JiminyCricket Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 Hi, About a year ago I moved from my hometown of 25,000 to a city of 1 million. Mostly because I had a job offer to make very good money for my age (20). I believe I will find more opportunities in the city and have a better life all around. Also there is more to offer for education. Ever since I've moved I haven't made too many new friends but it doesn't bother me because I have been working hard to pay off a small debt and save money to travel. My problem is my old best friend who decided to stay in our hometown hasn't seemed to change at all. He works a dead end job where he does not save any money. I have offered to help him move to someplace better but he feels loyal to his boss I think and maybe not ready to leave… A couple weeks ago he inherited $120k and asked my advice if he should buy a new vehicle worth $40k. I told him it wasn't a good idea and he went and bought it. It frustrated me seeing something that could help him out be wasted on a big want. I understand he still has a lot of money left but I would save all of it if it were me. Today he texted me saying if it were a good idea getting involved with a 16 year old girl! He's 22. I instantly reacted negatively. Basically told him his life is not going in a good direction in his current situation and he should try to better himself in some way. I had told him not to ask my advice anymore. I feel bad in a way but I'm not sure what to do I am distraught at the thought of his choices. I feel I've grown a lot and all my friends including him don't seem to be doing changing… they live the same lives as before and I've experienced all these new things, met new people, and opened many opportunities. I want better for him specifically but he doesn't seem to want change…
CC12 Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 I want better for him specifically but he doesn't seem to want change… You can't make him change. He seems to be fine with who he is and what he does. It's you who has the problem with it. If you don't want to be friends with him anymore, then don't. People grow up and they change (or they don't) and friendships sometimes don't last forever. It's very natural. Actually, him dating a 16-year-old is the perfect opportunity for you to tell him, "Sorry, I've lost a lot of respect for you and we can't be friends anymore." Because an adult dating a child is ****ing gross. But do be careful to not have the attitude of Mr. Big-shot City Boy who is too good for his old friends and knows what's best for them. You've been blessed with a lot of opportunities, don't let it get to your head. 1
Author JiminyCricket Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 Too true I suppose. Just a bit hard watching it drift in different directions. We'd been best friends for 7 years. He' actually only 21 going on 22 but it still doesn't seem right to me. His excuse for me was "I'm really lonely and need female attention" and "I asked a handful of people and they said age is just a number so I'll just see how it goes". Each to their own I guess I just know in the hometown there it is slimpickin and this sort of thing is somewhat common… thats why I always viewed him as above it there. He's better than that. Anyways thanks for the advice, it did help. I told him not to talk to me unless he has positive things to tell me. I told him I cannot give him advice anymore because our lives are different. I will likely talk to him again shortly and apologize for my behaviour and that I know I can't change what he does and what he is doing is alright if it makes him happy. I will however bring up that I view the girl situation wrong and I cannot respect him going down that path. I'll always be his friend I suppose but we will continue to drift.
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