Lolita_Sky Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Its been over a month since my ex dumped me. I've been through the crying and, anger, hate, love, and ultimately the coming to terms of the breakup. I haven't cried in two weeks and I have been doing things to keep myself busy. However I still think about him....a lot. So much to the point that I dream about him every night now. Its upsetting me so much. I want to move on from this guy but my thoughts keep going back to him. And the fact that I know I am the farthest thing from his mind right now enrages me that I am even thinking about him. I feel all the pain coming back and I just don't want to go back to all of the lousy miserable crying. I hate crying I don't like to cry period as I feel it shows a sign of weakness, I don't like crying because there is never anyone there to console me and it just makes it all the more harder to deal. So now all I am doing is fighting back/suppressing the pain and the tears. I just feel as if this person has truly put a dent in my heart. I don't know if I can ever be with anyone again. I just don't want to go through this pain again. It gets tiring after going through it over and over again. You come to a point where you think. "What's the point?" It's really not worth it in the end.
wilsonx Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Having emotions and expressing them is what separates humans from vulcans. There's nothing wrong with emotions or expressing them. Life is more colorful and meaningful when you dont suppress them and learn to embrace them. You see the world from a whole new light, you feel free, no longer trapped in your own self. You finally have control over you! Always remember, anger and sadness in their purest forum are positive emotions, they tell you that something needs to change. Listen to that tear that rolls down your cheek, what is it telling you? 1
jennisfora Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I think I read somewhere that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. I thought I was almost over my ex, but ended up calling a counselling line today because, i just started crying uncontrollable, and feeling a sense of loss. unfortunately, with my situation there isn't much closure, so i will be fine, and then suddenly, i won't. i guess what i am saying is what you are going through is normal. and by letting the feelings out, you will probably heal faster. If you keep them hidden, they will come out eventually but perhaps in a place or a way that won't be good. It is normal to grieve, it is a part of the process. You are mourning the loss. Your relationship has died, and you need to have the funeral and bury it, with all the hopes and dreams of the future that is still born. I think it is that untapped potential future that makes me sad. What we could have had, all the memories we could have made. It's all gone, and it wasn't up to me, and I couldn't fix it. It is out of my control, which makes it harder too. I think the person who does the dumping recovers faster because they made the choice. For the one left behind, especially if there was a lack of communication, it can be brutal. You have to treat it like a loss, a death. Because that is what it is. *hugs*
Cmac Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I feel you on the dreams. For me, they are the hardest part of the breakup. Dreaming that you're together again and happy, and waking up to realise it's not real, I have the dreams quite often, it really can set you back if you haven't thought about things in a while to all of a sudden have them consume your dreams.
jennisfora Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 the first two weeks were brutal that way, i kept waking up thinking he was there, and that part of the bed would be empty, and it would all come rushing back. that doesn't happen as often anymore, now it is more likely an association, or a memory popping up. sometimes in my work a customer will say something innocent like, no wedding ring, surprised you havent been snapped up by now, and i will burst into tears. i know they mean no harm, and have no idea what's going on with me. better to have a good cry at home then have it happen at work, or in the grocery store.
Recommended Posts