hotloader Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 I went over to my boyfriend's house last night. The fact that you weren't shacking up and leeching off of him after a whole six months earns you hardcore props from me. Most women are like parasites that way. You'll be fine. Sounds like he's been f'd over so many times that he decided to preemptively cut the cord with you to save himself the emotional pain of you doing it to him. You can thank your vaginal brethren for that one.
Author mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2012 Author Posted April 1, 2012 I'm feeling better. I went about my business this past week and I haven't tried to contact him. He did, however, contact me via email because it seems my email got hacked and I sent spam out to several people. He asked if this was real, I wrote back it was not my account was hacked and I sent spam out to many. Other than that, nothing. I can do better, and I deserve more.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Yeah, that's pretty harsh. I got "let go" a few weeks ago after a 6 month relationship. I was less than impressed that she dumped me by text message... at least you had it in person. Not that I'm saying mine was any harsher - it's not a contest I really want to win. Oh … I'm sorry. I must have missed this. I thought you were still happily attached. And by text - may I say that sounds like quite a cowardly and even bitchlike thing to do? Yuck. OP - it sounds like this relationship was over for a while before you got the harsh dump. A fairly new relationship of a few months is unlikely to be healthy if it is carried out only via Facebook chat for weeks. I hope you're okay.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 For the record, a good break up consists of 1. Talking in a quiet, private place. 2. Saying something positive about the relationship, or what you have liked about being together. 3. Gently stating that the relationship can't progress further because in your mind _____.....(whatever reason is, be nice, but be firm about no chance moving forward together.) 4. Giving them a compliment to help assuage their ego (as in, you are an amazing kisser, or I always felt safe when you held me, I will never forgot how you were there for me when my dog died...etc.) 5. Give them a chance to ask questions. Hug them good bye. Don't say let's be friends. Maybe in time, but right now, that hurts. Basically, show some respect for someone who has shared their heart and body with you. Some people don't get it. I don't give a sh#t if someone is scared, they should still try to break up in a decent way. It's common respect. This is nice in theory but it all falls apart at #3. People have all sorts of reasons for breaking up with their SO's and sometimes there is no gentle way of putting it. What if you want to break up because your SO has gotten fat? Or because you met someone who is more attractive? Or because your SO bores you to death? I mean, how do you imagine such a conversation playing out? I'm sorry honey, I think you are a great person and we've had some wonderful times together but I'm afraid to say you are really starting to annoy me with your constant nagging. Plus, I met this new girl a couple of weeks ago...she's smoking hot and you've been gaining weight, so....Do you gave any questions?
fishtaco Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 That was my ex. Just stopped responding, vanished, never to be heard from again. It's awful. Happened to me before too. Yeah, it was lame. Months later she sent me a txt message apologizing. Heh, whatever. I always thought it was better to do it in person. My long distance relationship, I drove 120 miles one way, on a Monday night, to break up with her in person. Because she was important to me, but I had to do what I had to do... what a horrible night... for both of us...
waiting4u Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 Sorry to hear about this sweetie, but it sounds like you are better off without him. And at least he sort of felt the need to do it in person. I agree with some people that in shorter term relationships I wouldn't mind being dumped via phone or whatever is non-confrontational. The worst part of breakups with long-term people are the repeated agonizing conversations in which one person attempts to save the relationship when the other person wants out. I firmly believe every breakup makes you stronger. I've always been the dumper until my last boyfriend who basically proved himself the devil incarnate decided to abruptly (and physically) toss me out after yelling at me for an hour about all the things he was angry about that had apparently been building for a long time. I really loved him. It sucked. I thought I'd never get over that, but I did. And I learned a lot in the process of healing. Check out this video and song - might make you feel better - or at least give you some perspective on how many times in our lives our hearts will be broken. ((hugs)) You sound like you'll be just fine.
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