffering so I felt bad ignoring him) responded and again a conversation ensued - from my end it was me saying over and over "everything will be ok, stick with your plan, you can do it, its the best decision" I didn't hear from him last night and this morning there hasn't been any word. I'm very tempted to text or call...I already made plans with girlfriends tonight so I'll be distracted...but for the time being I feel left alone with my thoughts and I really miss him and want him. I'm trying hard to stick with NC for multiple reasons 1. He does need help and he needs to focus on himself - removing me from the situation may allow him to do so 2. I've always been there for him - I think he does need to feel a void for a bit to see what its like without me as bitchy as that sounds - but it would help perhaps with him realizing this is not a sure thing and I'm not a doormat I'm just a girl who accommodated someone who had some issues 3. I need space too - I need to think of what I really want I guess my question is...if I end up still wanting him...will ignoring him in the beginning if he's been reaching out drive him away? Do you think he'll miss me? - will this work? I've haven't read anything about NC in the context of your ex immediately regretting the break up...but I don't want to rush back together now because all the same problems will ensue....we need time apart to grow and heal and assess the situation. He chased me for two years before we got together, I do think he needs to chase again and feel a void.. but is this right? Thoughts?
Recommended Posts