jus d'orange Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Hi everyone! I'd been posting in the break-up forum for a little while after my breakup (LDR) 2 months ago. It was a rough experience for me -- the end of my first love after nearly 4 years of being together. If you'd like, you can read about it there, but you don't really need to. If you need reassurance, I'm not rebounding or feeling the need to be in a relationship... I certainly didn't plan for the following story! Anyway, I'm a guy, college-student in my early 20s. There's a girl here at school who I've known for 3 years on a "say hi" sorta level. Anyway, she asked me about my (now ex) girlfriend a bit over a month after the breakup and I politely informed her that the relationship had ended. She was apologetic and I let her know it wasn't a big deal. Anyway, we happened into each other a few more times in the coming weeks and she ended up asking to exchange numbers. A couple weeks ago, we hung out a few times in groups, then 4-5 times just the two of us. We went on some small dates -- out for coffee and such -- which was all new to me because I haven't been single since I was a high school student. One night she came over and we watched a movie together, ended up cuddling on the couch. Nothing more... I'm a pretty cautious guy and I really like to respect a girl's comfort zone. She seemed pretty comfortable with it. We hung out kinda late, then I walked her home. Since the following day, she's stopped texting me altogether. I texted her once or twice, but she was cold and snappy with the responses. I go to a small school, so I still see her regularly enough, and we've even hung out in small groups since then. She's still totally amiable, but any other sort of communication or signs of interest are gone. I took the hint from the texts and her "being busy" and have just left it alone. However, I was happy with how things were going. She's a really cute, intelligent girl that I felt I got along with naturally. Any idea what the deal is? I don't think it's gossip, since I had only a few close, non-mutual friends I talked about it with. Also, I didn't do anything creepy or out of line to my knowledge... Was pretty straightforward and lighthearted about the whole thing. Please ask for more details if necessary. I guess I'm looking for a bit of advice or maybe insight into what's going on. I suppose the simplest explanation would be that she's just not interested... if so, oh well! For the time being, I'm just waiting to see what happens on her end. Thanks in advance.
CC12 Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 One night she came over and we watched a movie together' date=' ended up cuddling on the couch. Nothing more... I'm a pretty cautious guy and I really like to respect a girl's comfort zone.[/quote'] Then I assume you weren't the one who initiated the cuddling, but did you at least reciprocate it? Like, did you put your arm around her or anything, or did you just kind of sit there and let her lean on you and stuff? If you didn't really seem into the cuddling (and obviously you didn't try to kiss her) she probably took it as a rejection and figured you weren't that interested in her.
Author jus d'orange Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 Actually I initiated, but she reciprocated-- leant into it, etc.
Author jus d'orange Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 In other words, I think I was really clear about my intentions and interests, but still kept it all comfortable. I'm not sure if I messed that up; maybe it was too soon for that, even? I'm not sure what her dynamic is on the whole thing.
eleanorhurting Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 maybe she is scared you are not over your ex since it has only been 2 months
Author jus d'orange Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 maybe she is scared you are not over your ex since it has only been 2 months I think that could be it... She did know right from the beginning of the time we were hanging out, and I almost suspected that's why she asked for my number... I was then "available," and maybe she got scared when things started moving along. Even though I'd totally respect that, I never did anything to suggest that I'm not over my ex. I never even mentioned her... She's no longer a part of my life and I don't really think of her much.
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