olosir Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Hello all, I met a young woman a week ago while we were both reading outside. She attends the university where I completed my grad program last year, and I'm still living in the same city for a few more months. Anyway, I like to read on the campus green from time to time, and last Friday I found myself sitting next to this very attractive person. She actually asked me a question about the book I was reading and thus it began. We had a great conversation, exchanged e-mails and numbers, and within a few hours she began e-mailing me. After dozens of amazing e-mails and lots of playful texts, it was clear that we both wanted the same thing: not exactly dating, not exactly friends with benefits. We were just really attracted to one another and wanted to fool around, lay in bed together, and kind of escape from the stresses of our lives. She's only 20 while I'm 29, and we're obviously in very different stages of our lives. Neither of us really expected a serious relationship. I was clear that I'll be moving soon and she was equally direct regarding her desire to just have a good time and enjoy someone's company for a short time. Fast forward to Tuesday night. We took a walk, drank wine, had a great conversation, and then went back to my place. We had agreed that we would just fool around and not have sex the first night. We did everything but that and it was good. She spent the night and agreed that we wanted to do it again Wednesday. She came over again, the foreplay was great, and we moved into oral. At this point, I knew something was wrong. I did not have a strong erection and I felt strangely anxious. After I put the condom on and we were about to have intercourse, I went completely limp. I can't really describe how I felt. The level of shame and helplessness was unbearable. I've had a significant number of sexual partners and had not once experienced any difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection. All I could summon myself to do was to resume foreplay in hopes I would get erect again. Unfortunately, I didn't. After a little while, I just stopped and we awkwardly fell asleep. She left my place Thursday morning and we kissed goodbye. Meanwhile, she left for spring break last night and won't be back for a week. We have not talked today. Frankly, I don't know what to do. It's not so much that I think that we're incredibly compatible; it's more just my embarrassment and need for some type of resolution. I feel like I either need to explain what happened, pretend it didn't happen and see if she is interested in spending time with me when she returns, or just completely disappear and forget about this. And, of course, I'm anxious about my erectile function. It's kind of like I wish she were here and I could have another opportunity right away. Instead, I'm forced to wait and I'm stuck in this horrible, nebulous space. So what do I do? How do you think she feels? Is there a good way to handle this?
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