sweetsmmr91 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 This guy, I mentioned him before, was so sweet at the beginning.. yada yada yada. Then he spills that he has commitment issues. Then he pulls away, comes back when he comes to help me when I'm drinking and I tell him there are tons of guys who want to be with me. Ever since that he's been really sweet and attentive. I backed off and played it cool. Made it clear I was talking to other guys because he told me he wanted to move slower. Then yesterday, he asked me if I'd be willing to not talk to these other guys? I thought that was a little weird. But I'm incredibly into him. I was going to be like "no way!" but he's really a nice guy. I genuinely don't think he's a bad guy at all. I kind of came to that conclusion recently. He said he doesn't talk to other girls, and that I really can talk to anyone I want.. but that he's a little jealous. He doesn't want me to be with someone else. But he also acknowledged that it's not fair for him to expect me to not talk to other guys.. Well, so what then? Is this just.. us exclusively "talking to each other " without dating other people? Because he doesn't want to call it dating. He doesn't want me to be his girlfriend. He isn't ready. Which I'm fine with (I guess, at the moment), but he's still saying that he's freaked out by commitment. And I'm just thinking, why in the world should I cut off ties to other men.. when you don't want to be in a relationship now and you're not sure you want to be in the future? What in the world! Anyways, he spent plenty of time telling me that I'm incredibly pretty, and awesome, and I'm funny, blah blah. But the other girls before me seemed awesome too, and he's been really hurt so often that it's to the point where he just texts his best friend and says "hey it happened again" and he knows that the girl broke up with him.. and his friend predicts it. I guess he has a habit of rushing and getting really, really serious with girls and then the girls changing their minds. So, maybe I should be happy he's not rushing in with me? But it kind of makes me mad too because if he did for all of them.. what's wrong with me that he's not!? Anyways, I asked him if he'd change anything about me and he said "the way you see yourself". Meaning that he thinks I should see myself as thin, and pretty because he can tell that the weight loss is still making it hard for me to see me the way I am right now. It was a really great, sweet answer. Honestly perfect. And made me genuinely like him even more.. and he's almost always that sweet.. And I'm almost always a little bit crazy and zany and hyper, and he thinks it's funny and different, because he's kind of quiet and laid back. So our personalities are really good together. I guess I'm just saying, I think he's a good guy, not a jerk. And I think he'd be worth figuring things out with. But I'm confused on if I made the right move saying I wouldn't talk to other guys and that I don't even want to.. which is true. Should I just go with the flow and do what I can to make him comfortable? And hope that he'll end up wanting a relationship? Or am I being pathetic? I don't want him to get comfortable with me basically being his on call girlfriend. He's accepted that I won't have sex until I'm in a relationship, and he thinks that's really great and doesn't have a problem with it at all. And he doesn't seem to go out with friends and meet other girls. He just goes to work, plays video games, goes to the gym, hangs out with his family, and me on occasion.. really normal guy. I don't think it's that he loves the single life. He's just an enigma! Men. Difficult. I could use some fresh opinions on this, because I'm jumbled :/
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